NUKE_CLEVELAND

QUOTE(YASNY @ Sep 24, 2005 -> 06:25 AM) A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and was for distribution of all wealth. She felt deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican which she expressed openly. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and more welfare programs. In the middle of her heartfelt diatribe based upon the lectures she had from her far left professors at her school, he stopped her and asked her pointblank, how she was doing in school. She answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA and let him know that it was tough to maintain. That she had to study all the time, never had time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying. That she was taking a more difficult curriculum. Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Mary?" She replied, "Mary is just getting by," she continued, "all she has is barely a 2.0 GPA," adding, "and all she takes are easy classes and she never studies." But to explain further she continued emotionally, "But Mary is so very popular on campus; college for her is a blast, she goes to all the parties all the time and very often doesn't even show up for classes because she is too hung over." Her father then asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your 4.0 GPA and give it to her friend who only had a 2.0?" He continued, "That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair, equal distribution of GPA." The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I worked really hard for mine, I did without and Mary has done little or nothing; she played while I worked real hard!" Her father slowly smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." NICE!!!! Im gonna remember that one.

Here's my submission. This woman walks into an ice cream parlor and the clerk behind the counter is like "Welcome! We have 31 flavors but Im aftaid we're out of chocolate today." Woman thinks for a minute then says "I'll have a half-gallon of your chocolate ice cream" Clerk says "Ma'am Im sorry but we're out of the chocolate. Can I interest you in something else?" Woman thinks for a minute and says "Ok, I'll have a pint of your chocolate ice cream" Clerk is getting a little miffed and repeats that they're out of chocolate but tries to get her to choose something else. Woman thinks some more and then says "I'll have a scoop of your chocolate ice cream." Clerk is pissed now and says to the lady "Lady can you spell the straw in strawberry?" Lady spells it Clerk says "Can you spell the Van in vanilla?" Lady spells it Clerk then says "Can you spell the f*** in chocolate?" Lady thinks for a sec and says "Wait, there is no f*** in chocolate" Clerk is like THATS WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO f***ING TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!

QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Sep 23, 2005 -> 06:44 PM) Hey Oz, how about doing something realistic like not pissing away the division before running your mouth about what you'd do if you won the WS? That comment is like me saying: Ya know if I ever f*ck Carmen Electra, I'll go ahead and cut my c*ck off afterward. LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRICELESS!!!!!!!!

QUOTE(southsideirish71 @ Sep 22, 2005 -> 09:49 AM) I am glad he has the stones for the job. f***ing pathetic. I do believe that he made a comment in his press conference that he was hired to eventually be fired. Year 2 into it and his first pennant race and he cant handle it. LOO BISH. JOO PEOPL DON NO HO HAR DIS YOB IZ!!! AL JOO DO IZ BOO AN IM SII O ID.

QUOTE(DonkeyKongerko @ Sep 22, 2005 -> 10:19 AM) Hey, there's not many guys willing to give real-time stock tips on any issue for free like that. Sure there's alot of day-trader mentality in the show, but a responsible investor can still glean some useful information from Jim. That and he's damn hilarious. I love Mad Money.......never miss it. I watch CNBC during the morning time when Im getting ready for work and they get info out pretty well but Cramer makes things fun and I like that.

QUOTE(SoxFan562004 @ Sep 21, 2005 -> 09:25 PM) I'll go out a little further and say 2nd inning tomorrow, it will be bases loaded no outs, and they manage one run out of it, and that will be it... B-Mac pitches his ass of and leaves after 7 tied at 1 Probably get that run on a double play as well.

QUOTE(Gene Honda Civic @ Sep 21, 2005 -> 08:14 PM) We've got 6 outs left in tonights shutout. Tomorrow is Santana. When was the last time the Sox scored in the early innings? -- We're staring a solid 20 inning scoring drought right in the face. Just as soon as it doesn't matter dude.

This is f***ing retarded. f*** this team.

Oh, is this us getting schooled by another jackass pitcher in our own house? Thats what I thought...... :rolly

f***ING RIP EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon you're talking about some real money. :rolly

QUOTE(Balta1701 @ Sep 21, 2005 -> 10:07 AM) Just because they have different standards for when to vote for or against a particular nominee doesn't mean that they're dickheads. Leahy is willing to vote for a guy who he disagrees with on a lot of issues, probably because he's convinced voting against Roberts will not do anything to get a better nominee out of Bush. Reid is not, possibly because he wants to send a message to Bush that the next pick needs to also be fairly moderate. Also...is that not a personal attack? If that's not getting edited, then can I restart using my angry nicknames about our governor out here? (Gov. A**-grabber and so forth) I think the personal attacks thing went for fellow posters and Sox players. Politicians are fair game.

ITS ABOUT TIME SOMEONE ON THIS GRABBED THEIR NUTS AND DID SOMETHING. GIMMIE A HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

QUOTE(aboz56 @ Sep 20, 2005 -> 10:32 AM) http://www.suntimes.com/output/mariotti/cst-spt-jay20.html My favorite line: I couldn't have said it better myself. Imagine that. The f***ing tool is right for a change.

This could REALLY get ugly.

Minister Louis Farrakan is claiming the levee in NO was "blown up in order to destroy the black part of town". LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Saw it on Fox News.

I dont have a link but I heard on Fox News that the state of Idaho is going to use the Federal RICO statuate to sue agri-business to recoup the costs incurred by services for illegal aliens knowingly hired by them. If Im reading this right I really like this move. I hope they're successful.

QUOTE(The Ginger Kid @ Sep 19, 2005 -> 11:23 PM) No one wants the shame and humiliation of "blowing" a 15 game lead. But at some point people are going to have to step back and accept the fact that Cleveland has played great baseball the last month and a half. I just hope the Sox stay aggressive tomorrow. Cleveland has really impressed me, much as it pains me to say it. They clearly want this division a lot more than we do.

QUOTE(fathom @ Sep 19, 2005 -> 11:25 PM) A lot more than just the Sunday lineups I have an issue with. Nuke, you know I love the chat crew. I'm sure we've discussed problems that we see with our manager. LOL Oh yeah.. In a less than civil manner as well. LMFAO!!!

QUOTE(fathom @ Sep 19, 2005 -> 11:21 PM) There's so much I would love to complain about on here, but I don't want to get banned. I want Ozzie to play his best players, and I don't give a s*** what the story of the player is. YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME! Ive been saying that all season long. Every time me and the rest of the chat crew b**** about the Sunday lineup. I bet he'd like to have a few of those back right now.

I cant believe they gave this f***ing guy a big extension based on a half season of success. At least wait to see what hes really capable of before pulling out the wallet.

QUOTE(aboz56 @ Sep 19, 2005 -> 11:07 PM) Look at the bright side, we will get a huge ovation from the crowd when we call out Ozzie at Soxfest. I really hope I can get there for that. Me and the rest of the chat crew are gonna have PLENTY to say.

QUOTE(Dick Allen @ Sep 19, 2005 -> 11:04 PM) I'll be at the rest of this season's home games, and I am not going to boo anymore. I'm going to gag. Just like the Sox. The way this team is acting I can think of better uses for my hard earned money. This team is pissing me the hell off.

QUOTE(kapkomet @ Sep 19, 2005 -> 10:23 PM) Nearly all of the models are now in agreement that Galveston and Texas City are right in line for a direct hit. They also expect Houston to have widespread damage. They say 120 mph winds are likely by Thursday and from there they're not sure. The thing is once it gets out over the gulf waters NOT effected by Katrina, it will strengthen just as much as Katrina, I fear. I doubled down on my Halliburton position as soon as I heard about this. Its already up 3 points and looking higher in the morning again. Look for oil to spike back up to the 70 something level here REAL soon.

QUOTE(southsideirish71 @ Sep 19, 2005 -> 10:57 PM) Well I wasted my time and money going to this f***ed up game. The first prize was sitting in front of a few indians fans, 3 teenage boys and their mother. The mother was the problem. She was so f***ing annoying. Then I watch Freddy s*** the bed. Big pitcher for big games my ass. Every pitch was up in the zone, and he was behind every batter. f***up number one is when Ozzie lets Freddy start an inning off later in the game after throwing over 100 pitches and just giving up a dong to hafner a few innings before. They were hitting line drives all over. I couldnt believe he used Jizzcan over Politte. That was f***up number one. Then he brings in marte. The annoying lady off course informed her kids, this guy has mental problems and cant throw strikes. Marte then s***s the bed. He has not been able to get lefties out at all this year. So ozzie lets him walk one, then give up a double and then leaves him in. Ozzie has no clue. Why is cotts not being used as the primary setup lefty. No we have the mental case doing this. Cotts at least gives you a shot. Why is Jizzcan in as our primary setup righty. What happened to politte. Politte, Cotts..........they've been getting it done all season, why the f*** should they be allowed to pitch in a pressure situation?!?! Think if Politte and Cotts were hispanic they'd be in there with it all on the line? Its happening again.