The girls at my "other site" are sharing and a few of them were too good not to share...
One evening my husband & I were at a video store. It was just before closing and we were the last ones in the store. He'd come up next to me, rip a silent stinker and walk away leaving me to gag in his funk. He must've done it 10 times while we were in there. I think we had bean burritoes or something of that nature as I was gassy too, but being modest I don't fart in public. However I had the need to, but was holding it in. Anyways we rent a movie and finally head outside. As soon as the door closed behind us I reached back grabbed my buttock, raised my leg and let loose with a THUNDEROUS blast of gas. While yelling at him to "Choke on that!" At which point I noticed a van parked right next to me full of people LOL @ me..... oh the shame
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Oh, I have one that makes me want to die when I think back on it.
I used to work for Clinique and this old lady wanted to try some fingernail polish that we had on display. It was an old bottle and was hard to open, it was like it was superglued on. I couldn't open it and neither could she. There was a couple at the other end of the counter that another girl was waiting on. The old lady asked me to "go see if that young man will open it". So I went over to him, he was kind of standing behind his girlfriend so I didn't get to really look at him. Anyway, I asked "will you see if you can open this?" and honest to God, he had ONE arm.
Needless to say everyone was embarrased, I almost started crying and wanted to die.
******
I think one of the worst for me was when I joined some friends to see a local comedian who was opening at the Icehouse for Lily Tomlin. As we walked up to the Icehouse from the parking lot, a friend of ours was standing with the comedian.
He introduced my husband to the comedian who shook his hand and said turning to me, "And you must be a little something for after the show."
I glared daggers.
We then went inside where our other friend was sitting at a table with a few people and a woman I'd never seen before. I thought she was our friend's date.
Friend 1 said we had met the comedian outside and friend 2 said, "Oh, what did you think of him?" And I piped up and said, "I think he's the rudest f*n bustard I've met in a long time".
And friend 2 said, "oh." and gesturing to the woman next to him, "I'd like you to meet his wife."
