When did Bea Arthur turn into Phyllis Diller?

In Japan the hands are used like knives. But try doing this to a tomato?!?

I was just masturbating, but when i got done, i blacked out. I guess it really does make you go blind. (haha i had a concussion yesterday)

I was just masturbating, but when i got done, i blacked out. I guess it really does make you go blind. (haha i had a concussion yesterday)

Some things are better left unsaid.

 

Did anyone find you with your pants down and a little "mess" after you blacked out?

haha no...

http://legion.gibbering.net/misterx/troutw...ris&magic_param

http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb...layer_id=340392

 

Go to his Photo Gallary and look at the last one

http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb...layer_id=340392

 

Go to his Photo Gallary and look at the last one 

 

Timo suddenly looks like a porn star.

Here was the Christmas joke I came up with:

 

Do you know why they called it "Silent Night"?

Here was the Christmas joke I came up with:

 

Do you know why they called it "Silent Night"?

 

Because Stone Cold Said So

http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb...layer_id=340392

 

Go to his Photo Gallary and look at the last one 

 

Man, that is so bad.

Timo suddenly looks like a porn star.

Who runs that frickin website.

Here was the Christmas joke I came up with:

 

Do you know why they called it "Silent Night"?

 

Shut up, that's why.

Welcome to Monday. While rainy days and Mondays really get me down, my favorite Monday song comes from Bob Geldof and the Boomtown Rats

 

The silicon chip inside her head

Gets switched to overload,

And nobody's gonna go to school today,

She's going to make them stay at home,

And daddy doesn't understand it,

He always said she was as good as gold,

And he can see no reason

Cos there are no reasons

What reason do you need to be shown

 

Tell me why

I Dont't like Mondays

I want to shoot

The whole day down

 

The Telex machine is kept so clean

As it types to a waiting world,

And Mother feels so shocked,

Father's world is rocked,

And their thoughts turn to

Their own little girl

Sweet 16 ain't that peachy keen,

No, it ain't so neat to admit defeat,

They can see no reasons

Cos there are no reasons

What reason do you need to be shown

 

Tell me why ...

 

All the playing's stopped in the playground now

She wants to play with her toys a while

And school's out early and soon we'll be learning

And the lesson today is how to die,

And then the bullhorn crackles,

And the captain crackles,

With the problems and the how's and why's

And he can see no reasons

Cos there are no reasons

What reason do you need to die

 

The silicon chip ...

 

Tell me why ...

 

(Bob Geldof)

Something to think about:

 

 

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the

Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red

vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy

lives.

 

 

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and

Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And

Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some

sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

 

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that

Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and

sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size

14.

 

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented

Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

 

 

God then said, "I ! have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in

which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and

chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more

weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

 

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake,"

and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it

"Devil's Food."

 

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those

extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would

not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried

before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

 

 

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with

nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy

center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

 

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still

satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double

cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes!

And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into

cardiac arrest.

 

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

 

Then Satan created HMOs.

 

Thought for the day ......

 

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on

Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large

elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no

recollection of what to do with them. If you don't send this to five old

friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world

failed calc. in deep s*** wont be on for at least a week

failed calc. in deep s*** wont be on for at least a week

 

Einstein failed Art, try harder next time. Does your school offer any tutoring?

probably but im droppin the class i dont need it to graduate and i dont need another f. its my first f ever in a class

probably but im droppin the class i dont need it to graduate and i dont need another f. its my first f ever in a class

 

I can understand dropping. Think just for a minute about overcoming this little set back and passing. Could be a great experience.

When I was in Boy Scouts, someone once told me that you can't sweat in Nevada because there's no moisture in the air.  I didn't believe him at the time nor do I now, but there's always been that lingering thought in my mind that people just don't make up stuff that stupid.  Anyone care to finally prove him wrong (preferrably with first-hand experience)?

 

I've done some extreme hot weather camping and yes you do sweat, but it evaporates very quickly. Long sleeve light color cotton shirts and long pants help to hold in that persperation and keep you cooler, which is counterintuitive for most people who try and shed clothing. Keeping the sun off your skin is a good thing. Sweat comes from inside, not the air so dry air doesn't stop your body from sweating, it just determines how long it takes to evaporate off your skin or clothing.

Edited January 19, 200521 yr by Texsox

Member numbers??

 

Nuke is the 6th person listed having joined on soxtalk.com day 2. Yet he is member number 124? How??

Member numbers??

 

Nuke is the 6th person listed having joined on soxtalk.com day 2. Yet he is member number 124? How??

 

Yah that's bizarre, I joined a couple of days after him and have a lower member #.

Yah that's bizarre, I joined a couple of days after him and have a lower member #.

 

That's a Canadian exchange rate thing

Member numbers??

 

Nuke is the 6th person listed having joined on soxtalk.com day 2. Yet he is member number 124? How??

 

IIRC, there was something that happened when they switched from one board to another. They had something like 128 members at the time and the order of members reversed. So #1 was now #128, #2 was #127... #128 was #1.