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June Quotes of the Month.


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SNL Transcripts I love the information highway, thank you Mr. Gore.

 

Noblewoman: What a splendid party! I do believe everyone of any importance in England is here tonight.

 

Nobleman: Who would miss a party given by Lord Salisbury?

 

Butler: [ waiting at the door for guests to arrive ] Lord and Lady Wilkinson!

 

Lord Worcestershire: A marvelous entertainment, Salisbury! These chopped steaks are terrific, especially with this delicious mushroom sauce.

 

Lord Salisbury: Thank you, Coming from you, Worcestershire, that certainly is a compliment. [ turns to his guests ] Lord and Lady Wilkinson, welcome!

 

Lord Worcestershire: Tell me, Wilkinson, what the deuce is the purpose of two swords?

 

Lord Wilkinson: It's simple, really. Let's say you're an an attacker. My first blade straightens you upright, while the second clips you neatly at the ankles.

 

Lady Wilkinson: And there's Lady Wilkinson, for attacking your opponent's underarms and legs!

 

Butler: The Earl of Sandwich!

 

Nobleman: Tell me, have you seen Lord Cardigan?

 

Noblewoman: I understand he was turned away at the door..

 

Nobleman: Lord Cardigan? Why in heaven's name?

 

Noblewoman: He wasn't properly attired. Evidently, he came in a sweater.

 

Nobleman: Odd. I saw Lord Ascot, and he got in..

 

Butler: The Duke and Duchess of Argyll!

 

Lord Worcestershire: You know, Sandwich.. were the Sandwich Islands named after you?

 

Earl of Sandwich: Oh, no. Everyone asks me that, but I'm afraid nothing has ever been named after a member of my family.

 

Servant: Excuse me, your Lordship, but would you care for one of Lord Salisbury's steaks?

 

Earl of Sandwich: Yes, I would. Would you bring it to me with a couple slices of pumpernickel, please?

 

Servant: Yes. [ steps away ]

 

Butler: Lord and Lady Doucebag!

 

Lord Salisbury: Well, well, well.. I was just asking Lord Sandwich, "Where the devil are those Douchebags?"

 

Lady Doucebag: Well, it has been impossible to get him out of his workshop! He has been working day and night.

 

Lord Salisbury: You, Douchebag? Well, I wasn't aware you dabbled in that sort of thing. What in heaven's name are you working on?

 

Lord Doucebag: Well, I would be happy to tell you.. but perhaps after you have finished eating.

 

Lord Salisbury: Well, here is Chambers right now. Would you like something to eat?

 

Lord Doucebag: We're not too hungry right now - just a plate of raw vegetables.

 

Lord Salisbury: Would you like some dresing with that?

 

Lady Doucebag: Just some vinegar and water, thank you.

 

Earl of Sandwich: Douchebag, how are you? I haven't seen you in the House of Lords in ages! Don't tell me for the first time in memory we are going to have a House of Parliament without a Douchebag?

 

Lord Doucebag: My dear Sandwich, Parliament has always had its share of Douchebags, and it always will.

 

Lord Salisbury: Spoken like a true Douchebag. I have often heard the King speak of your family.. [ to Earl of Sandwich ] ..and of yours, as well: "Give me a Sandwich and a Douchebag, and there is nothing I cannot do."

 

Earl of Sandwich: Hear, hear!

 

Lord Salisbury: So, tell me, Douchebag.. when are you going to show us that invention of yours?

 

Earl of Sandwich: Yes, Douchebag, just what kind of an invention are you sitting on?

 

Lord Doucebag: Well, it's a long story. Why don't we go out to the garden, and I'll explain it to you.

 

Earl of Sandwich: Tell me - did Lady Douchebag help you in the project?

 

Lord Doucebag: Help? Why.. she was the inspiration!

 

[ they exit to the garden to discuss the wondrous invention ]

 

Butler: Lord Compost Heap and Lady Disinfectant Cake!

 

[ fade ]

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QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Jun 19, 2005 -> 03:43 PM)
Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but that woman's quote makes it sound like they saw the whole thing develop and let it continue. "We were just laying on the deck watching him...."

 

 

QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Jun 19, 2005 -> 03:51 PM)
That's exactly what it sounds like.

"Hey honey get some popcorn, I'll get the blanket, I think the wierd neighbor boy is finally gonna drill the dog".

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QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Jun 24, 2005 -> 08:09 AM)
Congrats to two awesome posters, a couple of cornerstones on Soxtalk :cheers

 

 

QUOTE(TheDybber @ Jun 24, 2005 -> 10:25 AM)
What SS2k5 is saying:

What SS2k5 is thinking:

 

Yeah, add your post counts together and you still don't add up to SOUTHSIDER2K5!

 

Congrats kids!!! :cheers

 

Soxtalk to English Dictionary

 

Post Count = Southsider

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I just copied this from the first page and agree. One of the best things I've ever read on this site. PS I volunteer to take the housewives from Naperville out for a night on the town. one at a time, ladies.

 

QUOTE(JimH @ Jun 4, 2005 -> 01:05 PM)

OK, I have read the whole thread. Actually I think it's one of the better threads recently.

 

Commentary on the thread

 

1. Attendance is a legit topic to discuss. There is a direct correlation to revenue vs. what the White Sox spend on payroll. They run the team as a zero sum operation and have increased payroll steadily. Steff knows all the numbers by heart.

 

2. I disagree with bashing the guy who started the thread. Yes, the topic is somewhat worn out but so is Timo bashing, Crede bashing, Ozzie bashing, etc. Since everything is fair game on this site, so is discussion of attendance.

 

3. For the "you don't go to games so you have no right to b**** about attendance" crowd: B.S. He brought it up for discussion vs. b****ing about it. Everybody has their reasons for going or not going to games. We are all fans. Anything about the franchise is fair game to discuss. Maybe this guy goes to Sox road games in California. Part of the gate always goes to the visiting team anyway. It's a very small portion but that is the case.

 

4. b****ing about attendance (if he is indeed b****ing) is no different than b****ing about anything. He presented the argument very well, to say he isn't entitled or qualified to b**** about attendance is ludicrous. The same goes for all of you who b**** about Timo ad nauseum, what makes you qualified to b**** about that? Because you are a fan, and it's a relevant topic to the Chicago White Sox. Stop the elitism crap. I have probably been to more Chicago White Sox games in my lifetime than almost everyone here, save for Steff and quickman and possibly a few others. When I didn't live here I went to their road games (Anaheim and Milwaukee) and traveled in whenever I could. Attendance and lack thereof has been an issue since I can remember and that dates to the mid 1960's.

 

How to Increase Attendance

 

1. First of all it will not be an overnite thing. Attendance is on the upswing as Mike stated in his post. IMO the casual fan is beginning to notice (rediscover?) the White Sox. People like to do the "in" thing. The Sox are becoming more "in" but this never changes overnite. It took the Cubs 20 years to become the "in" thing (from early/mid 60's to the mid 1980's). The PR people need to keep pressing forward and doing the promotions they do. Over time it will make a difference.

 

2. Continue redeveloping the neighborhood. I grew up there. There's a mistaken impression about Bridgeport, people hang onto old stories and draw conclusions. Talk to some housewives in Naperville, they think Bridgeport is a slum. Then take them to a few establishments in Bridgeport and watch them go "wow ... this is not that bad, this is kinda nice". Word of mouth is very powerful. They are cleaning up Halsted St. big time, that will help.

 

3. The White Sox and local establishments should aggressively joint venture. The Sox should promote the neighborhood spots, and vice versa. Example: on the back of every ticket they have a Dunkin Donuts promo. Why not rotate it with a promo for the neighborhood places? "Take your ticket stub to Ricobene's within one week of this game date, get $3 off a pizza." Get the fans out into the neighborhood and they will see it's safe and a nice area to hang out. The establishments in Bridgeport need to press this with the White Sox and the White Sox need to be more open to this idea. Embrace the neighborhood.

 

4. Continue the focus on marketing to kids. Have even more kids promotions. Fundamentals is a good start, community outreach is a good start. Promote the players at kids events, there are millions of kids activities in Chicago. The White Sox should partner with those organizations more than they do.

 

5. Do special promos for the upper deck and stop treating it like a red haired step child. Give upper deck people a coupon for concessions, more special meal deals, etc. Market the upper deck to community newspapers. I can't remember the last time I saw a Sox promo piece in my local newspaper.

 

6. Market the Club Level to the swankier audience. It's a marvelous place to sit, they need to promote it to the higher end audience. Chicago Magazine is a good place to start.

 

7. Continue the crackdown on idiots at the ballpark in terms of fighting, abusive behavior, etc. Make it known that idiots have to pay consequences, put out a press release when some assclown goes to jail for starting a fight at the ballpark. Reinforce that the Chicago White Sox support a friendly, safe environment. Have fun at the ballpark, kick back a few beers and enjoy yourself but don't get out of line. If you do, you are not welcome here. This supports families going to games. And it makes moms feel safer, a very important factor because we know that moms and wives have significant say so in terms of the entertainment $$.

 

8. Have more raffle drawings, i.e. Lucky Seat winners. Give away stuff from places in the neighborhood. Not at all hard to do. Show your ticket stub at Guest Relations and win a gift certificate if your name is called. Or, have a Lucky Row contest. They do this in Tucson and the whole row wins a pizza. Makes the game more fun and it's good PR for the franchise and the establishment.

 

There are a lot more ideas but that's a start. Another thing they should do is "personalize" the players more. Boyer is trying to do this. Many of these guys are really nice and their personalities would resonate with White Sox fans. Let the fans get to know the players a bit more. Lots of ways to do this.

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IMHO, this is a perfect example of the posts that make this place such a great place to talk White Sox baseball. Balta defines "best" which helps to clarify his point. He does a little research and backs is opinion. He also answers those that have taken a different approach in the meaning of "best" and concedes that if that is the definition, that the other posts are also close to being correct. No insulting others who think differently. :cheers :notworthy

 

I know I learned a little something. I also know why a few non White Sox fan boys are still promoting Paulie for the AS game.

 

QUOTE(Balta1701 @ Jun 25, 2005 -> 02:09 AM)

Because of the way the question was phrased...who is the "Best" offensive player, the only answer that is possible right now is Paul Konerko.

 

Right now, Konerko is 15th in the big leagues with 52 RBI's.  No one else on the Sox is even in the top 30.

 

Konerko also leads the team in runs scored, with 44...Pods is a close 2nd at 42, but the same guy is leading in runs scored and RBI's.

 

Now, on top of that, this is not even the first year for Paulie to lead the team in the 2 main offensive categories; he was 10th in baseball last year with 117 RBI's, and 3rd on the team with 84 runs scored (although both Podsednik and Dye scored more runs last year.)

 

If the question was "Who is the most valuable offensive player"...that's a much different question, because it takes into account speed, timely hitting, etc, and Everett, Rowand and Pods become factors, but in terms of simply who the best offensive player is, it's hard not to say it's the guy leading the team in runs scored and driven in.

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From the Sick Poll Thread

 

QUOTE(Antonio Osuna @ Jun 26, 2005 -> 12:03 AM)
I would dump any girl who didn't cheat on me if it meant preventing the Cubs from winning the World Series.

 

 

Spoken like a true Sox fan :gosox1:

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From the look back at the last couple months thread...

 

QUOTE(Jordan4life_2005 @ Jun 29, 2005 -> 02:22 AM)
This thread proves why absolutely none of us should,  ever,  ever,  ever,  ever,  ever,  ever,  ever,  ever think about getting into the gm business.

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QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Jun 29, 2005 -> 08:02 AM)
From the look back at the last couple months thread...

ss , why do you hate all the armchair GM's? :P We are just all men past 21 (who gave up on their sports career dreams as a kid and can relate better with 50 year old gms.) You can call them our adult rolemodels , Idols ect. lol

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Awesome one right here from the July Wallpaper thread:

 

Knighti

They look a little like they wanna kiss one another.  :wub:  :ph34r:  :lol:

 

 

Soxnbear01

not with carl everett on the same team

 

 

:lol: :headbang

Edited by SoxFan1
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