My theory would be that she doesn't want you to lose weight because then you would be able to get a girl hotter than her.

And/or it just makes her feel guilty about the way she looks herself...

Yeah you guys hit the nail on the head. Women and their irrational insecurities.

Im so fixated on this girl its impossible to think. My mind is seriously warped at this point.

 

lol

 

The worst part is Ive known her for a few months, just didnt realize how awesome she was. Cant tell what the situation is though, shes got a boyfriend or something, has never really mentioned him much and he doesnt live here.

 

So basically Im worthless at this point as I pretty much cant go 5 minutes without thinking about her.

 

Ruh roh

Im so fixated on this girl its impossible to think. My mind is seriously warped at this point.

 

lol

 

The worst part is Ive known her for a few months, just didnt realize how awesome she was. Cant tell what the situation is though, shes got a boyfriend or something, has never really mentioned him much and he doesnt live here.

 

So basically Im worthless at this point as I pretty much cant go 5 minutes without thinking about her.

 

Ruh roh

Where do you see her? Work?

Yeah you guys hit the nail on the head. Women and their irrational insecurities.

 

Obviously I can't speak to your particular relationship, but it's not an entirely irrational thought. She sees the kind of girls that fit, athletic guys are with, and she knows she isn't any competition for them. And lets face it, even if you would never cheat on her with those girls, you are imagining what they look like naked.

 

You need to reassure her that you are losing weight for health reasons and that it doesn't change the way you feel about her one single bit. Also let her know that while you would encourage any person you love to try and become healthier, your love for her is not conditional on her doing so.

 

I was in a similar situation. When my wife and I met we were both extremely overweight. She has lost 90% of the weight that she needs to and I've lost only about 30%. I was initially very worried that she might be looking to upgrade.

 

She is a friend. She moved from another state a few months ago and she randomly became friends with another girl I am friends with and has been going out with us to concerts/bars/etc.

 

So this wasnt like when I immediately saw her I went insane, just the more I hung out with her the more I started to like her and then last week she made a comment and we started talking and it just was amazing how much we have in common. She said things that I think about, that are just kind of off the wall ideas and it was intellectually meaningful.

 

And then I was like f***, Im really messed up about this girl now. Good news is that most of my friends are behind this, the bad news is I dont feel like bothering them and being like "You need to make sure she comes out tonight" lol. So now its like a countdown to Friday (50/50 Ill see her) and then trying to read the situation, because it will be the first time Ive seen her since then.

Edited July 9, 201312 yr by Soxbadger

Im so fixated on this girl its impossible to think. My mind is seriously warped at this point.

 

lol

 

The worst part is Ive known her for a few months, just didnt realize how awesome she was. Cant tell what the situation is though, shes got a boyfriend or something, has never really mentioned him much and he doesnt live here.

 

So basically Im worthless at this point as I pretty much cant go 5 minutes without thinking about her.

 

Ruh roh

 

You're sprung. Unfortunately, there is no easy solution. Maybe go on dates with other women to see if you can strike gold? If you mess around with her just be very careful.

Obviously I can't speak to your particular relationship, but it's not an entirely irrational thought. She sees the kind of girls that fit, athletic guys are with, and she knows she isn't any competition for them. And lets face it, even if you would never cheat on her with those girls, you are imagining what they look like naked.

 

You need to reassure her that you are losing weight for health reasons and that it doesn't change the way you feel about her one single bit. Also let her know that while you would encourage any person you love to try and become healthier, your love for her is not conditional on her doing so.

 

I was in a similar situation. When my wife and I met we were both extremely overweight. She has lost 90% of the weight that she needs to and I've lost only about 30%. I was initially very worried that she might be looking to upgrade.

 

I think we all like to think of ourselves as noble but I really hope I do feel this way when the time comes. We men are truly physical creatures and can be distracted by beautiful women.

 

It's sad that we always look to upgrade.

Edited July 9, 201312 yr by pettie4sox

She is a friend. She moved from another state a few months ago and she randomly became friends with another girl I am friends with and has been going out with us to concerts/bars/etc.

 

So this wasnt like when I immediately saw her I went insane, just the more I hung out with her the more I started to like her and then last week she made a comment and we started talking and it just was amazing how much we have in common. She said things that I think about, that are just kind of off the wall ideas and it was intellectually meaningful.

 

And then I was like f***, Im really messed up about this girl now. Good news is that most of my friends are behind this, the bad news is I dont feel like bothering them and being like "You need to make sure she comes out tonight" lol. So now its like a countdown to Friday (50/50 Ill see her) and then trying to read the situation, because it will be the first time Ive seen her since then.

You are overthinking the s*** out of this....next time you see her, an hour or so into the evening, just tell her you really enjoyed talking with her the last time you saw her and ask for her phone number.

You are overthinking the s*** out of this....next time you see her, an hour or so into the evening, just tell her you really enjoyed talking with her the last time you saw her and ask for her phone number.

Right, before seeing her just remember that she probably likes talking to you more than the other people too. It makes things move forward without pushing.

I think we all like to think of ourselves as noble but I really hope I do feel this way when the time comes. We men are truly physical creatures and can be distracted. beautiful women.

 

It's sad that we always look to upgrade.

Well and with women, if they start to workout like crazy and starts buying new clothes you know shes either currently cheating or is going to. So she probably has that same mindframe.

Stop being such a p****, Badger! Get those digits, bury that ass!

I over think what Im going to eat for lunch, its what I do. Paralysis of analysis!

 

But lol thanks for the tip, I know you guys (Rock, Steve, Shack) have a way with the ladies so I may just go for the simple direct approach.

 

Almost did it the last time I saw her but decided with a more humorous "Next time maybe youll get my number". (It made sense in the context)

Edited July 9, 201312 yr by Soxbadger

I over think what Im going to eat for lunch, its what I do. Paralysis of analysis!

 

But lol thanks for the tip, I know you guys (Rock, Steve, Shack) have a way with the ladies so I may just go for the simple direct approach.

 

Almost did it the last time I saw her but decided with a more humorous "Next time maybe youll get my number". (It made sense in the context)

At some point she'll get sick of waiting. Casually ask for her digits and come armed with an idea of a date to possibly set up. Also, bring a box of Magnums just in case.

Ok does she or does she not have a boyfriend? If so, how serious are they?

Ok does she or does she not have a boyfriend? If so, how serious are they?

As for your predicament, the answer is simple. You need to talk to your significant other and explain that you are determined to get in better health (don't say "to lose weight"). This includes eating better and being more active - and it's something you'd like for her to join you in (losing weight/being active with your sig other can be a great treat). If she's not open to this, or standoffish, or ridicules your thinner physique, then as long as you're not married then it's time for you to find a new woman.

 

No one should try to keep you from doing something to better yourself, and that goes 10x over for the person with whom you're supposed to be closest.

Im pretty sure she currently has some long distance boyfriend so I think its a little more of a delicate situation than just seeing her next time and going:

 

So about your phone, I need its number...

 

But maybe I should embrace the doucheness of my youth and not care about the fallout that is caused by my actions. Life used to be so much simpler then.

 

I think the immediate focus is just on seeing her again.

 

(Edit)

 

Does she have a boyfriend?

 

My answer to that would be, allegedly. Ive never seen him and the only time shes ever mentioned him it was in what I consider an odd fashion and no one else I know can really give me a straight answer on the situation either.

Edited July 9, 201312 yr by Soxbadger

Im pretty sure she currently has some long distance boyfriend so I think its a little more of a delicate situation than just seeing her next time and going:

 

So about your phone, I need its number...

 

But maybe I should embrace the doucheness of my youth and not care about the fallout that is caused by my actions. Life used to be so much simpler then.

 

I think the immediate focus is just on seeing her again.

 

(Edit)

 

Does she have a boyfriend?

 

My answer to that would be, allegedly. Ive never seen him and the only time shes ever mentioned him it was in what I consider an odd fashion and no one else I know can really give me a straight answer on the situation either.

 

Just tell her you enjoy talking to her and ask...if she says she has a boyfriend, apologize and say you weren't sure about that before you asked her, but figured it'd be better to find out this way than to spy on her for such personal information and end up in Venezuela like Edward Snowden. I'm sure she'll understand.

Yeah just go for it. You aren't a young buck anymore. You won't get ridiculed because you got rejected by say chick is that happens. You're seriously infatuated with girl right now and the only way to figure out if it's warranted is by asking for information.

As for your predicament, the answer is simple. You need to talk to your significant other and explain that you are determined to get in better health (don't say "to lose weight"). This includes eating better and being more active - and it's something you'd like for her to join you in (losing weight/being active with your sig other can be a great treat). If she's not open to this, or standoffish, or ridicules your thinner physique, then as long as you're not married then it's time for you to find a new woman.

 

No one should try to keep you from doing something to better yourself, and that goes 10x over for the person with whom you're supposed to be closest.

 

I agree with you, since it's a work a progress, I won't be able to find out whether or not she'll respond positively or negatively until then. I just felt like it was a red flag when she said that she liked my gut. Yeah... different strokes for different folks.

Just tell her you enjoy talking to her and ask...if she says she has a boyfriend, apologize and say you weren't sure about that before you asked her, but figured it'd be better to find out this way than to spy on her for such personal information and end up in Venezuela like Edward Snowden. I'm sure she'll understand.

Yeah, if there is no ring on the finger, it isn't really your concern whether she has a boyfriend or not, unless of course he shows up and you see him in person. Let her deal with whether she wants to tell you she has a boyfriend or not

I agree with you, since it's a work a progress, I won't be able to find out whether or not she'll respond positively or negatively until then. I just felt like it was a red flag when she said that she liked my gut. Yeah... different strokes for different folks.

 

Maybe she was just being nice and saying I like you just like you are now.

Maybe she was just being nice and saying I like you just like you are now.

 

I don't doubt that. However, her insecurities in asking me why I am working out and what will happen when I lose weight are suspect.

I don't doubt that. However, her insecurities in asking me why I am working out and what will happen when I lose weight are suspect.

 

They can be, but that depends how the discussion went with you. She might feel you're getting back into shape to leave her/trade up to someone society might deem "better", simply because they're in better shape. I'm a bit surprised you can't see how she might feel that way...

I agree with you, since it's a work a progress, I won't be able to find out whether or not she'll respond positively or negatively until then. I just felt like it was a red flag when she said that she liked my gut. Yeah... different strokes for different folks.

Wait - was that it? "I like your gut just the way it is!"

 

If that's the case, she may just want you to know that she likes you for who you are and you don't need to change for her. A constructive conversation must be had.