Texsox

your piss aim is off? Maybe it's time for a new urinal.

How about a couple examples of too young. I believe this is the standard.

Coming soon to a bar near you Hair Bangers Ball

carefull we have someone from homeland security watching . . .

I've done both. One thing that caught my eye was a study of the life styles of American multi-millionaires. Most drove their cars over 7 years. Depending on how you drive, miles, conditions, etc. a quality automobile should last 100,000 to 150,000 miles without too much major problems. You can put away some nice dollars after the car is paid off. It took me 20 years until I realized every finiancial decision could be made based on a lifetime time line. I think about the 2 year old cars I traded in because I got tired of them. I probably wasted $40,000 to $50,000 in my 20s by doing that. My friends probably were not impressed, and who cares about the neighbors. I doubt my clients worked with me because I drove a nicer vehicle then my competitors. Now that money could have grown and how would I like to have another $100,000 in the bank right now? A lot. That would move me 2 or 3 years closer to retirement.

Exactly what I was thinking. Unless this investment is instead of a trip to Vegas, spread out.

Thank you, I was hoping someone would recognize the plant.

How long of a period do you wish to invest for? Are you looking to use the money for retirement in 40 years, buy a home in 5, or vacation in Vegas in 4 months?

I just stumbled across a reference that shows the Cubs calling Cominsky Park home during the 1918 season. Wrigley was built in 1916, was this just for a few games, or what? Anyone know? It didn't list it as a split, it showed Cominskt as THE home field for the season. Did we disinfect it afterwards?

The Day is Coming...or maybe it's here... > Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..." > Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order." > Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?" > Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610." > Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?" > Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?" > Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir." > Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..." > Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." > Customer: "Whaddya mean?" > Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice." Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?" > Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it" > Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?" > Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion." > Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?" > Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99." > Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number." > Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit." > Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here." > Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn." > Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?" > Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward." > Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?" > Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it." > Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!" > Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop." > Customer: (Speechless) > Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?" > Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Cokeyour ad says I get with the pizzas." > Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics!"

By Rich Cholodofsky TRIBUNE-REVIEW Thursday, January 8, 2004 A Mt. Pleasant Township couple wants Wal-Mart to pay for foot and toe injuries they claim were caused by canned goods and condiments that tumbled from an overfilled plastic grocery bag. According to a two-count civil lawsuit filed Wednesday in Westmoreland County, Brenda and Ronald Sager contend a plastic bag they brought home from the East Huntingdon Township store last month was deficient and overstuffed. The bag, which contained a 32-ounce jar of Miracle Whip, a 46-ounce bottle of ketchup, three 15-ounce cans of fruit, an 18-ounce bottle of ranch dressing and a 12-ounce bottle of mustard, broke open when the Sagers returned home and started to put away their groceries. That's when the handle tore and the bottom of the bag broke, the Sagers claim. "... all of the contents of said small plastic bag immediately fell onto and struck the right ankle, foot and toes of the plaintiff, Brenda Sager," the lawsuit said. The 14-page complaint filed by attorney John Scales claims Brenda Sager suffered numerous injuries including cracked and damaged toenails. Brenda Sager also claims she sustained more serious permanent injuries and other physical problems, such as ligament damage and a broken right foot. The Sagers contend Wal-Mart was at fault for her injuries. The store, they claim, failed to properly instruct and train its employees to correctly bag products, negligently provided a defective bag, recklessly overpacked the bag by placing in it too many heavy items, failed to double- or triple-bag the purchases, and placed Brenda Sager in a "position of peril." She is seeking damages in excess of $30,000. Her husband also is seeking that amount in damages, claiming that as a result of his wife's injuries he has been deprived of her attention and comfort and suffered a loss of consortium. An official of Wal-Mart yesterday denied the accusations. Store co-manager Scott Kubica said Wal-Mart workers did nothing wrong and did not overpack the Sagers' bag. "Those bags are good for 10 or 15 pounds," Kubica said. There apparently is no industry standard for packing grocery bags, according to an official with the National Grocer's Association, a Virginia-based organization that operates an annual competition for grocery bagging. "Bags tend to be underpacked," said NGA staffer Karen Vorhees. In competition, baggers are judged on the speed in which they pack bags as well as weight distribution among the bags. Points are subtracted for broken bags. In their lawsuit, the Sagers said Wal-Mart should have made sure their bag didn't break. The store "failed to use two or three bags or whatever number of bags were necessary to accommodate the heavy items placed in said bag."

I guess this f***s up his chance of Father of the Year

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- A 49-year-old music teacher has been charged with having a sexual relationship with a boy she first seduced when he was 11 years old, authorities said. Carol Flannigan, a teacher at Rolling Green Elementary in Boynton Beach, was arrested Wednesday on six charges, including two counts of capital sexual battery on a child under 12. Authorities said the relationship lasted for 19 months. Flannigan had developed a close relationship with the boy and his family after he took her music class, inviting him and two younger brothers to sleep over at her Boca Raton home. The stepmother of the boy, now 13, asked Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office to investigate after finding sexually suggestive text messages on his cell phone Tuesday. After interviewing the boy, investigators listened in on a phone call the boy made to Flannigan in which she told him to continue lying about their relationship, according to an arrest report. Story here

I am so excited we signed a pitcher who is afraid to face the Yankees and BoSox!! That is the kick ass, take no prisoners attitude that wins divisions

The #1 fantasy for married women is two men at once . . . One cooking and one cleaning

Since we are gardening

I'll edit mine as well.

If we post only necessary stuff we would have cob webs on the server. None of this is necessary. Was it in good taste and within the boundries established over time? Probably. I don't think it was as bad as some of the other stories and pics we've had. Should we discuss advertising slogans?

yo jimmy hatz story Critics say it promotes teenage sex.

The rest of the story

Nuke, Aren't there volunteers who joined and in 6 minutes or 6 months knew it wasn't for them? You have soldiers now who don't want to be there, who are whining, wanting to go home. The military has a long history of effectively dealing with that. I spent a long time working near Great Lakes NAS, aka Great Mistakes, I know a lot of volunteers did not volunteer, they saw no other way out of their situation. They were told they would "see the world" and found the view from the boiler room looked the same in Hawaii as it did in the Ivory Coast. While volunteers are usually better, the screening process doesn't do a fool proof weeding out of the over the top mercenary types who are likely to get you shot and themselves. I know one young man who is leaving later this month for service. He has repeate,d over and over again, that the greatest thing is to die for your country in war. I tried to explain that the object of war isn't to die for your country but to make the other guy die for his. I fear at some point he's going to committ suicide by enemy fire. I doubt too many draftees would share that feeling.

For everyone who feels this is a "free country" and mandated service would be wrong, I have a question. Do you have any responsibilty to your country? A country that provides your safety, guarantees a safety net of food, clothing, and shelter, provides education opportunities, career opportunities, and more freedoms than have ever been enjoyed before? Is it a one sided arrangement? We all have a *right* to take; but no responsibility to give?

Did you noticfe it's never a beautiful woman? We have a beach area that is popular with nudists. A friend of mine worked for US Fish and Wildlife and it was his job to patrol the area. He concluded that you needed to be 50 pounds overweight to join their group.

I carry two cell phones. In side by side comparisons I can tell you Cingular is either perfect or sucks and Verizon is either perfect or it sucks. I'll be talking on one and having really bad connection, I'll hang up and call on the other phone and it's perfect.

I'm going to assume these don't come with nuts