if this has been posted elsewhere, I apologize. These just made me laugh.

 

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story.../offbase/060329

 

My favorites include...

 

N.Y. YANKEES -- Owner George Steinbrenner followed up his posted notice apologizing to fans for the absence of third baseman Alex Rodriguez, shortstop Derek Jeter and outfielders Johnny Damon and Bernie Williams due to the World Baseball Classic by posting a notice to fans apologizing for the presence of right-handed pitcher Tanyon Sturtze on the roster. … A-Rod sat out Tuesday's game because he could not decide whether to wear the Yankees' home alternate jersey or their white pinstripe top because wearing either wouldn't be fair to his T-shirt.

 

SEATTLE -- The Mariners continued their strong Japanese presence by signing Iron Chef Morimoto as their team cook and middle reliever.

 

CHICAGO CUBS -- RHP Kerry Wood was struck by lightning while playing long toss. The Cubs listed him as day-to-day. … RHP Mark Prior was hit by a bus on the way to the ballpark. The Cubs named him their Opening Day starter.

 

COLORADO -- The Rockies announced Tuesday they are withdrawing from the National League. No one noticed.

 

HOUSTON -- The Astros are close to re-signing 43-year-old RHP Roger Clemens to a $10 million contract that will require him to only pitch weekday home games against the Pirates, Rockies, Nationals and Cubs in months with an "R" in them if the moon is full and his son is on the roster.

 

N.Y. METS -- First baseman Julio Franco missed Tuesday's game when he forgot where he placed his car keys. And his teeth. … The Mets cut 42 more players Tuesday, leaving them with just 81 on their roster heading into the final weekend of spring training.

HOUSTON -- The Astros are close to re-signing 43-year-old RHP Roger Clemens to a $10 million contract that will require him to only pitch weekday home games against the Pirates, Rockies, Nationals and Cubs in months with an "R" in them if the moon is full and his son is on the roster.

 

Lol, I like that one

QUOTE(jasonxctf @ Mar 29, 2006 -> 02:39 PM)

N.Y. METS -- First baseman Julio Franco missed Tuesday's game when he forgot where he placed his car keys. And his teeth. …

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

ROFL... Franco's on the Mets???

lool haha thanks for the link

Im cracking up

BALTIMORE -- In an attempt to boost attendance, the Orioles added "Women in Scoring Position Night" to their promotional schedule, with the first 10,000 fans 18-and-older eligible to sleep with Anna Benson.

HA!

Edited March 29, 200620 yr by G&T

SEATTLE -- The Mariners continued their strong Japanese presence by signing Iron Chef Morimoto as their team cook and middle reliever.

 

 

That was my favorite one as well.

 

Now if I can get the Food Channel to put Iron Chef back on at 10PM...lol

TORONTO -- The Blue Jays tested their new plumbing facilities in Dunedin, Fla., by having general manager J.P. Ricciardi flush $16 million down the toilet "just because I could."

The Reds one had me laughing the most.

The Reds one had me laughing the most.

same

That was my favorite one as well.

 

Now if I can get the Food Channel to put Iron Chef back on at 10PM...lol

No.

Alton Brown >>>> Iron Chef.

I do love Alton, but I was used to my schedule of seeing what odd ingrediant was on the Chef. Doesn't help that I hate what Adult Swim did to their schedule groan.