I see that Kenny Rogers and Freddie Garcia are available too

Kenny Rogers is a Boras client.

Kenny Rogers is a Boras client.

 

And looking for one last big contract according to the rumor mill...

And looking for one last big contract according to the rumor mill...

And strangely enough, he wants to sign said contract using some sort of tar from a pine tree...

For starters, Colon's shoulder is shot, meaning the 93-96 MPH fastball he had when he was with the Sox is likely down to 82-92 MPH territory, and he just won't get by on that.

 

That's not true.

 

As far as Clement... yeesh, at least he 'bit the dust' after he signed that reasonably nice deal with Boston. He hasn't pitched for the better part of two years. What happened to him anyways? Elbow issues? Shoulder problems?

That's not true.

 

As far as Clement... yeesh, at least he 'bit the dust' after he signed that reasonably nice deal with Boston. He hasn't pitched for the better part of two years. What happened to him anyways? Elbow issues? Shoulder problems?

He tore both the rotator cuff and labrum in his right shoulder.

Just IIRC, when Bartolo came back, his fastball was almost right where it was beforehand.

Yeah, he had some pretty good outings late in the season for the Angels. I have no idea how his health is but for 5M you could make far worse signings. I'd be all over picking up Bartolo and moving Garland/Contreras for other stuff with the plan being to have Colon in there as a 4th starter with Danks battling Floyd and than when/if Bart goes down you have your other young guys who slide in. Use Garland/Contreras to just load the team with young position players/starters (as well as some more good young arms that can pitch in the rotation or pen).

 

It won't happen but I'd be all about it (plus signing Hunter of course).

I'd rather see them bring back manos to play the role of utility infielder, if we're digging into the alumni bag.

[/color]I've heard they are close to signing him but his agent is balking at what his agent's calling the "Cheeto's Clause" that Kenny wants to include in the contract. It reads something like, "If Mr. Colon (hereafter referred to as "Fat Ass") is found during the season (meaning: from the date pitchers and catchers report to spring training until the last day of the World Series) consuming, inhaling or even touching a product made by the Frito-Lay or Hostess companies, the entire amount of his salary for that year (minus the cost of the product in question) must be donated to a charitable organization whose mission it is to fight obesity among major league pitchers and/or American children.

I've heard they are close to signing him but his agent is balking at what his agent's calling the "Cheeto's Clause" that Kenny wants to include in the contract. It reads something like, "If Mr. Colon (hereafter referred to as "Fat Ass") is found during the season (meaning: from the date pitchers and catchers report to spring training until the last day of the World Series) consuming, inhaling or even touching a product made by the Frito-Lay or Hostess companies, the entire amount of his salary for that year (minus the cost of the product in question) must be donated to a charitable organization whose mission it is to fight obesity among major league pitchers and/or American children.

 

 

I knowww what website someone came frommmm...