Well, despite the fact that I'm 44, I've managed to get my g/f here in China pregnant. (Before someone advises her to get an abortion, I should add we're planning to marry in late September here in Wuhan. Unfortunately, my mother is 85 years old back in Iowa and won't be able to attend or even come here because she hasn't flown on an airplane since 1988 and doesn't have a passport and I think it would be too much for her).

 

 

She's 7 weeks along and we are going tmrw to the hospital to see the sonogram/ultrasound. Not even sure you can see or hear the heartbeat at that time?

 

Any advice?

 

We have a trip for 9 days to Thailand planned and she's worried about having a miscarriage...since the first 12 weeks are the most dangerous. She's concerned about being on a bus (we're renting a private car/driver) but we plan on mostly staying at a calm/peaceful/relaxing oceanside resort for at least five of those days and not spending too much time in the heat shopping in Bangkok.

 

Does anyone think it's not a good idea to go...other than the fact that she'll have to avoid spicy foods? She's already dealing with not being able to drink coffee (she's trying), not wearing make-up, not wearing high heels (worried about falling down or getting jostled on public buses), changing all her clothing/bras, no alcohol, avoiding being around cigarette smoke, etc.

 

I told her that as far as I can research, the highest odds for miscarriage/incipient abortion are from 2-12 weeks...and I can't prove for a fact that women are MORE likely to have a miscarriage the first time, although most women in China believe that...at any rate, I said the odds are 75-80% against it and that we just have to try to live our lives as normally as possible without worrying TOO much or being stressed out over every little thing.

 

Other than folic acid and pre-natal vitamins, anything I/we should be doing from your own experience/s?

 

She hasn't had morning sickness as of yet...just more burping/constipation, fever, constant hunger pangs, feeling tired and lethargic, she described it as feeling sick to her stomach but not able to throw up either. Peeing all the time. But I think the morning sickness period comes soon, doesn't it?

Edited July 10, 201411 yr by caulfield12

Congrats Caulfield. Only advise right now is listen to the doctor, the fun stuff comes later.

Congrats Caulfield. Only advise right now is listen to the doctor, the fun stuff comes later.

 

Sounds like the fun stuff already happened.

Sounds like the fun stuff already happened.

Yeah and now it's over, forever.

Yeah and now it's over, forever.

 

 

Trust me, I've had too much fun the last 9 years in Colombia, Thailand, Indonesia, the Philippines, South Korea, the Czech Republic and China.

 

Time to settle down and watch movies like "The Neighbors," haha. At any rate, the expiration date for being Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn or Will Ferrell from Wedding Crashers was already long overdue.

 

 

That said, it's quite the experience to be planning a second wedding (my first was in Russia and I only was involved in planning/organizing 10% or so) and getting ready for a child simultaneously. Plus, there's all these things like a solid stroller (cost in China is $1500, roughly), powdered milk (not safe in China), medicine for diaper rashes, etc., to buy and ship back while I'm in the US in August.

Edited July 10, 201411 yr by caulfield12

Yeah and now it's over, forever.

 

untrue. very untrue

Nice work, good to know it still works at that age!

 

I would just take all those questions to your doctor, but I don't see why you couldn't go on a trip, just as long as you take it easy like you say.

Nice work, good to know it still works at that age!

 

I would just take all those questions to your doctor, but I don't see why you couldn't go on a trip, just as long as you take it easy like you say.

 

 

Well, if you ever want to find bootleg Viagra or Cialis pills on the streets, Thailand or the Philippines are your place.

 

That said, don't buy them EVER because I've heard many older men have had heart attacks or bad reactions...seems like it happened every week in Thailand, you'd read about a foreigner dying under mysterious circumstances.

What? I cant imagine street viagra/cialis is unsafe. Thats UNPOSSIBLE

What? I cant imagine street viagra/cialis is unsafe. Thats UNPOSSIBLE

 

 

Nine times out of 10, it's men from India or the Middle East who are buying them. Guess they trust "street" Viagra more than Europeans/Americans/Canadians/Australians. Always ends up badly.

Trust me, I've had too much fun the last 9 years in Colombia, Thailand, Indonesia, the Philippines, South Korea, the Czech Republic and China.

 

Time to settle down and watch movies like "The Neighbors," haha. At any rate, the expiration date for being Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn or Will Ferrell from Wedding Crashers was already long overdue.

 

 

That said, it's quite the experience to be planning a second wedding (my first was in Russia and I only was involved in planning/organizing 10% or so) and getting ready for a child simultaneously. Plus, there's all these things like a solid stroller (cost in China is $1500, roughly), powdered milk (not safe in China), medicine for diaper rashes, etc., to buy and ship back while I'm in the US in August.

I have Neighbors although its called "bad Neighbors" and its has japanese subtitles. Right up your alley.

I have Neighbors although its called "bad Neighbors" and its has japanese subtitles. Right up your alley.

 

 

My g/f and watched it with Chinese subs, although her English is good enough to watch without.

 

We liked it, but it wasn't as funny (overall) as it was billed to be...and we liked Blended for the opposite reason, because we had zero expectations, so it was actually "not bad." While that's quite a low standard for comedies, it did actually have some pretty funny scenes.

 

Maybe I'm just not as big of a Seth Rogen fan as others. On the other hand, I can't imagine too many people out there have him as their #1/favorite actor/comedian in the world. Who knows, though, people are weird.

My g/f and watched it with Chinese subs, although her English is good enough to watch without.

 

We liked it, but it wasn't as funny (overall) as it was billed to be...and we liked Blended for the opposite reason, because we had zero expectations, so it was actually "not bad." While that's quite a low standard for comedies, it did actually have some pretty funny scenes.

 

Maybe I'm just not as big of a Seth Rogen fan as others. On the other hand, I can't imagine too many people out there have him as their #1/favorite actor/comedian in the world. Who knows, though, people are weird.

 

Aside from Seth Rogan feeling it necessary to remind everyone he's a jew in *every* movie, interview, or skit he's in, I find him somewhat funny, but that "I'm a jew" bit has really become annoying, and I'm starting to just not like him anymore.

My g/f and watched it with Chinese subs, although her English is good enough to watch without.

 

We liked it, but it wasn't as funny (overall) as it was billed to be...and we liked Blended for the opposite reason, because we had zero expectations, so it was actually "not bad." While that's quite a low standard for comedies, it did actually have some pretty funny scenes.

 

Maybe I'm just not as big of a Seth Rogen fan as others. On the other hand, I can't imagine too many people out there have him as their #1/favorite actor/comedian in the world. Who knows, though, people are weird.

I thought Efron and little Franco were pretty funny, but the black kid in the fraternity stole it for me.

Don't worry, you'll be the young age of 63 when they leave the crib.

I thought Efron and little Franco were pretty funny, but the black kid in the fraternity stole it for me.

 

 

 

Enjoy it when he/she turns 2. Holy crap what a trying time as a first-time parent (going through it right now).

Yeah, luckily we will have the huge assistance of my g/f (soon to be wife's) family, especially the mother...and her best friend.

 

So like four parents...especially when we're working, which is normal in China, no such thing as daycare really.

 

The current line of thinking is to spend at least 3-5 years in China to build all the pre-school skills in Chinese and English. I'm conflicted about living in a country like Singapore, but that's the most popular expat location these days because of the safety and standard of living...maybe continuing to teach in an international school and the child would have free tuition, which is probably the biggest factor with the cost of education these days, both abroad and in the U.S.

 

My international school now costs about $8000 USD per year....the one I taught at the previous two years (near Shanghai) was double that.

 

And, if you're married, the health care/delivery costs in China for a baby are practically zero.

Just noticed this thread. Congrats Caulfield and of course Mrs Caulfield-to be!

Not at all a parent here, but my anxiety for it centers around when they turn into little people. A baby? It might be trying, but it deserves your love and attention.

 

Then they turn into those brats I see at the grocery store and I don't know if I can take the aggravation....

Not at all a parent here, but my anxiety for it centers around when they turn into little people. A baby? It might be trying, but it deserves your love and attention.

 

Then they turn into those brats I see at the grocery store and I don't know if I can take the aggravation....

If you do your job well those brats at the grocery store are still other people's kids, not yours.

Enjoy it when he/she turns 2. Holy crap what a trying time as a first-time parent (going through it right now).

 

And then you pick them up from school and they run to you screaming "Daddy! Daddy" and all is forgotten.

And then you pick them up from school and they run to you screaming "Daddy! Daddy" and all is forgotten.

 

Yep. I tell people parenting is 70% awful, 30% amazing. But the 30% outweighs the 70% easily.

Yep. I tell people parenting is 70% awful, 30% amazing. But the 30% outweighs the 70% easily.

 

I get what you are saying, but using the word awful for 70% is a bit extreme IMO. I would more characterize the majority of it as hard work, not awfulness.

Yep. I tell people parenting is 70% awful, 30% amazing. But the 30% outweighs the 70% easily.

 

I think that means you're bad at math