The Sir

Frankly, your behavior in this thread, and pretty much everywhere else I've interacted with you, suggests it is accurate. Take it for what it's worth.

I earned a master's that qualified me for a higher paying position but I have not yet been hired into one of those positions. Should I assume that nobody is willing to give me a chance or that meritocracy never existed? I suppose I could but it wouldn't do me any good. Focus on controlling what you can control. I don't think I or the other people in this thread have been dropping hints. Me, BDB, Tony, we've been pretty damn direct. Don't gloat about your intellect. Don't whine about your situation. Don't play the victim card. Take responsibility for your actions, your failures, your everything- own your life. Focus on you. You can't control if some douchebag likes or doesn't like people with autism, but you can control whether you are a likable human being or not. We are witnessing things that you do and giving you friendly advice on how to adjust it. In your own words, you are "annoying". Well, I see that, and if you had any interest in listening, I see objective ways that you can reduce that particular trait. Take it or leave it, but don't act like these things persist just because nobody's direct enough with you. We're being direct with you. This is the internet and maybe that means we don't really know you. Maybe this is a persona you put on in a forum to vent, therapeutically. Personally, I'm hard pressed to envision a person coming here with as staunch and hard-line viewpoints as you have, and the attitude you have, and having some completely different personality/attitude in the "real world". I'd be shocked if you didn't have a reputation in your workplace as bitter and a bit of a whiner. It might be that nobody confronts you about it, but I strongly suspect they feel it and it affects your career path. Maybe I'm wrong.

This is actually a respectable post. Now, this is still going to rule out some jobs for you and it's not necessarily unintentional bias. If I manage a bank, do you think I want a guy who gets so nervous in social situations that the only bearable position is to stand there with his arms crossed? You could explain that to me in an interview and I'd be understanding, but you couldn't explain it to every single customer you deal with. And this would develop the wrong reputation for my branch, so I'd probably look elsewhere. There are jobs that are likely off limits to me, even. I'd love to do something like air traffic control, and I think my mind is organized and methodical enough to be good at it. But the psych standards are high- I refuse to identify myself as a depressive, but I do have that history. Would I plow a plane full of passengers into the ground because I'm having a bad day? Of course not. I'm not totally fucking insane. And I even got over that shit. But they still likely wouldn't call me for that job. Them's the rules. It doesn't mean the world is rigged against me or built to exclude me or that meritocracy is dead. There are still good jobs out there for me; I just have to find them (and I have). There are also good jobs out there for you. It might not be exactly what you want, but you can find ways to make good money and a good living. The biggest thing is attitude. I would get nowhere by moping about my inability to become an ATC and thinking that the world was set against me. I just had to smile, suck it up, and move on. You would do well to do the same.

I’ll admit that the military has shaped my views on this. In the service, we all know and even joke about the fact that praise is unlikely and as long as you’re not getting your ass chewed off, you’re probably doing alright. Hell, even if you’re getting chewed out, you’re probably still doing OK. Individual superiors may vary in their approach to things.

I’m not going to research your point for you. If you want to link to something scientific and insightful, I’ll read it (tomorrow). Good night.

Uh huh. Right. Just so we're perfectly clear, I feel no animosity towards you at all. To the limited extent that we "know" each other, I actually like you and wish you the best. I offer advice because I genuinely believe it to be easy to implement and capable of improving your circumstances. If you ignore it, it's your choice. It ultimately won't affect me that deeply if the rest of your life is miserable. I simply think that a mindset adjustment would help greatly. The ball is in your court.

You actually said both of those things, within two lines of each other. While in the middle denying that you are in any way a victim. Seriously. I can't speak for anyone else, but I would never choose to exclude or discriminate against people with autism. In five years, I plan to be creating several blue-collar jobs. I'd like to be able to pay decently with attractive benefits and they're not going to require too much social interaction, so they might be perfect for somebody with autism. I would readily consider and, if I believe them to be the best candidate, hire a person with autism. But I wouldn't hire you. And hopefully I wouldn't hire someone like you, solely in reference to your attitude. If I came into oversight of someone like you, I wouldn't promote you and I'd probably wonder what I'd have to do to be rid of you. You have adopted an insanely poisonous attitude, and you justify it by acting like some sort of martyr in a fight against an evil that doesn't exist. Nobody discriminates against people with autism. People discriminate against you. The problem is you. You want to make one person's life better? Adjust your attitude and have it be your own.

Spot on, Tony. I almost said it when he mentioned the people he's talked to who've had terrible work experiences. Why would a high achiever with a great attitude about everything even bother talking to Jack? We all attract certain types of people, and with his attitude, I'm pretty certain Jack attracts the other Debbie downers and underachievers.

🙄 People are responsible for their own actions. I voted for him in 2016, and I will again, and somehow I've never endeavored to use racial slurs or treat anyone like shit because of their race. Your friends became and continued to be jackasses all on their own. I bring this up mainly because it's a good lesson for you overall. Own yourself, man. The key to your future is you. You continually blame third parties for your failures and for your friends' racist idiocies, rather than placing that accountability where it belongs.

You're incredible, Jack. Does anything I say or anybody else says get through to you? I'm not here to play the Victimhood Olympics with you. I don't care. My only point is that everyone has struggles in life. You don't know what anyone else has dealt with, and despite my blurb, you don't know my entirety either. But you'd sit there and say that bolded shit, regardless. For what it's worth, I don't feel guilty saying that I've had a generally happy life thus far and see a similarly happy future for myself. My ultimate goal in life is to provide an amazing existence for myself, my wife, and most of all, my children. Being able to b**** on the internet about how dramatically traumatic it all is isn't much of a priority for me. You come in here and act like you're this awe-inspiring genius, if only you could get over your direly lacking social skills. So I give you some genuine advice to build your charisma and, perhaps in some small way, move past these social struggles. Literally anyone could work on having a positive attitude and spending less time pushing their victim status and less time making silly, condescending assumptions about other people. I'm actually asking you to do less things and expend less energy, because if you take my advice, you'll spend less time complaining about things (maybe using that time for actual productivity). It's so fucking easy! But nooooo, out of all the millions of people in America, you got an extra shitty hand. Many people's lives suck balls, but yours does even more so! Despite clearly identifying your problems, and being given some possible solutions, it will never be fixed at all because other people are mean and anti-meritocratic and the whole system is rigged extra good to fuck you. So, fine, Jack. You win. Please come up to the podium and accept your Gold Medal of Endless Victimhood. I'll recall your glorious victory in these games while cruising on my yacht someday. Bravo!

Why would he have paid much attention to that? You gave a number of vague anecdotes from an indeterminate number of people who had crappy work experiences and then formulated an 80/20 rule, and you want us to address that seriously? The most specific account you gave was your friend with a master's who never got a job after 2008. Why not? Did he starve? If not, I guess he didn't need it too bad. Unemployment is ridiculously low right now, he surely could have gotten a new job if he actually wanted one. Yeah, dude, some people hate their jobs. You have no rational basis for throwing out some ridiculous number and telling us statistically how lucky we are if we don't despise our workplaces.

Honestly, this statement bugs the heck out of me. How do you know what other people have been through or how hard they've worked? I went to middle school in a foreign country where I got in fights every single day. I went from being a meek, passive sixth grader to being a hyperaggressive asshole by the time I showed up in high school. I spent the first nine months of my marriage in Afghanistan. I've spent the last fifteen months away from my wife and kids, except for a few weekends, to handle this mission I've been assigned. I've dealt with and overcome clinical depression. And to that I say, so what? This doesn't make me special. None of this makes me unique. Every person on this board and on this planet could give you a list of things that they've battled and overcome, but very few of them define themselves by those experiences. Struggle is part of life, man; stop assuming that the universe just deigned to give you an especially shitty hand. Not only are you spitting on other people's experiences, but you're discounting your own as well. You're more than just an autistic dude- you are a complete human being. You demand that employers give you respect on that level, but I don't think I've ever seen you give that respect to yourself. You are much more than a "disability" and an intelligence level. Do you think perhaps that attitude rubs off on the people around you and perhaps changes the ways they approach you? Consider it.

If you really think you'd work your ass off and put together phenomenal products and not reap any benefit from it at all, you need a new job. That's not normal. There will always be some element of who-knows-who, because people trust people they know and have histories with, but that shouldn't be it entirely. My civilian side job is like this. My wife got an interview primarily because her own father is a local legend in the field. She still showed her chops, and they loved her. Dad's name got her in the door but she finished the deal on her own. Because of that, her new boss called the person who would become my boss and got me an interview. I nailed it and got the job. Person who hired me got shitcanned a week later. New boss, who knew nothing about my family connections at all, recommended me for a prestigious master's program and gave me increased responsibilities and leadership roles over time because I showed how capable I was. The good ol' boys club might have helped, but I did plenty to increase my standing on my own as well. It's a mix. And just curious, how would you recommend adjusting human nature to combat this tendency?

Little bit grating, Jack. My parents were both in the Navy and that directly affected how I grew up, but I didn't truly understand how it all worked until I was in the fray. Thank your godfather for his service for me, genuinely, but don't overestimate your own knowledge of the situation. And don't discredit my overall advice about leadership. The military is a dictatorship in that you can't just stop showing up whenever like you can at Pizza Hut, and flipping out on me comes with more serious consequences than flipping out on your civilian manager, but tenets of leadership are still similar. A Soldier might have a longer obligation that he has to meet, but we'll want to retain him after that, and to do that, we have to keep him happy. If all my Soldiers get to the ends of their contracts and show no interest in reenlisting, the people above me are going to ask me some uncomfortable questions. It's not WWII anymore, where I could give an outrageous order to who-the-fuck-ever, and then threaten to have them shot when they objected. I do have to find ways to keep my "employees" happy while still putting mission accomplishment at the top. In that aspect, it does provide a decent comparison with the corporate world.

No, they don't have that responsibility. Skilled labor and jobs are side benefits to creating a company. And the market will decide if it wants the products that are being created; no profit will exist without this consent. I'm in the process of starting a business. Without being too specific, I'm going to expand to a certain level and, until then, I will handle everything myself. I'll be the sole employee and the workload should roughly fill a 40 hour work week (more sales does mean more work, and if that's the case, I might find my first employee(s) sooner than expected). Anyways, when I get to the "expansion point", I'll hire employees to handle the extra work as necessary. I'll eventually pass off my original work as well, so that I can focus entirely on management of the whole apparatus, and little to none of the labor. I will train my new employees because I don't know how they (and by extension, my company) would be successful without this. I'll mentor them too, and I would like to offer a solid and meritocratic benefits package so that the opportunity is attractive to talented individuals. But if they can't handle it, it's counterproductive to just lessen their paycheck (because I'll have to pay someone else to pick up the slack). Ultimately, if they cannot contribute to accomplishment of the mission, just like in the military, my goal will be to terminate their employment. I will create jobs that will help other people, but those will be indirect benefits of my efforts. The primary goal of my efforts will be to make money by selling products.

Create a family environment? Stop squeezing employees for every bit of time and money possible? How should I do this? I command about 150 US Army Soldiers. We have a mission, and the mission always comes first. I can remove a Soldier from this mission at any time, and I have done so on numerous occasions when their presence was no longer conducive to mission accomplishment (money isn't a factor since I'm not managing the budget). That said, I do care about my Soldiers and I do look out for their well-being as much as I can. I brought a young man in the other day to tell him that we were moving him to a new location about fifty miles distant (the other location had the need). He protested, and rather than just force him to move (which I could have done), I looked for and found someone else. I go and talk to my Soldiers constantly (which isn't easy, because they're spread over hundreds of square miles) and try to interact with them on as personal of a level as I can. I want them to know that I care about them and want the best for them. But the mission is always foremost. I will stop at nothing to uphold good order and discipline, to maintain Army standards, and to ensure that our job is done to the level it needs to be done, and if that means kicking someone out, I absolutely will. I've had Soldiers plead with me when they are informed of their removal. One guy told me his wife was sick and they therefore needed the money (which was interesting, because I was firing him for borderline sexual harassment of other females). I had to reinforce to him that I wasn't running a charity and his behavior was besmirching our organization. The point is, the job comes first. There is a mission. That is the purpose of all this. That is the point of my existence and my Soldiers' existences here. I make good money here, but if I stop being good at what I do, it'll be the end of me. You can and should, as an employer, show care for your employees, but don't forget what the point is.

Geez. First off, I don't think you know what living in a totalitarian dictatorship is like if you think not being praised at work is at all analogous. Second, a job is a transaction. Your employer gives you a paycheck in exchange for work. If you do well, they give you a bigger paycheck! Soxfan2014 is right in his reply that there is a sense of entitlement in the younger generation. Nobody's going to give or even owes you mad props just because you exist and show up every day. This is a really dopey argument. How exactly do you want them to take your career seriously? You know who needs to take your career seriously? You. Nobody else. A company isn't a charity- it exists for some specific purpose. If you don't help to accomplish that purpose, then you ARE disposable.

I've carried one particular notebook everywhere I've gone for the last year, because it zips closed and has an interior pocket that I keep my building access cards in. I've literally never written in it. I'm a horrible note taker.

Sheets, Basabe, Rutherford, Gonzalez...but those last three have all been uninspiring, to the extent that I don't even bother to check on them anymore.

Yeah, this is the sort of attitude that makes me sneer at sabes types. Let's all bow down to the guys who worship OBP and think BA is silly and think batting titles are for punks! Ok, whatever, bro.

Dude, this is a bad post. If you don't care about it, fine, but obviously a lot of people, myself included, do care about it. So you're incorrect to say no one cares, and the rest of your analysis is just know-it-all buzzkillery.

I fucking hate Yolmer so much. He's the one Sox player ever with whom I can disregard my disgust for Joe West as both a human and an umpire to pin the blame for his failures entirely on the player himself. I'm going to throw a party when his ass gets inevitably DFAed.

We have so many garbage baseball players.

Jack, I had to jet earlier, which is why my response was so brief, but I'd like to come back to this for a moment. I get why you think you need to tell people you're smart. The truth is, you really don't. There are plenty of places to show off intelligence, and showing is always better than telling. If some guy came up to you and told you he's super charming, is that going to mean much to you? No. An actual person with charm is just going to show you that charm, not tell you about it. Same with intellect. Another thing is that, when you do this for the reasons you do this, you're making (likely incorrect) assumptions about the people around you. I'm not a medical professional, nor is my wife, but we both know basic traits of autism. Furthermore, I don't think I've ever met anyone who thought autism comes with ID. I've certainly never had to correct anyone on the matter. So if you, in real life, casually mentioned to me how smart you are, I'd probably give you a weird look and ask why you're bringing that up, and when you gave your reason, I'd be put off by your unfounded assumption that I was ignorant of the topic. I'd probably be polite and not make a big show of it, but it would absolutely rub me the wrong way and I wouldn't be in any rush to have further interactions with you. You're free to take my advice or leave it, but your own reflections on yourself are that you are "grating and annoying", and I guarantee that changing this one particular behavior would do nothing but shift that characterization in a positive direction for you.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ve literally never thought that.