So your new career is 'bathroom attendant'?

I was talking with a friend of mine, said a woman had hurt his pride.

Told him that she loved him so and turned around and let him go.

 

But before leaving, spent $100 on a toilet seat, charged to his account. I was interested to learn that it is possible to spend $100 on a toilet seat. I am sorry, for $100, I want a custom molded to my ass toilet seat.

So your new career is 'bathroom attendant'?

cologne? towel?

Wow. You can tell it's the off-season. To be honest, though, I voted.

And a stainless toilet seat? Damn that'd be cold.

Horseshoe? Are we talking about George Costanza's hair here?

 

I'd want one of those Japanese Toilet Seats that says "I am honoured to accept your waste".

And a stainless toilet seat? Damn that'd be cold.

 

IIRC one of our regular posters probably used one for a month or so while he was a guest of the county

Rock bottom. We have hit it.

Rock bottom. We have hit it.

Toilet seats are made from rock?

 

Toilet seats are made from rock?

 

 

 

Al: Bud, sit down. Let me tell you the story of the Ferguson. Now these babies were made in Maine, you know, at the little Ferguson factory. It's the Stradivarius of toilets. And my Dad could play it like a violin.

Yup, I'll never forget the time my dad took me to Maine to visit the factory. I had to go to the bathroom. And I begged him to pull into a truck stop. He said no, wait until we get there! It'll be worth it! It was!

 

Bud: Excuse me, Dad, but a toilet is a toilet.

 

Al: (grimacing) Bud... the toilets today aren't worthy of the name! They come in designer colors... they're too low! When you flush them, they make this weak, almost apologetic sound. But not the Ferguson. It only comes in white. And when you flush it... BaaaWOOOSH! That's a man's flush, Bud. A Ferguson says, "I'm a toilet. Sit down and give me your best shot." Oh, if only a Ferguson could speak, the tales it would tell!

 

So does anyone actually have a toilet seat pole?

Lol, I know for a fact that the most expensive toilet seat they have available at Menards is $27.98.

 

As for me, my preferences vary based on whether it's a public or private toilet.

 

Private toilets: unpadded/full circle or oval/wood or heavy plastic.

 

Public toilets: unpaded/horseshoe/wood or heavy plastic.

 

I hate using padded toilet seats, it just seems like if someone takes leak without raising the toilet seat that any urine that lands on the toilet seat would be absorbed a little bit by the padding. I find it gross and I think plastic and wood toilet seats are easier to clean and sanitize.

 

:-p

And a stainless toilet seat? Damn that'd be cold.

That is the very reason I'd go padded. Nothing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat in the AM. That said I have the standard plastic and it works just fine.

On a semi related note, how great is pooping at work? Something about literally being paid to defecate makes me feel like I've won.

On a semi related note, how great is pooping at work? Something about literally being paid to defecate makes me feel like I've won.

 

literally lol

On a semi related note, how great is pooping at work? Something about literally being paid to defecate makes me feel like I've won.

My manager keeps telling me he wants me to punch out whenever I go to the bathroom because he thinks I take too long. What he doesn't know is that while I'm on the toilet at work, I'm using my cell phone and visiting sites like Soxtalk.

Edited November 7, 200916 yr by SouthsideDon48

This keeps getting better. I misheard the price, it was over $100 closer to $175 with shipping. Carved and painted wood seat and cover. Has a nice fishing motif, and he doesn't even fish. I keep asking him to take a pic and send it to me. She said she wanted him to sit and think about her and what he was losing and this would be the reminder. I said, if she had sent you some good porn with her, you'd really think about her, but my suggestion was probably not followed.

My manager keeps telling me he wants me to punch out whenever I go to the bathroom because he thinks I take too long. What he doesn't know is that while I'm on the toilet at work, I'm using my cell phone and visiting sites like Soxtalk.

 

wait, did you post this while on the can? Thematically that could be post of the year worthy

wait, did you post this while on the can? Thematically that could be post of the year worthy

Actually... I posted my very first message on this thread from the can. I checked the toilet seat prices on my way to the bathroom at work.

 

And I'm actually on the can right now as I'm posting THIS message.

Leave yourself a memo to not forget and burn that phone

Looks like I'm with the norm for all of my preferences.