Yep, best to come clean and start over. I've talked about it felt like I cheated once upon a time and dated the same girl again, and it happens in other relationships too. It's not a move that comes highly recommended for trust in each other.

 

There's about a 75% chance that you really shot yourself in the foot, a 24% chance that you can still, at the very least, date this Santeria chick for about a year before you get tired of her, and a 1% chance you can get back with your original girl. You still need to come clean nonetheless because living with that amount of guilt will bring unnecessary tension and terrible vibes to the relationship.

 

Why do we do things that we know will have terrible consequences?

Why do we do things that we know will have terrible consequences?

 

There are about a zillion different reasons for self masochism. I would say addictions, boredom, and fear are probably your biggest 3 reasons.

 

Unless of course this was asked tongue in cheek.

Not tongue in cheek. It was a legit question. I am telling her now. Of course it's not going well.

 

Oh well.

It was never going to go well

From 2 girls to 0 - the one you cheated on is better off without you, but you manned up and came clean. You clearly weren't ready for a monogamous relationship. Everyone learns from the situation and you move along.

Breaking two girls hearts in a week. You can definitely say I've learned a valuble f***ing lesson.

Breaking two girls hearts in a week. You can definitely say I've learned a valuble f***ing lesson.

Lesson being don't cheat and expect to get a relationship out of it? Come on man, you knew what would happen going in.

Breaking two girls hearts in a week. You can definitely say I've learned a valuble f***ing lesson.

 

Next time don't listen to these "man up" tards and just keep your mouth shut. And then, if you've legitimately learned something, don't do it again. Ever. It's ok to learn from your mistakes and just keep silent about something like that. Coming clean did nothing good for anyone involved. Not you. Not her. And not the other her. Nobody won, everybody lost. It didn't make you feel better, it didn't make them feel better. Manning up, as some put it, accomplished absolutely nothing.

 

You could have learned from your mistake, and moved on without hurting or potentially losing the one you actually cared about, and never repeated such a mistake. While there shouldn't be a next time, if you truly learned, if there is...just stifle yerself, Edith.

I think people who cheat are scum.

Next time don't listen to these "man up" tards and just keep your mouth shut. And then, if you've legitimately learned something, don't do it again. Ever. It's ok to learn from your mistakes and just keep silent about something like that. Coming clean did nothing good for anyone involved. Not you. Not her. And not the other her. Nobody won, everybody lost. It didn't make you feel better, it didn't make them feel better. Manning up, as some put it, accomplished absolutely nothing.

 

You could have learned from your mistake, and moved on without hurting or potentially losing the one you actually cared about, and never repeated such a mistake. While there shouldn't be a next time, if you truly learned, if there is...just stifle yerself, Edith.

I was going to suggest he say nothing until he mentioned he drilled her.

 

I dunno, would you want to know if your wife drilled some other dude, even if it was just once?

I was going to suggest he say nothing until he mentioned he drilled her.

 

I dunno, would you want to know if your wife drilled some other dude, even if it was just once?

 

No, unless she was doing it over and over, didn't care, and wasn't sorry about her mistake. If she was legitimately sorry, and learned from it, I'd have to say there are things better left unlearned. Learning of this infidelity would accomplish nothing. It wouldn't make me feel better, and it wouldn't prevent her from doing/not doing it again. It would fix nothing, and hurt everyone.

No, unless she was doing it over and over, didn't care, and wasn't sorry about her mistake. If she was legitimately sorry, and learned from it, I'd have to say there are things better left unlearned. Learning of this infidelity would accomplish nothing. It wouldn't make me feel better, and it wouldn't prevent her from doing/not doing it again. It would fix nothing, and hurt everyone.

 

And yet, if you come out, admit right away that you did it, admit that it was a mistake and you don't know why you did what you did, there is still some room for growth and a chance that the relationship can withstand it, especially if there is enough deep, emotional caring between the two and there was just a falling out of some sort. If he holds it in and tells her after 5 or 10 years, how is she going to trust that he hasn't been keeping anything else from her during all that time? At that point, it gets easier for him to lie and withhold information from her that is relevant to her, and that will drive a stake into their relationship anyways.

 

Telling her hurts NOTHING except the spirit short-term. If they were meant to be together (as cheesy as this sounds), then they will fight through it and they will end up back together. If not, then this proves to be a great learning experience for him.

 

Telling them both was the best thing to do for all involved, even if it's incredibly painful.

And yet, if you come out, admit right away that you did it, admit that it was a mistake and you don't know why you did what you did, there is still some room for growth and a chance that the relationship can withstand it, especially if there is enough deep, emotional caring between the two and there was just a falling out of some sort. If he holds it in and tells her after 5 or 10 years, how is she going to trust that he hasn't been keeping anything else from her during all that time? At that point, it gets easier for him to lie and withhold information from her that is relevant to her, and that will drive a stake into their relationship anyways.

 

Telling her hurts NOTHING except the spirit short-term. If they were meant to be together (as cheesy as this sounds), then they will fight through it and they will end up back together. If not, then this proves to be a great learning experience for him.

 

Telling them both was the best thing to do for all involved, even if it's incredibly painful.

 

Make sure you queue up some lovely song at the end of this tale of complete fiction. Life isn't "The Notebook", or some other sappy tale of love meant to be. I'd rather not know if this happened to me, for the sake of keeping my family intact...because once that sacred trust is broken, sorry or not, it will never be the same again.

 

The only way I'd want to know is if it was going on over and over again. I wouldn't want her to tell me in hopes we can "fix" that breach of trust...because it couldn't be fixed...ever. So telling me, or others, accomplishes nothing. The only thing it is, IMO, is a weak attempt to 'absolve' your sins, to make yourself feel better about it. It does nothing for anyone else.

Make sure you queue up some lovely song at the end of this tale of complete fiction. Life isn't "The Notebook", or some other sappy tale of love meant to be. I'd rather not know if this happened to me, for the sake of keeping my family intact...because once that sacred trust is broken, sorry or not, it will never be the same again.

 

The only way I'd want to know is if it was going on over and over again. I wouldn't want her to tell me in hopes we can "fix" that breach of trust...because it couldn't be fixed...ever. So telling me, or others, accomplishes nothing. The only thing it is, IMO, is a weak attempt to 'absolve' your sins, to make yourself feel better about it. It does nothing for anyone else.

 

OK, that's fine...I'm just saying from personal experience, it did work for me. It wasn't the exact same scenario, but I was dating the girl for another 8 months and, had I had my s*** together a bit better, it would have gone on a lot longer than that.

 

If you would prefer not to know, that's your own thing, We'll just agree to disagree. But calling those who asked for him to come clean "tards" is probably not appropriate either.

I am on probation with my girlfriend for whoever cared to know what happened. Keeping my mouth shut would have certainly been the path of least resistance but I'm glad I came clean. I actually read witesoxfan's post about the benefits to nipping it at the bud. For those who have never seen a 1% chance hit, well here it is.

 

Thanks for the advice all.

 

Good night!

Probation? That's pretty vague.

Probation? That's pretty desperate of her.

Most women would make you hit the bricks. She must really want you around.

Most women would make you hit the bricks. She must really want you around.

 

She might very well still tell me to go kick a can down the road.

I think people who cheat are scum.

 

Boom! Been on the bad end of it and its BS. Would rather a girl just break up with me.

 

If petite was 22 or 23, I could understand his mistake, but 27? Grow up man. You were even consious of it enough beforehand to come on here and tell everyone it may happen.

Boom! Been on the bad end of it and its BS. Would rather a girl just break up with me.

 

If petite was 22 or 23, I could understand his mistake, but 27? Grow up man. You were even consious of it enough beforehand to come on here and tell everyone it may happen.

 

Age doesn't really correlate to maturity or life experience. You are right to say I knew that it wasn't going to end well yet I pursued it anyway. I can be a real knucklehead sometimes and think that "that would never happen to me" but guess what it did and it was a harsh dose of reality that will be with me the rest of my life.

 

The most important thing is to learn from your mistakes IMO.

I am on probation with my girlfriend for whoever cared to know what happened. Keeping my mouth shut would have certainly been the path of least resistance but I'm glad I came clean. I actually read witesoxfan's post about the benefits to nipping it at the bud. For those who have never seen a 1% chance hit, well here it is.

 

Thanks for the advice all.

 

Good night!

 

Just be weary of this situation. If she needs time, give her that, but you need to make sure she isn't constantly holding this over your head or using it as leverage, otherwise it will ruin your relationship.

 

This is about the best possible outcome for you right now, given the f*** up. It will still take a lot of time before your relationship is ever back to where it was. Mine didn't start getting "normal" again for about a month, and even then there were weird parts of it (but I was constantly getting in my own way).

 

This is not an easy situation to recover from, but it is certainly possible.

I am on probation with my girlfriend for whoever cared to know what happened. Keeping my mouth shut would have certainly been the path of least resistance but I'm glad I came clean. I actually read witesoxfan's post about the benefits to nipping it at the bud. For those who have never seen a 1% chance hit, well here it is.

 

Thanks for the advice all.

 

Good night!

 

A get out of jail free card? You lucky bastard!

Just be weary of this situation. If she needs time, give her that, but you need to make sure she isn't constantly holding this over your head or using it as leverage, otherwise it will ruin your relationship.

 

This is about the best possible outcome for you right now, given the f*** up. It will still take a lot of time before your relationship is ever back to where it was. Mine didn't start getting "normal" again for about a month, and even then there were weird parts of it (but I was constantly getting in my own way).

 

This is not an easy situation to recover from, but it is certainly possible.

 

I agree wholeheartedly. I will give her time and space to decide what she needs. The healing process begins.

A get out of jail free card? You lucky bastard!

 

She could still very well leave me. I consider this a "I'll think about phase" more than "We're back together".

I will be the jerk here. Was the sex good