Soxy

Annie Savoy: I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250... not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I've got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball -- now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball! Crash Davis: He did know. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: How? Crash Davis: I told him. Crash Davis: You just got lesson number one. Don't think, it can only hurt the ball club. Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Skip: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry! Larry: Lollygaggers! Skip: Lollygaggers Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Ooh, I've heard of stuff like this. Annie Savoy: Yeah? Have you heard of Walt Whitman? Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: No. Who's he play for?

I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Mar 16, 2005 -> 09:10 AM) I am not quite sure why an Amber alert hasn't been issued, but here is the story. http://www.nbc5.com/news/4289074/detail.ht...994&dppid=65172 IIRC Amber alert is also only used when they have a description of the alleged perp/vehicle/etc. That's why there wasn't one for that little girl in Florida that just vanished, I think...

What we have here is a failure to communicate. Coolhand Luke

From Norm Coleman--one of my least favorite Senators (although, he just gained some favor): Dear Ms. Soxy : Thank you for taking the time to contact me concerning Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) provisions being included as part of the fiscal year 2006 Congressional Budget Resolution. During consideration of the fiscal year 2004 Budget Resolution, I voted in support of the Boxer amendment to strip out a provision concerning ANWR drilling because I believe that the ANWR debate is a detour from the road we ought to be traveling if we want to maximize environmental protection, energy independence, and economic development dividends. I strongly believe the road to these dividends is renewable energy, including ethanol, biodiesel , wind, and even livestock waste. In the 108 th Congress I cosponsored legislation that would require an increasing portion of our U.S. energy supply to be met by renewable fuels, such as ethanol and biodiesel . One study suggests that this legislation would displace more than 1.6 million barrels of oil at a crucial time when foreign oil imports account for 56 percent of domestic oil consumption a figure expected to climb to a staggering 70 percent in the future unless things change. The same study indicates that this legislation would also reduce the nation's trade deficit by more than $34 billion, increase our gross domestic product by $156 billion, create more than 214,000 new jobs, expand household income by an additional $51.7 billion, and increase net farm income by $6 billion annually. With fourteen ethanol plants already having more than a half billion dollars in positive economic impact on Minnesota , imagine the impact on our State alone under this legislation. In short, renewable fuels offer a lot of promise a promise I want to help become a reality. I understand that those who support oil exploration in ANWR see it as an opportunity for economic development and energy independence, while those who oppose oil exploration in ANWR see it as important to environmental protection. Yet, while I support the important objectives of both sides, I happen to see renewable fuels and renewable energy as the optimal and most relevant way to advance all three. Please know that, as you request, I will keep your concerns in mind when ANWR issues come before the full Senate for a vote and that I value your advice. Thank you once again for taking the time to contact me. If I can be of further assistance to you in the future, please do not hesitate to contact me. Sincerely, Norm Coleman United States Senate

The Sears Tower. Never understood it.

QUOTE(Texsox @ Mar 15, 2005 -> 02:55 PM) I never have seen Ferris Me either.

QUOTE(FlaSoxxJim @ Mar 15, 2005 -> 02:26 PM) Thanks Tex - people need to sign onto as many of these as they can, make some calls (not you, Mr. Eye!! ) and keep this from getting slipped through. Indeed--I e-mailed it and the webpage of Senators Contact Info to everyone I know. And I e-mailed senators of all 3 states that I have an "address". Bwahahaha. The enviroment is one of the very few (and I do mean few) things that made my conservative dad vote democrat. But now it means I can call HIM a pinko-commie-liberal...

Hahaha, I read it anyway.

New breaking news: The Pope is Catholic! Wow, I just can't take any more surprises today!

QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Mar 15, 2005 -> 12:59 PM) LOL. WARNING Obscene joke to follow: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne stops bugging (or should I say buggering) you when you turn 18?

QUOTE(winodj @ Mar 14, 2005 -> 02:20 PM) Kelly Clarkson agreeing to appear on subsequent American Idol's for 1200 dollars. I bet Ruben Studdard wouldn't mind that money...

Awesome! Congrats!

I was having dinner with some grad students on Saturday--and two of us were talking about the fued between 50 and the game (both white girls) and we were calling him fiddy. Well, this boy that was with us goes, oh yeah, "I think I heard about that. Wasn't FifTY Cent also involved?"

This about sums it up.

Thought this might be kind of fun. I would pick either High Fidelity or (obviously) The Blues Brothers But I'd love to hear from everyone else.....

QUOTE(Chisoxfn @ Mar 13, 2005 -> 09:45 PM) Where did these pics come from? One of my friends e-mailed them to me. She got them from a lady at her work.

Check out these pictures....

Wow... Fla. Teen Breaks Johnson's 400 Record By BOB BAUM, AP Sports Writer FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. - Kerron Clement has struck down a world record held for a decade by one of the greats of track and field. And he's only 19. The Florida sophomore seemed as surprised as everyone else when he ran 44.57 seconds at the NCAA (news - web sites) Indoor track and field championships Saturday night, breaking the mark of 44.63 set by Michael Johnson (news - web sites) in 1995. It was the second phenomenal clocking by a U.S. teenager in the event this season, and both came at the Randal Tyson Track Center. A month ago, 18-year-old LaShawn Merritt of East Carolina ran a 44.93 — then the third-fastest time in the event's history — at the Tyson Invitational. But two weeks ago, Merritt signed a shoe contract with Nike and turned professional without ever running in an NCAA meet. That deprived the indoor championships of a big-time showdown, but Clement did just fine on his own. "He's been blessed by a wonderful ability by God — he chose the right parents," Florida coach Mike Holloway said. "He's an incredibly hard worker. If I get on him about something, he listens and goes out and tries to correct it." Clement was born in Trinidad and moved to the United States as an eighth-grader. He was a highly coveted track recruit at La Porte (Texas) High School, recruited by the big powers of the sport, including LSU, Texas and Tennessee. He said no to Baylor coach Clyde Hart, who developed Johnson and 2004 Olympic gold medalist Jeremy Wariner. After choosing Florida, the easygoing youngster wasted no time in making his mark. He won the NCAA championship outdoors in the 400 hurdles, then won the world junior championship in the same event, in meet record time. At the junior championships, Clement competed for the United States after earning his U.S. citizenship last summer. He probably could have gone to the Olympics for Trinidad and Tobago last year, but preferred to become an American. "I love competition and the U.S. has great athletes," he said. "I want to train with them and run with the best in the world." Clement considers himself a hurdler who happens to run the 400, an opinion that he said hasn't change even after the world record performance. Holloway said Clement will run mostly the hurdles in the outdoor season. "We were talking about that last week," Holloway said, "He said, `You know coach, I'm a hurdler. That's what I want to do. I like the 400, I love the 400 hurdles.'" Holloway saw Clement's 400 speed kicking into a new gear over the winter. "Back in February, he ran 46.1 in his opener, which was almost a second and a half faster than he ran last year," the coach said. "I told him if he was just patient, both of us together, I thought we could do something special." But Holloway never dreamed he'd be watching his star pupil break a world record a month later. The mark was even faster than Florida's outdoor school record of 44.66. Don't expect success to spoil him, though. Asked what he would tell the world about himself, Clement said, "I'm a down-to-earth kind of guy. I get along with everybody. I'm always a happy person. I've always got a smile on my face." After his emotional triumph Saturday, he came back and anchored Florida's winning 1,600-meter relay team. "It was very tough," he said, "but the team depends on me." Holloway said Clement's mother, Claudette, deserves the credit for the young runner's humility. "That's a testament to her because that's how she raised him," Holloway said. "I tease him all the time, because if he's late to practices, I say, 'I'm going to call your mom' and he's, 'Oh no, don't do that.'"

My favorite one is the one where Elaine is driving Paddy's car and finds out all of the radio pre-sets are Christian radio stations. The conversation the two of them have with the priest ALWAYS makes me laugh (even just thinking about it).

QUOTE(DonkeyKongerko @ Mar 10, 2005 -> 10:09 PM) http://media2.big-boys.com/torn.wmv It's not like any mime you've ever seen before. By the way he's part of Hollow Men which is premiering tonight on Comedy Central at 11:30. And he's pretty hot.

QUOTE(SoxFan1 @ Mar 10, 2005 -> 10:07 PM) I love you. I get that a lot.

QUOTE(RibbieRubarb @ Mar 10, 2005 -> 07:57 PM) Aww...I thought this thread was about Vaginas! Me too....

I saw The South Park Movie tonight after hearing about it unceasingly at school. I wish I had seen it earlier. It was hi-larious. Totally a funny and surprisingly well thought out movie. I liked it a lot.

I got invited to join Psi Chi (for psych), but I wasn't going to, I'd declined the other times I was invited. When I told my parents my senior year they told me I was and sent me a check (I refused to pay to be in a stupid honor organization). I got into grad school before I joined, so I don't think it will affect your life much if you don't. Other than the fact that you get sweet cords to wear at graduation.