A little advice...

[WhiteSoxFan1]

Got a first date tonight with a girl who is currently "taking a break" from her BF. Ive only known this girl for a week now, and it appears im the lucky one that she gets to have her "fun" with while her and her ex take their break. She has already prewarned me of the situation, and that her and her bf will more than likely end up back together. So im all for just going out, hanging out and having a good time with no strings attached. I know this is most guys dream.... but any advice on if...persay, I wanted to try to win her over?

Edited April 13, 2007 by WhiteSoxFan1

[Rowand44]

Got a first date tonight with a girl who is currently "taking a break" from her BF. Ive only known this girl for a week now, and it appears im the lucky one that she gets to have her "fun" with while her and her ex take their break. She has already prewarned me of the situation, and that her and her bf will more than likely end up back together. So im all for just going out, hanging out and having a good time with no strings attached. I know this is most guys dream.... but any advice on if...persay, I wanted to try to win her over?

Make her watch the Sox game with you...duh.

[southsider2k5]

If she is hung up on another guy, I wouldn't bother.

[retro1983hat]

You are already going to be in the FRIEND territory.

[whitesoxfan101]

If you want to "win her over" than you have to miss out on the "in between fun" you would otherwise get. If you mess around with her, she's going to lose respect for you in terms of anything other than a fun buddy. You only chance to win her over would be to be caring about the situation she's in and more of a friend to her tonight than anything else. If you do that and do it well, she might see her boyfriend as the clown that she decided to take a break with and give you a shot instead (of course, part of it is how long have those 2 been together). Just my 2 cents, though, so take it FWIW. If her and her boy had been together for a while, your chances are minimal no matter what, maybe your better off just having some fun with her like she wants to happen.

Edited April 13, 2007 by whitesoxfan101

[WhiteSoxFan1]

2 years

[whitesoxfan101]

2 years

 

Oh wow, and you've known her only a week? Then ignore my 1st post and just have your fun with her and move on.

[WhiteSoxFan1]

If she is hung up on another guy, I wouldn't bother.

Depends what you mean by hung up. If anything she seems annoyed and looking for change, but at the same time she realizes after dating for 2 years there is an emotion comfortness and attachment.

[southsider2k5]

Depends what you mean by hung up. If anything she seems annoyed and looking for change, but at the same time she realizes after dating for 2 years there is an emotion comfortness and attachment.

 

Those kind of relationships pretty much always bomb because she is still trying to fix the last relationship. I wouldn't kill myself for her if I was you.

[Controlled Chaos]

Call her up and cancel on her now. Just tell her something came up and you'll talk to her later.

Edited April 13, 2007 by Controlled Chaos

[WhiteSoxFan1]

by the way, shes 18, im 20.

 

Call her up and cancel on her now. Just tell her something came up and you'll talk to her later.

 

That really would be a decent move, but im not that desperate for her. Plus it ruins a friday night im really looking foward too.

 

Those kind of relationships pretty much always bomb because she is still trying to fix the last relationship. I wouldn't kill myself for her if I was you.

 

I know this, and I have to keep reminding myself of this. I just know in the back of my mind how I am, and how I get attached rather easily.

 

I know I could never let it show though. If I ever did, chase over and game over.

[SoxFan562004]

get ready for her bf to "accidently" see you guys together

 

IMO this is just asking to be a part of a major pain in the ass situation.

[Soxbadger]

Well im currently on the other side of the spectrum. And judging from your information, your not taking my gf out on a date so here is what i have to offer.

 

You have only known this girl for a week, so dont put the cart before the horse. Just go out tonight and have a good time. The stuff with her ex is going to work itself out one way or another. At this point all you can worry about is yourself. If you get hung up with other stuff the date will tank period.

 

Who knows you may go out not even like her and all this stuff will be moot. But if for godforsaken reason you do go out with her, feel that she is the girl of your dreams, and you cant live with out her, then I will come back and give you some advice on how to take down an ex.

 

Just for now think of it this way:

 

Everyone has a past. Hers is just more immediate at the moment. But she has chosen to go out with you. So let the past be the past and just see what happens in the moment.

[Controlled Chaos]

by the way, shes 18, im 20.

That really would be a decent move, but im not that desperate for her. Plus it ruins a friday night im really looking foward too.

I know this, and I have to keep reminding myself of this. I just know in the back of my mind how I am, and how I get attached rather easily.

 

I know I could never let it show though. If I ever did, chase over and game over.

You're going out with a girl that has a boyfriend, who went out of her way to tell you that she will prolly get back with him and is just taking a break. Now if she also told you I'm tired of riding the same old Harley all the time, so I'm just looking for a change of pace.....perhaps sometehing smoother with a little more kick....then I would say get those RPMs up and go for it.

 

She didn't say that though. Fact is you may not be desperate for her, but it looks desperate from her point of view, which is why she feels safe going out with you. Cancel on her..tell her maybe some other time.

 

Spend your Friday night watching the Sox beat down the tribe.

 

 

BTW...my advice is also your best advice for winning this chick over if she ever does decide to leave her boyfriend. If she doesn't...then my advice was also the best for you. It's Win Win baby!!

Edited April 13, 2007 by Controlled Chaos

[Kid Gleason]

Watch out for the ex. I was once in your situation, went out with her, ran into the ex., and proceeded to have the guy come after. I was at the friggin' mall the first time, he started pushing me around, threw a punch which I moved out of the way of and then I got out of there. Secruity caught up with him and threw him out of the place. She was all happy and impressed that I didn't resort to violence. I told her I didn't do it to impress her. I then pulled out the ferret I used to carry and told her I didn't care to go to jail for her worthless ass. I then left her and never called her again. The idiot was outside waiting for me, so I had security get me to my car and keep him around.

The next year+ I would run into this ass in different places, and it was always the same, he would come after me for going out with his "ex". I kept telling him it was one date. They were back together by that point also.

Just because she is on a break doesn't mean he is willing to be on that break, especially if she is saying they will probably get back together. That ain't a dream situation, that's a wacky situation, and one to steer VERY clear of.

Edited April 14, 2007 by Kid Gleason

[WhiteSoxFan1]

Watch out for the ex. I was once in your situation, went out with her, ran into the ex., and proceeded to have the guy come after. I was at the friggin' mall the first time, he started pushing me around, threw a punch which I moved out of the way of and then I got out of there. Secruity caught up with him and threw him out of the place. She was all happy and impressed that I didn't resort to violence. I told her I didn't do it to impress her. I then pulled out the butterfly knife I used to carry and told her I didn't care to go to jail for her worthless ass. I then left her and never called her again. The idiot was outside waiting for me, so I had security get me to my car and keep him around.

The next year+ I would run into this ass in different places, and it was always the same, he would come after me for going out with his "ex". I kept telling him it was one date. They were back together by that point also.

Just because she is on a break doesn't mean he is willing to be on that break, especially if she is saying they will probably get back together. That ain't a dream situation, that's a wacky situation, and one to steer VERY clear of.

Ofcourse this was always in the back of my head, but thanks because now after reading your story im a tad bit scared like hes watching me.

 

Then you are setting yourself up for failure. I can get attached easily as well, and in your situation, you know this probably isn't going anywhere. There are a few things at play.

 

1.You know she still has feelings for her old BF.

2. You are the rebound guy. While that might seem nice, you aren't going to get much out of the actual relationship. If you end up getting lucky on the 1st or 2nd date, is that really the type of girl you want a serious relationship with anyway?

If you want to have some fun,go ahead. However, if you know you are one to get attached easy, don't even waste your time. While you will get enjoyment out of it early, it won't make up for crap you will have to deal with when she probably gets back with her old BF.

 

I completely agree. Im too excited to cancel though. I havent been out much other than the gym and a few house parties since breaking up with my ex in october. We also dated for 2 years.

[Kid Gleason]

Ofcourse this was always in the back of my head, but thanks because now after reading your story im a tad bit scared like hes watching me.

 

You should be. It was a TERRIBLE time. If I went anywhere around the Carpentersville/Dundee area, he was sure enough to be there, and he was always seemingly looking for me. I swear, it had been about a year since I ran into him the last time, and sure enough he showed up, swearing his head off. I never fought him, due to his being psychotic. The last time I ran into him, if I remember right, was probably about 5 years after the date. I'm easy to find in a crowd, so he always remembered me. Luckily my hair has fallen out so now I look different! LOL!

[witesoxfan]

get completely hammered and see what happens from there

 

best.advice.evar.

[WhiteSoxFan1]

You should be. It was a TERRIBLE time. If I went anywhere around the Carpentersville/Dundee area, he was sure enough to be there, and he was always seemingly looking for me. I swear, it had been about a year since I ran into him the last time, and sure enough he showed up, swearing his head off. I never fought him, due to his being psychotic. The last time I ran into him, if I remember right, was probably about 5 years after the date. I'm easy to find in a crowd, so he always remembered me. Luckily my hair has fallen out so now I look different! LOL!

 

Well I guess ill just have to do what I have to do. As long as he isnt to tall, I feel id be able to hold my own. I really dont want to even think like that though. I dont want it to ever have to come down to that.

[FlaSoxxJim]

You have only known this girl for a week, so dont put the cart before the horse. Just go out tonight and have a good time. The stuff with her ex is going to work itself out one way or another. At this point all you can worry about is yourself. If you get hung up with other stuff the date will tank period.

 

Listen to this man. Every relationship starts with a first date. Some go somewhere, some go nowhere, and everybody brings emotional baggage with them. If you like this person spend some time with her and see where it goes. Be yourself, be honest, and get to know each other.

 

get completely hammered and see what happens from there

 

best.advice.evar.

 

There are worse gameplans.

[DrunkBomber]

If you get attached easily, seriously dont even bother. It appears youve already made up your mind and are gonna go so i would just warn to be careful. First of all, shes using you, without a doubt you are a ploy to piss off her "ex" and you could get sucked into some kind of drama like fighting. Also, I wouldnt bank too much on this "fun" if shes been together with a guy that long I doubt shes looking for something like that right away. If shes already told you shes more than likely going to get back together with her ex than I doubt she would do anything to jeopardize her relationship. It sounds like she needs a friend to b**** about her exboyfriend with.

 

Watch out for the ex. I was once in your situation, went out with her, ran into the ex., and proceeded to have the guy come after. I was at the friggin' mall the first time, he started pushing me around, threw a punch which I moved out of the way of and then I got out of there. Secruity caught up with him and threw him out of the place. She was all happy and impressed that I didn't resort to violence. I told her I didn't do it to impress her. I then pulled out the butterfly knife I used to carry and told her I didn't care to go to jail for her worthless ass. I then left her and never called her again. The idiot was outside waiting for me, so I had security get me to my car and keep him around.

The next year+ I would run into this ass in different places, and it was always the same, he would come after me for going out with his "ex". I kept telling him it was one date. They were back together by that point also.

Just because she is on a break doesn't mean he is willing to be on that break, especially if she is saying they will probably get back together. That ain't a dream situation, that's a wacky situation, and one to steer VERY clear of.

I hope this is a joke

[WhiteSoxFan1]

If you get attached easily, seriously dont even bother. It appears youve already made up your mind and are gonna go so i would just warn to be careful. First of all, shes using you, without a doubt you are a ploy to piss off her "ex" and you could get sucked into some kind of drama like fighting. Also, I wouldnt bank too much on this "fun" if shes been together with a guy that long I doubt shes looking for something like that right away. If shes already told you shes more than likely going to get back together with her ex than I doubt she would do anything to jeopardize her relationship.

 

I really dont know her well enough to know her standards but while talking on aim last night she mentioned countless times how she loves making out, but it doesnt mean she gets attached. Im assuming it was all a hint and that its her plan for tonight. Any further than that? Your probably right in the sense that she wouldnt. I wouldnt turn it down though.

Edited April 13, 2007 by WhiteSoxFan1

[Kid Gleason]

I hope this is a joke

 

No joke. Why do you hope it is?

[DrunkBomber]

No joke. Why do you hope it is?

You were carrying a knife on you and after the guy left you showed it to the girl? Thats pretty serious. Also, you shouldnt of let that guy push you around, hes the one who couldnt keep his girlfriend happy and it sounded like he was trying to take it out on you.

[Kid Gleason]

I was so pissed that I showed the girl the knife for no other reason than a "I wasn't doing anything other than protecting my ass because of this" type of thing. A ferret is a concealed weapon, I could have been in a s***load of trouble for having it, especially if I used it. I also know that knowing any form of Martial Art can and will get you in trouble in said situation. My best move was to keep it to myself, not get in the fight, and get out of the situation as best as possible. I didn't really want to fight, especially over this girl. I never carried the knife again. I did keep it in my car though.

Edited April 14, 2007 by Kid Gleason