Steff

Appearance wise.. I don't think Tiger Stadium could host a game. It's in bad shape..

2 teachers are discussing the school handbook in which the dress code was rewritten.. A veteran teacher says, "How can they say,'You may not wear thongs'. How can they tell us what kind of underwear we can wear????" The other teacher didn't say a word but sent an email to the Superintendent saying, "You may want to reword the handbook and say, 'You may not wear flip-flops' . Just a suggestion."

QUOTE(winodj @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 10:36 AM) Well after that post, now I'm sold. LMAO!!

http://www.usmarshals.gov/news/chron/15/lockhart.htm FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT: December 8, 2004 District of Northern Ohio Deputy Marshal Jeffery Irwin, (330) 351-0656 or USMS Headquarters Public Affairs, (202) 307-9065 Fugitive Attorney Flees Child Sexual Molestation Charges and is Added to U.S. Marshals 15 Most Wanted list Today U.S. Marshals joined a national search for an Ohio lawyer who fled the state just ahead of charges he raped an infant child. Local authorities asked the Marshals for assistance, and this morning the agency added John Dallas Lockhart’s name to their 15 MOST WANTED list. Lockhart, 36, is wanted on federal and local charges including three counts of rape of a victim under 13, three counts of gross sexual imposition, three counts of pandering obscenity of a minor and unlawful flight to avoid prosecution. The victim in all of the incidents was an infant. Lockhart fled Akron, Ohio, just days before charges were filed against him on August 13. According to Akron Police, about 100 pornographic photos were retrieved from Lockhart’s home/business computer when a software maintenance company was making a routine service call. The computer company immediately contacted Akron police. Investigators believe that Lockhart may have assaulted the infant victim, produced photos of the sex acts, and then stored the images on his computer. During the investigation, authorities learned he allegedly communicated with others who shared an interest in deviant sexual practices. Lockhart fled to New York when he found out the police had his computer. His whereabouts since then are unknown. If he is convicted of the pending charges, Lockhart faces a maximum punishment of multiple life sentences in prison. Lockhart is well-educated, lived briefly in England, and has traveled throughout Europe. He is described as a white male, 6’ tall, 185 pounds, with green eyes and brown hair. “This case is particularly disturbing due to the nature of the offenses,” said Cathy Jones, Assistant Chief Deputy U.S. Marshal in the Northern District of Ohio. “Lockhart should be considered a threat to the health and welfare of young children,” she said, “and anyone with information about his whereabouts should understand he must be apprehended. We need your help.” Lockhart’s name was added to the internationally famed “15 MOST WANTED” list after the detective bureau of the Akron Police Department sought help from the Marshals’ Northern Ohio Violent Fugitive Task Force (NOVFTF). Marshals are offering a cash reward for information leading to Lockhart’s arrest, and all information is kept confidential. If you have any information about John D. Lockhart, please call the U.S. Marshals’ national office at 1-800-336-0102 or the Northern Ohio Violent Fugitive Task Force at 1-866-4-WANTED. U.S. Marshals are the nation’s primary fugitive hunting organization and capture more federal fugitives each year than all other national law enforcement agencies combined. Four of the individuals on their 15 MOST WANTED list have been apprehended in recent months. For more information about the United States Marshals Service, please visit the web site at www.usmarshals.gov See also John D. Lockhart's Wanted Poster

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 10:01 AM) (repeat x4) He's not off the hook... I'll get him.. just when he least expects it.. Muuhhhaaaaa..

QUOTE(EvilJester99 @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 09:56 AM) Sabotage!!! Oh yea.. no doubt. Baj is a sneaky little sucker.. not to be trusted.

QUOTE(ChiSoxyGirl @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 09:49 AM) 5+25+1982 = 2012 1+2+2 = 5 Pretty accurate.... Jim's a 5 also Soxy.. way accurate for him as well.

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 09:50 AM) Its all about BMac now Pffttt... I think I am passing the 159 torch as well. Baj ruined it for me.

QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 09:34 AM) So, the game will start at 5:05 Seattle time? Kind of a wierd time, no? Why is it weird..? All night games start at 7:05 at Comiskey...

QUOTE(Brian @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 09:03 AM) Tanna annoys the hell outta me. Trump likes her though. She is smaaaarrrttt that's for sure. She would be a perfect fit. I tell ya.. I can not stand Craig.. he's is an idiot. I have no idea how he's stayed out of trouble. And he's got a nasty mouth.

Ugh.. opening day seems so long ago. Can't wait to get to the park tonight.

This is the private diary of a Viagra housewife... Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Day 2 Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed. Day 3 This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson's Column and burst into tears. Day 4 A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem'. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood. Day 5 What absolute bliss!! Day 6 Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that. Day 7 This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, have to admit it's very nice - I don't think I've ever been so happy. Day 8 I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there. Day 9 No time to write. He might catch me. Day 10 Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with neat whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over.... Day 11 I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a complete pig. Day 12 I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous... Day 13 Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again, I'll kill the [#@!$]. Day 14 I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more horny. Help me! Day 15 I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I told him to go and screw himself and he did. Day 16 The [#@!$] has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac. Day 17 Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference...Christ! Here he comes again! Day 18 He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!

QUOTE(Brian @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 08:47 AM) I'm pulling for Kendra, cuz she's cute. I was rooting for Tanna.. but last night she pissed me off.

QUOTE(Brian @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 08:47 AM) For what? For starting too many threads..

I'm a #9... which is so on target it's freaky.. Your birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing. To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date together, like in the example, until there is only one digit. A Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be, it will just color your choice differently and give you a little insight. Example March 20, 1950 3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973 1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20 2 + 0 = 2 Keep going until you end up with a single digit number. 2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in the example. #1 THE ORIGINATOR #2 THE PEACEMAKER #3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY #4 THE CONSERVATIVE #5 THE NONCONFORMIST #6 THE ROMANTIC #7 THE INTELLECTUAL #8 THE BIG SHOT #9 THE PERFORMER ================================================== ========== # 1 - THE ORIGINATOR 1 's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self- employed is definitely helpful for them Lesson to learn Others' ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded. Famous 1's Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch. #2 - THE PEACEMAKER 2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self- esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off. Famous 2's President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. # 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY 3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view. Famous 3's Alan Alder, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster # 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE 4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves. Famous 4's Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey # 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST 5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions. Famous 5's Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller and Mark Hail. # 6 - THE ROMANTIC 6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot. Famous 6's Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Merlyn Steep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn #7 - THE INTELLECTUAL 7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large. Famous 7's William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana # 8 - THE BIG SHOT 8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want. Famous 8's Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, GeorgeHarrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, and Nostradamus #9 - THE PERFORMER 9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation. Famous 9's Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley

He was fired last night.. and cried like a baby..

QUOTE(Brian @ Apr 14, 2005 -> 08:08 PM) BTW, with Steff starting all these threads, we should change this folder to "Steff, Lies, and Politics". Sorry...

QUOTE(witesoxfan @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 12:37 AM) I was not sure he was going to get a max contract before that...a big man that can't rebound? But with this heart condition, I'm not sure he will get anything close to a max contract now. The problem is that they don't know what, or if, there is a heart condition. I think he'll get the max.. just in case his ticker issue is a false alarm.

Congrats Kap.. Good luck!!

I still haven't seen this but from what I hear Shef didn't do anything wrong. One hysterical thing from this.. Mike & Mike have a bit of Terry F saying "I don't know" 5 times in response to his thoughts on it and they keep replaying it over and over again..

QUOTE(EvilJester99 @ Apr 15, 2005 -> 08:24 AM) And the same jock some woman on here would like to get close too as well..... I've passed the torch to the Neal fan club..

QUOTE(Jabroni @ Apr 14, 2005 -> 11:11 PM) I think I'd rather see Brian Anderson up here if it came down to it. Let Borchard raise his trade value in the minors so we can package him and Crede for a real 3rd baseman at the trading deadline. I'd rather see Ted's head up to bat..

Just gotta laugh.. calling a guy who's jock 90% of men couldn't get within 5000 feet of in a talent comparison... a loser.

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Apr 12, 2005 -> 08:31 AM) This is MLB trying to sell tickets in Detroit so they don't look like a complete joke during their all-star year. And they are hurting.. we bought the smallest package to get AS tickets out near the Pepsi deck.. already got upgraded to seats down the 1st base line and they expect that we will get be able to get behind the AL dugout.

1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant. 3. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank. 4. Long distance companies don't call you to switch. 5. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes. 6. Your rob Peter... and then rob Paul. 7. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change. 8. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment. 9. Your bologna has no first name. 10. You give blood everyday... just for the orange juice.