June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (CanOfCorn @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:05 PM) I don't think Colon will accept that role and will ask to be released. And that would be just fine.
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (NorthSideSox72 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:07 PM) And that would be just fine. Is that because he is so fat...when he steps on a scale, it says, "One at a time, please?"
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (santo=dorf @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:03 PM) Contreras and Hafner look like Shrek. Colon looks like Andre the Giant Hafner looks like Donkey... Here's the Colon/Shrek comparison...
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (JPN366 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:16 PM) Hafner looks like Donkey... Here's the Colon/Shrek comparison...
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (chw42 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 10:06 PM) White Sox Not Supplying Enough Food for Colon Joe Cowley - Chicago SunTimes Rumor has it that Bartolo was not happy with the post-game buffet selection as of late. It seems like only one turkey was not enough as he has always been given two earlier this year as well as with Boston last season and with the Angels the season before that. Bartolo reiterates that if he does not get enough to eat, he will pitch a crappy game. Ozzie Guillen begs to differ. "If that fatass thinks he can f*** around and ask for more food, I'm going to send him back to Venezuela where the kids have to eat lima beans. Alexei's already starving, maybe I should send him to Cuba", said the angry Manager after Colon's second subpar start in a row against the Cleveland Indians. Former backup catcher Corky Miller also addressed the situation. "When I was still here, Bartolo and I were great eating buddies. We'd eat everything together and see who could eat more in eating contests. But when they DFA'd me for Castro, Bartolo felt lonely. Ramon Castro is no eater compared to me. Even though he couldn't understand me and I couldn't understand him, I feel like as if eating has its own universal language." Team captain Paul Konerko thinks that Bartolo is totally being selfish. He also stated that even when he was in the middle of depression last season due to him hitting .200 for the majority of the season, he watched his weight and did not start eating just because he was sick of himself. Konerko also stated that Bartolo's weight problems could be because of his long depression over the years. Ever since his injury in 2006, Colon has put on much more weight. The White Sox brought up left handed prospect Aaron Poreda to fill Colon's spot in the rotation. Don Cooper was overjoyed at this move by Kenny Williams. Cooper went on to say the following: "Bartolo was a hassle to work with. He constantly grew hungry during workout sessions and refused to do any kind of conditioning. He also didn't speak much English so I didn't know what I was going to do. Now I'll actually work with a kid that has some good stuff along with knowledge of the English language. The best thing is that he doesn't weigh 300 pounds." Colon is now on the White Sox DL and has a very bleak future. Will he go into professional eating or just eat the rest of his life until he dies of obesity? Time will tell, but right now, it looks like the White Sox were plenty tired of Bartolo's selfish hunger for more turkey legs. NOTE: THIS IS NOT REAL. Awesome... Man hes fat. You think if we poured some bar-b-que sauce on D-Wise that Fatboy would eat him. That would eliminate two problems. Colon would go to jail, and Wise cant hit .160 from Colons belly.
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (letsgoarow @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:22 PM) Awesome... Man hes fat. You think if we poured some bar-b-que sauce on D-Wise that Fatboy would eat him. That would eliminate two problems. Colon would go to jail, and Wise cant hit .160 from Colons belly. The Onion had a piece about Prince Fielder and C.C. Sabathia trying to eat each other last year.
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (chw42 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:27 PM) The Onion had a piece about Prince Fielder and C.C. Sabathia trying to eat each other last year. The funniest thing I ever read on the Onion was an article about how Craig Counsell was the best baseball player of the last decade or so because of steroids.
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (NorthSideSox72 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:01 PM) He's clearly not healthy, and its not his knee either. He's not throwing right, he's not got any real velocity, he's protecting the arm to last as long as possible. If he returns from the DL, he needs to show he can throw with some speed, and then he's a bullpen guy, not a starter. It could be his knee. If he can't drive with his back leg, he isn't getting velocity. If his bad knee is his land leg, he might not be pushing as hard because the landing hurts, so he isn't getting his full velocity that way either.
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (santo=dorf @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:02 PM) Do you believe he is legitimately hurt somewhere? Yes.
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 02:32 PM) It could be his knee. If he can't drive with his back leg, he isn't getting velocity. If his bad knee is his land leg, he might not be pushing as hard because the landing hurts, so he isn't getting his full velocity that way either. I'm relieved it's not his shoulder. He was great in that start in Anaheim. I think he can be like that again.
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (Markbilliards @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 01:37 PM) I heard he was going to the DL for starvation. He hasn't eaten since breakfast. this is one of the funniest things i've read in a long time
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (shipps @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:42 PM) This thread needs more fat jokes...then I would really laugh....more fat jokes cause it never gets old,ever. Its so original. sorta like dick and fart jokes. (Ironically, my Facebook status is about dick and fart jokes)
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (Markbilliards @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 03:37 PM) I heard he was going to the DL for starvation. He hasn't eaten since breakfast. I still chuckle whenever I see your avatar.
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (santo=dorf @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 02:02 PM) Do you believe he is legitimately hurt somewhere? It wouldn't surprise me, but I'm not convinced. It's awfully coincidental that Colon has been been struggling, is expendable, and Poreda is just about ready for his major-league debut.
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (CanOfCorn @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 04:09 PM) Is that because he is so fat...when he steps on a scale, it says, "One at a time, please?" I can't believe I have to get involved in this look-a-like conversation. Any Simpsons fans out there think Bartolo looks like the Springfield Goofball?
June 9, 200916 yr QUOTE (yoyozuna @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 03:54 PM) I can't believe I have to get involved in this look-a-like conversation. Any Simpsons fans out there think Bartolo looks like the Springfield Goofball? Dude, it's the Capital City Goofball.
June 10, 200916 yr QUOTE (Balta1701 @ Jun 9, 2009 -> 06:02 PM) Dude, it's the Capital City Goofball. I am sick to my stomach for my mistake. You are absolutley correct.Thanks for the correction.
June 11, 200916 yr I can't imagine that this is an actual injury. I think this is more about giving him some Contreras-esque time to work his stuff out.
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