November 4, 200322 yr Need some advice from the posters here at Soxtalk. Been dating this girl for maybe a month now, she's trying to get far too serious and I'm really not down for that at this point. I already miss going out with my friends to the bars each weekend and having a good time and meeting other girls. I do like this girl, I'm just not ready for anything serious. Question is this (for male or female posters), what's the best way to get out of this thing with the least amount of damage done to all?
November 4, 200322 yr Author Do you really like this girl? I dont think so... Not enough to be serious with her. I'd be fine with just casual dating, but she is trying to take things to another level, which I'm not in favor of at all. I don't see a compromise being worked out.
November 4, 200322 yr Coming from a woman's point of view. Be honest. And as soon as possible. Dragging things out never makes it better. If it's only been about a month it shouldn't be too bad, but keep in mind that polite doesn't mean easy from her point of view. If she is a rational person, she will probably be upset, but if it's only a month, the upset shouldn't last all that long.
November 4, 200322 yr Try to ignore her. It will get to one point where she will understand that you are not ready and dont want to get in a relationship.
November 4, 200322 yr Leave a message on her answering machine. Seriously, if you like her just tell her. Life is too short to be playing meaningless games. Say that things are moving too fast for you and that you do like her and would want to continue dating but you think that it would be best to slow things down. Let her know that going out with your friends is very important to you and the same with her and her friends. I know it's a lame old saying but honesty is the best policy.
November 4, 200322 yr you should wait a year to kiss her, buy her an expensive ring.... oh wait...dude, just let her know how you feel. I'm sure she's gonna want to work it out, and you never know how things will turn out. If she freaks then you're better off, but a brake check just might be the thing she needs. Who knows, you could be sending her some green light signals, which make her think things should be going quicker than you want. check yo' self that way when you do talk to her you're in the clear. whatever
November 4, 200322 yr Leave a message on her answering machine. Seriously, if you like her just tell her. Life is too short to be playing meaningless games. Say that things are moving too fast for you and that you do like her and would want to continue dating but you think that it would be best to slow things down. Let her know that going out with your friends is very important to you and the same with her and her friends. I know it's a lame old saying but honesty is the best policy. Rolf...my buddy broke up with his girl like that. It was pure comedy from my perspective. He calls her up and goes Ummm....its just not working out so I'll see ya around school or something. Later I am not kidding either
November 4, 200322 yr I'm with Rafcosta, ignoring the situation works. Gain the upper hand in the relationship. See her only when you want to. Only call if you want "something." Don't answer her calls. Caller ID is a great thing. Be seen with another woman.
November 4, 200322 yr Author I'm with Rafcosta, ignoring the situation works. Gain the upper hand in the relationship. See her only when you want to. Only call if you want "something." Don't answer her calls. Caller ID is a great thing. Be seen with another woman. I don't want to be hated. If at all possible, I'd like to retain the minimal chance of being friends. Ignoring her won't accomplish that.
November 4, 200322 yr I'm with Rafcosta, ignoring the situation works. Gain the upper hand in the relationship. See her only when you want to. Only call if you want "something." Don't answer her calls. Caller ID is a great thing. Be seen with another woman. I don't want to be hated. If at all possible, I'd like to retain the minimal chance of being friends. Ignoring her won't accomplish that. Not completely ingoring. It's called "intermitent reward". It's science. If a monkey learns that he can press a button and get a bannana, he'll press the button like crazy at first. But when he learns that a banana is coming every time he pushes the button, He only pushes it when he wants a banana. Conversly, if a monkey pushes a different button and sporadically get a reward, at undeterminable intervals, he will continually press the button. So you are asking yourself how does this apply to me. The girl is the monkey. You are the button. When she pushes you, be unpredictable. This is the difficult part. Sometimes you have to act like you really wanna see her, other times like you are just too busy for her. She'll keep at it. You'll remain friends, maybe more. Make sure you always have the upper hand and you won't need to get rid of her. Before you know it you'll have a bunch of monkeys asking for your banana.
November 4, 200322 yr I'm with Rafcosta, ignoring the situation works. Gain the upper hand in the relationship. See her only when you want to. Only call if you want "something." Don't answer her calls. Caller ID is a great thing. Be seen with another woman. I don't want to be hated. If at all possible, I'd like to retain the minimal chance of being friends. Ignoring her won't accomplish that. Not completely ingoring. It's called "intermitent reward". It's science. If a monkey learns that he can press a button and get a bannana, he'll press the button like crazy at first. But when he learns that a banana is coming every time he pushes the button, He only pushes it when he wants a banana. Conversly, if a monkey pushes a different button and sporadically get a reward, at undeterminable intervals, he will continually press the button. So you are asking yourself how does this apply to me. The girl is the monkey. You are the button. When she pushes you, be unpredictable. This is the difficult part. Sometimes you have to act like you really wanna see her, other times like you are just too busy for her. She'll keep at it. You'll remain friends, maybe more. Make sure you always have the upper hand and you won't need to get rid of her. Before you know it you'll have a bunch of monkeys asking for your banana. I pity any woman that dates you.
November 4, 200322 yr Not completely ingoring. It's called "intermitent reward". It's science. If a monkey learns that he can press a button and get a bannana, he'll press the button like crazy at first. But when he learns that a banana is coming every time he pushes the button, He only pushes it when he wants a banana. Conversly, if a monkey pushes a different button and sporadically get a reward, at undeterminable intervals, he will continually press the button. So you are asking yourself how does this apply to me. The girl is the monkey. You are the button. When she pushes you, be unpredictable. This is the difficult part. Sometimes you have to act like you really wanna see her, other times like you are just too busy for her. She'll keep at it. You'll remain friends, maybe more. Make sure you always have the upper hand and you won't need to get rid of her. Before you know it you'll have a bunch of monkeys asking for your banana. Good grief. Would it just be less stressful to just be honest? No wonder there are so many men balding earlier in life these days.
November 4, 200322 yr You could take a page from the George Costanza Dating Manual... Suggest a Three-way. That should be enough to scare off most women. Then again if she says ok, you probably are being too hasty breaking up with her. Again, not my advice. Blame George. Failing this, what the hell - try honesty.
November 4, 200322 yr Would you miss her if it ended? IF yes, don't f*** it up. If no, then just tell her. That is the wise thing to do. Now the thing I would do is just start to ignore her more and more. Start ignoring her small, then just get the ignoring more and more. That should help her to lose interest.
November 4, 200322 yr You could take a page from the George Costanza Dating Manual... Suggest a Three-way. That should be enough to scare off most women. Then again if she says ok, you probably are being too hasty breaking up with her. Again, not my advice. Blame George. Failing this, what the hell - try honesty. Yeah if she can't contact or see you, you are still technically goin out with her according to Georgie. Also think of Homer's advice. I think we should see otha ppl, I want to kill u but I can't, I am gay, u know stuff like that.
November 5, 200322 yr Ladies, I am a guy who, in most cases, treats women with the utmost respect. I have more female than male friends. I do not treat any of them like I suggested in my previous post. I just wanted to share that I'm not a complete asshole. Although , on occassion, when it behooves me, I am an ass. I'm not apologizing for this. I just didn't wan't the great women of this site to think that I had no respect for them. From what I have seen/read here so far, the women of this site are a truly great bunch. And one who's bad side I would not like to be on. Respectfully, The Cheat
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