July 30, 201015 yr Teacher: Billy why are you crying and why did you bring your cat to school? Billy: Because I heard my dad tell my mom "When Billy leaves to school I'm gonna beat that p**** up!" Who comes up with this stuff?!?! LMFAO!!
July 30, 201015 yr There is 3 guys being chased by the police. One Black guy,one Mexican guy, and a Polish guy. They run into the alley way and hide in three different sacks. The cops find the sack that the black guy is in and they kick it. The black guy says "meow meow...meow". So the police think oh its just some cats. They go to the next sack with the Mexican guy in it and kick it. The Mexican guy says "ruff...ruff" and the police think oh thats just a sack of puppies barking. The they get to the third sack and kick it and the polish guy says "POTATOES....POTATOES....POTATOES...".
July 30, 201015 yr Author QUOTE (IceCreamPants @ Jul 30, 2010 -> 01:29 PM) There is 3 guys being chased by the police. One Black guy,one Mexican guy, and a Polish guy. They run into the alley way and hide in three different sacks. The cops find the sack that the black guy is in and they kick it. The black guy says "meow meow...meow". So the police think oh its just some cats. They go to the next sack with the Mexican guy in it and kick it. The Mexican guy says "ruff...ruff" and the police think oh thats just a sack of puppies barking. The they get to the third sack and kick it and the polish guy says "POTATOES....POTATOES....POTATOES...". AAAHAHAHA that is soo funny!! freaking polocks ..gotta love em'! lmfao
July 30, 201015 yr A nun gets on a bus and sits behind the driver. She says to the bus driver she needs someone to talk to. She lives in a convent and wants to experience sex before she dies. The bus driver agrees but the nun explains she can't have sex with a married man because it would be a sin. The bus driver says no problem, he's not married.. The nun says she also has to die a virgin, so she has to take it in the ass. The bus driver agrees again and being the only two people on the bus they go in the back and take care of business. When they were done and he had resumed driving the bus driver said, Sister, I have a confession to make, I'm married and have three kid's." The nun replied, "That's O.K. I have a confession too. My name is Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party.
July 30, 201015 yr QUOTE (EvilJester99 @ Jul 30, 2010 -> 04:08 PM) A nun gets on a bus and sits behind the driver. She says to the bus driver she needs someone to talk to. She lives in a convent and wants to experience sex before she dies. The bus driver agrees but the nun explains she can't have sex with a married man because it would be a sin. The bus driver says no problem, he's not married.. The nun says she also has to die a virgin, so she has to take it in the ass. The bus driver agrees again and being the only two people on the bus they go in the back and take care of business. When they were done and he had resumed driving the bus driver said, Sister, I have a confession to make, I'm married and have three kid's." The nun replied, "That's O.K. I have a confession too. My name is Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party. :lolhitting
July 30, 201015 yr I am Polish, so I can tell this joke! A factory full of Polish guys decide to hire a new guy. On the new guy's first day, he gets a big extension ladder, climbs up it and yells out at the top of his lungs, "I'M A LIGHT! I'M A LIGHT! The foreman sees him, and orders him to get down. As soon as the foreman leaves, the guy goes immediately goes back up the ladder and yells out again, "I'M A LIGHT. I'M A LIGHT. The foreman sees him, orders him down and says that if he goes back up there again that he is fired! As soon as the foreman leaves, back up ladder the guy goes yelling out once again I'M A LIGHT! I'M A LIGHT! The foreman sees him and immediately fires him. As he is walking out the door, all of the other Polish guys walk out with him and quit! When the foreman asked one of them, "Why are all of you quitting?" The reply! "We can't work in a place with no lights!"
July 30, 201015 yr Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
July 31, 201015 yr Why do pedophiles not get along well with people? They struggle to fit in. Edited July 31, 201015 yr by fathom
July 31, 201015 yr Author QUOTE (fathom @ Jul 30, 2010 -> 08:30 PM) Why do pedophiles not get along well with people? They struggle to fit in. EWWW freaking disgusting!! As a mother of 3, I am very disturbed by this joke!
July 31, 201015 yr QUOTE (fathom @ Jul 30, 2010 -> 10:30 PM) Why do pedophiles not get along well with people? They struggle to fit in. You should get banned just for this joke, and I'm not sure I'm kidding. That's more then bad, it's wrong.
July 31, 201015 yr QUOTE (fathom @ Jul 30, 2010 -> 11:30 PM) Why do pedophiles not get along well with people? They struggle to fit in. Gamebreaker.
July 31, 201015 yr QUOTE (kapkomet @ Jul 31, 2010 -> 04:45 AM) You should get banned just for this joke, and I'm not sure I'm kidding. That's more then bad, it's wrong. Are you kidding me? It's a thread for tasteless jokes. In no way was I trying to offend anyone. Edited July 31, 201015 yr by fathom
July 31, 201015 yr QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Jul 31, 2010 -> 06:02 AM) It's a thread for bad jokes. No reason to even talk about banning. Okay there's bad and there's just wrong. That one crossed a line. But that's my opinion. It's not like I'm going to do anything about it.
July 31, 201015 yr Author yeah ...I know a few that I would never post on here. I feel guilty just repeating them!! haha
July 31, 201015 yr Yeah I know some really bad ones too, but don't want to get banned. Somebody should be a disclaimer warning on the title or something and then we can get to the really bad ones.
July 31, 201015 yr How do you sink a Polish battleship? Put it in water. Hear about the Polish admiral who wanted to be buried at sea? Yeah, 8 sailors died digging his grave. Hear about how Russia made the world's largest zoo? They put a 50 foot fence around Poland. Why did all the Poles leave Mt. Prospect? They thought it would erupt. How do you tell who the groom is at a Polish wedding? He's the one wearing a clean bowling shirt.
July 31, 201015 yr Not really a joke, but I saw a kid wearing a Nike shirt that said "I'm going to be on a cereal box one day" and the first thought that popped into my head was only is he goes missing.
July 31, 201015 yr One day a guy was out in the woods taking a pee, when suddenly a rattlesnake came out of the bushes and bit him on his dick. He gave a loud yell, and his friend came running to his side. "What has happened?" "A snake bit me on my dick, you're going to have to go find a doctor and ask what to do." The friend leaves the guy to find help. Soon he came upon a town, and found the local doctor. "Help! my friend has been bitten by a rattlesnake! What should I do?" The doctor replied: "Well, you will have to suck the poison from the wound, then bandage it up." "Thank you doctor!" the friend replied while running back out the door. He ran for a while until he found his friend who was bitten, lying on the ground. "Well, what did he say?" asked the victim. His friend looked at the wound, and then looked at him and said, "He said you're gonna die."
August 1, 201015 yr Author QUOTE (knightni @ Jul 31, 2010 -> 03:33 PM) One day a guy was out in the woods taking a pee, when suddenly a rattlesnake came out of the bushes and bit him on his dick. He gave a loud yell, and his friend came running to his side. "What has happened?" "A snake bit me on my dick, you're going to have to go find a doctor and ask what to do." The friend leaves the guy to find help. Soon he came upon a town, and found the local doctor. "Help! my friend has been bitten by a rattlesnake! What should I do?" The doctor replied: "Well, you will have to suck the poison from the wound, then bandage it up." "Thank you doctor!" the friend replied while running back out the door. He ran for a while until he found his friend who was bitten, lying on the ground. "Well, what did he say?" asked the victim. His friend looked at the wound, and then looked at him and said, "He said you're gonna die." Awww ..how sad. I thought that's what friends were for! haha
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