ANTWERP, Belgium (Reuters) - Mozart, an iguana with an erection that has lasted for over a week, will have his penis amputated in the next couple of days.

 

Veterinarians at Antwerp's Aquatopia had sought to treat the animal's problem, but decided removal was the only solution because of the risk of infection. The good news for Mozart and his mates is that male iguanas have two penises.

 

Mozart, sitting on the shoulders of his keeper as camera crews focused on his red, swollen erection, seemed unperturbed by the news.

 

"It doesn't bother him. He doesn't know what amputation means," said vet Luc Lambrecht, adding that Mozart's sexual activity should be undimmed by the operation.

 

 

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"I don't think so. That's all in his head."

I knew Cialis was right.

 

Call your doctor immediately if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours. Erections lasting more than 6 hours may result in permanent damage.

 

 

I wonder why iguanas have two penises. Sounds like weird hentai to me.

Don't worry, it'll grow back.

This entire thread is extremely disturbing to me.

Do you...have two penises...one of which is about to be chopped...because it's been erect...for a week?

 

I knew Cialis was right.

I wonder why iguanas have two penises. Sounds like weird hentai to me.

 

All snakes and almost all lizards have two penises, technically referred to as hemepenes. The alternate between them during successive mating events.

 

The very primitive and highly endangered New Zealand tuatara, the last surviving member of the relict sphenodontid family of lizards, is the exception to the two penis rule. It has no penis, instead using a muscular cloacal opening as a primitive intromittant organ.

 

Boy lizard junk is strang stuff. Not as strange as boy marsupial junk. In marsupials the testes are posiyioned anterior to the penis in all living representatives except the bandicoot. In laymans terms that means that the marsupial nutsack is teabagging the penis during copulation.

 

This has been another exciting edition of Ask Mr. Animal Sex.

All snakes and almost all lizards have two penises, technically referred to as hemepenes. The alternate between them during successive mating events.

 

The very primitive and highly endangered New Zealand tuatara, the last surviving member of the relict sphenodontid family of lizards, is the exception to the two penis rule. It has no penis, instead using a muscular cloacal opening as a primitive intromittant organ.

 

Boy lizard junk is strang stuff. Not as strange as boy marsupial junk. In marsupials the testes are posiyioned anterior to the penis in all living representatives except the bandicoot. In laymans terms that means that the marsupial nutsack is teabagging the penis during copulation.

 

This has been another exciting edition of Ask Mr. Animal Sex.

 

I was actually following all that

He's the Dr. of Love for a reason, folks.

I think the doctor that is doing the ampuation might be of oriental descent. I think that his name is

"Dr. Mehafta Soon Wacknchop"

I believe there are plans for reconstructive surgery. The iguana will be undergoing an adadictome later this week.

He's the Dr. of Love for a reason, folks.

Known as "Maurice" to his closest friends.

I would kill to be an iguana

 

DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE, DOUBLE YOUR FUN

I believe there are plans for reconstructive surgery. The iguana will be undergoing an adadictome later this week.

Tex! I thought my one-liner was good with the oriental doctor, but man........you did me in with yours. Still laughing as I type this. One of the best one-liners I've heard in quite a while. Had an extremely tough physical and emotional day at work today. NEEDED a good laugh. Got it ten-fold with your post. Thanks!!!

Known as "Maurice" to his closest friends.

 

'Cause he speaks, to the pompatisness of love

I would kill to be an iguana

 

DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE, DOUBLE YOUR FUN

Yeah, but for your purposes, you might want to remember this little bit of math: 2 x 0 = 0.

Tex! I thought my one-liner was good with the oriental doctor, but man........you did me in with yours. Still laughing as I type this. One of the best one-liners I've heard in quite a while. Had an extremely tough physical and emotional day at work today. NEEDED a good laugh. Got it ten-fold with your post. Thanks!!!

 

Recycled joke. But thanks.

I would kill to be an iguana

 

DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE, DOUBLE YOUR PEN'

 

Fixed.

You know what? If I ever write a childrens' book, I think the title will be Iguana's Stubborn Erection.

 

Yeah. I bet parents would just scoop that right up for their kids.

You know what? If I ever write a childrens' book, I think the title will be Iguana's Stubborn Erection.

 

Yeah. I bet parents would just scoop that right up for their kids.

 

If you don't like to play nice, we'll just chop it off.

If you don't like to play nice, we'll just chop it off.

 

Sort of like an old school Grimm's Fairy Tale.