They can be, but that depends how the discussion went with you. She might feel you're getting back into shape to leave her/trade up to someone society might deem "better", simply because they're in better shape. I'm a bit surprised you can't see how she might feel that way...

 

I can see how she might feel that way but I just don't think it's warranted. Granted, I can't tell someone how to feel but I don't think guilt tripping on my health habits is the way to go.

 

Steve it was more of a "Why are you losing weight, I like your gut you're like a teddy bear!" I'm tired of being overweight so I am doing something about it. If she wants to remain as is, that's her right to do so. It's also her right to be insecure about it, finally it's my right to be frustrated with that.

Edited July 9, 201312 yr by pettie4sox

I can see how she might feel that way but I just don't think it's warranted. Granted, I can't tell someone how to feel but I don't think guilt tripping on my health habits is the way to go.

 

Steve it was more of a "Why are you losing weight, I like your gut you're like a teddy bear!" I'm tired of being overweight so I am doing something about it. If she wants to remain as is, that's her right to do so. It's also her right to be insecure about it, finally it's my right not to be frustrated with that.

 

Yea, I can now see exactly why she's insecure about it based on how you just answered my questions.

 

Retract the claws, tiger. We were just asking.

I met my current girlfriend when she had a long distance boyfriend. I instantly became infatuated with her (I am prone to do this) and when I found out she had a boyfriend I was sick. All the hyperbole came to mind, this is the final straw, the perfect woman for me is unavailable, nothing is meant to be, yada yada. Anyway, we still had enough mutual friends that we got to know each other better and it became readily apparent that this long distance relationship was a highly dysfunctional one.

 

I would suggest that you get to know her, make it clear that you're interested in her, and see what happens. If this boyfriend business is true, she'll probably be somewhat coy about whether or not she is interested in you. If you play it slowly and just enjoy the friendly/intellectual part of your relationship, she'll be able to better process her level of interest and how that affects her current boyfriend situation. If she wants to get down, I can't say not to do it, but be ready for those privileges to get revoked after a little bit when boyfriend finds out and they have to actually break up.

 

Now, that doesn't mean things will be easy for you if you find out that maybe this long distance guy is expendable. After I more or less accelerated the end of their relationship, I had to back out for a while. This can go with different degrees of smoothness, but you want to really kindle the flames when she has recuperated from the end of her current relationship. Try to avoid being the target of her angst if/when she has second thoughts about her current breakup (I think everyone has a stage after a breakup, no matter what the situation, where they second guess the decision). You don't have to be out of the picture completely per se, but you probably wouldn't want to be chomping at the bit to get (back?) into bed with her; in my opinion, even if she offers post-breakup I'd hesitate to reciprocate. Don't be the rebound.

 

Anyway, I'm probably skipping too far forward. Just talk to her, continue to enjoy her company as you have previously, but from now on make it obvious that you're interested. See where that goes, the boyfriend stuff may well be negotiable in the end. I'm a grad student so I see these long distance relationships everywhere between classmates and professors so I'm projecting my past experiences/observations a bit.

Yea, I can now see exactly why she's insecure about it based on how you just answered my questions.

 

Retract the claws, tiger. We were just asking.

 

I simply said it's her right to do whatever but I have a right to be frustrated with excessive insecurities. If she feels like I'm gonna leave her because I get in shape than I question our foundation from the get go.

Jake,

 

First of all thanks, just reading other peoples stories can sometimes give me insight that I may overlook when I get to deep into a situation. I have been on the other side of the coin, I know its a delicate. Which is obviously not great for someone like me who is constantly replaying every time Ive ever seen her to try and get some sort of clearer picture on whats going on.

 

But obviously this is a long con, which is why at this point Im just trying to get the pieces in the right places to start. Good news for me is that a lot of my friends are really into this idea and want to make it happen. Better news is some random girl (well shes a friend of a friend, but first time I met her) basically pulled me aside and was like "You and that girl are amazing together blah blah blah", so Im not the only one seeing it, which leads me to believe that there is actually something there.

 

Gotta be delicate though lol, which is why Im doing hilarious things like walking past her building after court just in case I happen to bump into her....

 

Sometimes you gotta make your own breaks.

Jake,

 

First of all thanks, just reading other peoples stories can sometimes give me insight that I may overlook when I get to deep into a situation. I have been on the other side of the coin, I know its a delicate. Which is obviously not great for someone like me who is constantly replaying every time Ive ever seen her to try and get some sort of clearer picture on whats going on.

 

But obviously this is a long con, which is why at this point Im just trying to get the pieces in the right places to start. Good news for me is that a lot of my friends are really into this idea and want to make it happen. Better news is some random girl (well shes a friend of a friend, but first time I met her) basically pulled me aside and was like "You and that girl are amazing together blah blah blah", so Im not the only one seeing it, which leads me to believe that there is actually something there.

 

Gotta be delicate though lol, which is why Im doing hilarious things like walking past her building after court just in case I happen to bump into her....

 

Sometimes you gotta make your own breaks.

At the end of the day if you have chemistry and things in common it becomes easy to advance things without actually proactively doing it. For example if you have something of interest in common, just suggest doing that together, it could be tennis or something random. Theres less pressure and if things click things will happen naturally. My wife and I just started dating because we loved hanging out with each other.

Badge, when in doubt, whip your dick out.

Badge, when in doubt, whip your dick out.

 

She will have Gob's look on her face

Badge, when in doubt, whip your dick out.

 

this.

 

being delicate never got anyone anything.

 

and i'm being serious.

 

although maybe stop just short of actually whipping it out.

 

this.

 

being delicate never got anyone anything.

 

and i'm being serious.

 

although maybe stop just short of actually whipping it out.

 

Get a big boner and grind on her, I've heard girls absolutely go crazy over this

Get a big boner and grind on her, I've heard girls absolutely go crazy over this

It worked in high school....

It worked in high school....

it really did didn't it?

 

oh the good ole days...

Well if wite suggests it there has to be merit.

 

I guess Ill just go with wardrobe malfunction and say something like:

 

"Its fricking cold, are you just going to stand there?"

 

Its just good manners to help a guy out in a situation like that.

Well if wite suggests it there has to be merit.

 

I guess Ill just go with wardrobe malfunction and say something like:

 

"Its fricking cold, are you just going to stand there?"

 

Its just good manners to help a guy out in a situation like that.

 

just make sure it's not TOO cold...

just make sure it's not TOO cold...

 

Step 1: Get ranging boner

 

Step 2: Pants "accidentally" fall off

 

Step 3: Results

 

 

Step 1: Get ranging boner

 

Step 2: Pants "accidentally" fall off

 

Step 3: Results

 

I'm 87% sure that CAN'T go badly.

it really did didn't it?

 

oh the good ole days...

Really seemed to. So did the "they will hurt if you dont do it"

As a caveat, do not prematurely ejaculate, as I have heard girls laugh at you when you do this and do not return phone calls afterwards.

As a caveat, do not prematurely ejaculate, as I have heard girls laugh at you when you do this and do not return phone calls afterwards.

Especially while you're grinding up against them before the pants come off. This is frowned upon.

Especially while you're grinding up against them before the pants come off. This is frowned upon.

Ive done that before, it actually helped me out, she thought it was cute.

 

Now I was 15 at the time....

Get a big boner and grind on her, I've heard girls absolutely go crazy over this

 

Pettie, you sound like the girl in your scenarios

 

So you're saying men get insecure? I'm sure it happens yes but usually not on the level of women. ;-)

Step 1: Get ranging boner

 

Step 2: Pants "accidentally" fall off

 

Step 3: Results

 

Step 1: Cut a hole in a box

 

Step 2: Put your junk in that box

 

Step 3: Make her open that box

 

Step 4: Profit?

So you're saying men get insecure? I'm sure it happens yes but usually not on the level of women. ;-)

 

lies and slander.

 

you keep thinking that.

Reading far too into it, is what I mean.

 

LMAO you're probably right. I'll just keep doing me and see what happens. Hopefully it's not a big deal.