ESPN STUDIOS - BRISTOL, CN - NFL senior vice president of public relations, Greg Aiello, announced at a press conference today that the NFL would begin to allow female players among their ranks. “Not only players, but Towel Girls, Water Girls, etc.,” Aiello stated.

“It’s been a long time coming,” said Aiello. “But after some back and forth we at the NFL have decided to spread open the flood-gates. Let’s give these ladies a test-drive.”

 

This decision has had an unexpectedly positive reaction from coaches and players alike.

 

Oakland Raiders Coach Norv Turner seemed positive about the idea. “I think it’s about time we took these fine, talented young ladies out to the field”

 

When asked about the diminishing numbers of female athletes who wish to play college football these days, Coach Turner replied “Nonsense. There are women clawing at each other to get into the NFL. Did you know we can draft them right out of high-school now? I can hardly wait.” He added that he intended to research several high-schools in Miami, New Orleans, Dallas, and San Diego.

 

When asked whether there would be equality issues within the team upon inclusion of females, or that the female presence would hinder the teams’ efficiency, Turner answered, “It will do absolutely nothing to hinder any team. From the battlefield to the showers they will be as one. A sweaty, well-lubricated physical machine. A force to be reckoned with.”

 

Future female NFL players just out of high-school are already said to have been meeting with teams and coaches, who are positive that women will be active on the field as soon as 2005.

Lets just assume for a second that a female player actually makes it to the NFL.

 

Does she share a locker room with the guys?

 

What happens when one gets run over by a hard-nosed saftey breaking half the bones in her body?

 

Just curious.

I think as long as he pays for dinner... he can brake a portion of her bones... but he's gotta make sure it's concentual. Think that s*** is funny? ask Kobe.

“It will do absolutely nothing to hinder any team. From the battlefield to the showers they will be as one. A sweaty, well-lubricated physical machine. A force to be reckoned with.”

 

shouldn't this be in green?!

shouldn't this be in green?!

Defenitely. Just ask Jessica ( I never cleaned my weapon so it jammed before I could fire one shot through it but I'm a hero anyway cause I made the news ) Lynch about women in combat.

“I think it’s about time we took these fine, talented young ladies out to the field”

 

I can say sooo many things about this comment but I'll be good..

I think as long as he pays for dinner... he can brake a portion of her bones... but he's gotta make sure it's concentual. Think that s*** is funny? ask Kobe.

this whole thing is meant to be in green right?

 

i mean come on

 

stop it

 

 

seriously

There's no way in hell that that's a real article. But thanks for posting it Texsox, it was pretty funny reading it.

this whole thing is meant to be in green right?

 

i mean come on

 

stop it

 

 

seriously

Like I said. I would love to see the look on feminazi's faces if a woman ever made it to the NFL then got all her bones broke in the 1st game.

There's no way in hell that that's a real article.  But thanks for posting it Texsox, it was pretty funny reading it.

fauxnews.com

 

I was wondering who reads the first line and hits reply and who reads the entire article.

 

Wanna buy a do it yourself vasectomy kit with a Popeil Pocket Fisherman

I just KNEW the Lingerie Bowl was going to prove something to the NFL.

 

I was wondering who reads the first line and hits reply and  who reads the entire article.

Actually, I read the whole article before I replied, but it just seemed like the article was made up. I mean, what's up with the whole Norv Turner comment with him saying that he can't wait to draft women players and how it's awesome that they can now draft them out of high school. I mean, come on. There's no way in hell any team drafts a woman football player, except maybe as a kicker. But, think of what would happen if she has to make a tackle. She'd probably get hurt and then people would be mad about a woman playing football and say it shouldn't have happened. Plus, if you were a guy playing would you want to have to hit a woman? I sure as hell wouldn't. The article just didn't seem well written either. But, I guess it's real, so i shouldn't have doubted you.

Shouldn't this thread have been saved til April 1?

Shouldn't this thread have been saved til April 1? 

f*** that. Were still waiting for the season to start for the sox. You think anyone would wait till April 1st to pull jokes?

"A sweaty, well-lubricated physical machine."

 

Well lubricated huh?

And with the 2nd selection in the NFL Draft, the Oakland Raiders select .....

And with the 2nd selection in the NFL Draft, the Oakland Raiders select ..... 

CHYNA.

CHYNA.

Chyna Pets would be all the rage in Oakland . . .