Controlled Chaos

QUOTE (whitesoxfan101 @ May 8, 2008 -> 03:08 PM) All that early season Crede and Swish love is looking pretty silly right now. I still got much Swish Love....

Nice of Farmer to explain to us the silent treatment

All or nothing

QUOTE (fathom @ May 8, 2008 -> 02:27 PM) Terrible..terrible...terrible. Why Swisher and PK continue to play every game, I'll never know. Cause the way to bust a slump is to keep playing....I know you know that.... It sucks, but it is what it is.

JD

QUOTE (hawksfan61 @ May 8, 2008 -> 12:00 PM) The Stoned Age. Classic film...."But we got talls!" Well I'm glad I found a topic to bring you out of your posting slumber. Welcome aboard!!

QUOTE (YASNY @ May 8, 2008 -> 11:26 AM) I guess this proves Blue Oyster Cult was right. Hubbs: What the f*** is that? Joes: It's "Don't Fear the Reaper," man! Hubbs: You're not playing that pussy song in my car man! Joe: But it's Blue Oyster Cult! Hubbs: I don't give a f*** if it's Blue Oyster Cult, it's a pussy song! Let me tell you something: every band puts out at least one pussy song so they can find out who the f**gots are! Bonus points if you know this dumb ass movie.

From Reifert's blog: Best part of Mark's bat-to-heater explosion last night was that he used one of Uribe's bats. Juan is very, very protective of his bats and keeps them all down at the far end of the dugout away from everyone else's lumber. So the idea that Mark grabbed whatever was nearest to him -- in this case Juan's bat -- to inflict his damage is classic. WTF...maybe that's kinda like someone who is very protective of their car. Always washing it and waxing it, but never wanting to really use it for fear of doing some damage.

QUOTE (Al Lopez's Ghost @ May 8, 2008 -> 11:00 AM) It's in Reifert's blog. 2nd time today, I threw up in my mouth. Didn't even drink last night.

QUOTE (kyyle23 @ May 8, 2008 -> 10:29 AM) No, there are two of you. I wasn't crazy about it the first time I saw it....I watched it again when it was on cable and laughed my ass off. It was weird.... 1. "Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you to stop what you're doing and listen. [Pause.] Cannonball!!!!!!" 2. "If you were a man, I would punch you right in the mouth." 3. "Huh? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Actually, I'm not even mad -- that's amazing!" 4. "Mr. Burgundy! You have a massive erection!" "Really? Um, yes ... I do." 5. "I look good ... really good. Hey everyone, come and see how good I look!" 6. "Oh my God, what it that smell?" "That's the smell of desire, my lady." "God, no ... it smells like a used diaper covered in Indian food!" "You know, desire smells like that to some people." 7. "We've been coming to the same party for 12 years now, and in no way is that depressing!" 8. "Come get a taste." 9. "I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I'm polite and I'm rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48 and am what some people call 'mentally retarded.'" 10. "Ahhhhhhhhh, God! I did NOT see that coming!" 11. "Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast!" "It jumped up a notch!" "It did, didn't it?" "Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart!" "I saw that. Brick killed a guy." 12. "You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair." 13. "I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party." "Excuse me?" "The ... party. With the ... with the pants. Party with pants?" "Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?" "That's it." 14. "I'm going to punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker." 15. "Oops, I almost forgot -- I won't be able to make it fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft 'j' ... I'm not sure, but apparently you just run ... for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild." 16. "Ooooh, it's a formidable scent. Stings the nostrils." "In a good way, right?" "Brian, I'm gonna be quite honest with you -- that smells like pure gasoline." 17. "I don't usually do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely ... breathtaking ... heinie. I mean, that thing's good. I wanna be friends with it." 18a. "Well guess what? Now this is happening. (Kicks dog over a bridge.) That's how I roll." 18b. "Whhaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha! The man punted Baxter ... whaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha. Mrmmememme motorcycle bridge I hit him with a burrito-ahhhhhhhhhhh haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in a glass case of emotion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 18c. "Take me to Pleasure Town!" "Oh, we're going there!" 18d. "I immediately regret this decision." 19. "Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Di-ah-go, which of course in German means 'a whale's vagina.'" 20. "I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly . . . mmmm mmmm mmmm." 21. "You are a smelly pirate hooker! Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!" 22. "I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!" 23. "I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said -- my tummy itches." 24. "I mean, come on, Ed, it's bullcrap! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean, they rev my engine -- but they don't belong in the newsroom!" 25. "It's so damn hot! Milk was a bad choice." 26. "Get out! Just go! We are through! Through! Because of your actions, you scorpion woman!" 27. "This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy report here, and guess what. You got knocked up." 28. "We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damned much. I miss being with you. I mess being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent. I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together." 29. "People call me the Bry Man, I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes -- I have a nickname for my penis. It's called the Octagon. But I also nicknamed my testes -- my left one is James Westphal and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right and you just might get to meet the whole gang." 30. "I know that one day, Veronica and I are going to get married on top of a mountain. And there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs ... and we will dance. Until the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band and we will tour the country ... and you won't be invited!" 31. "I don't know how to put this ... but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me ... I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. I'm friends with Merlin Olsen, too. He comes over on occasion." 32. "Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while?" "Yeah, maybe sit the next couple plays out." 33. "They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time." 34. "I have nothing left! Nothing! I have been reduced to rubble!" 35. "You're watching Channel 4 News with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee." "Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation." Bonus Quote No. 1. "Uh, Brick, before I let you go, are you still having your celebrity golf tournament?" "No, no. Too many people died last year." Bonus Quote No. 2. "Today we spell redemption, R-O-N."

QUOTE (StrangeSox @ May 8, 2008 -> 10:25 AM) What a disaster of a game. Glad I got to see the Twins beat our heads in again. Seems like thats the only games I ever go to. Anyone have video of Buerhle taking it out on the heater? No, but as he was swinging the bat like a mad man...I was thinking of Tex's continuing argument in the doll thread that this is just another workplace. I almost made a comment on it...but then I remembered office space...and was like....you know what...he's right.

G&T...time for you to cowboy the f*** up. I don't care if it's your first time...you have to push....HARD....and get through it. Failure is not an option. In you, I have much confidence, young padawan. Many game threads started by you, I see. Not sure why I went all Yoda there, but what the heck...May the force be with you.

QUOTE (NorthSideSox72 @ May 7, 2008 -> 12:47 PM) Apparently you do! haha nice!

QUOTE (fathom @ May 7, 2008 -> 11:28 AM) Yep, just like how we should go through every trade thread and say anyone who liked the Garland trade was stupid or who thought Swisher was a great acquisition was wrong. Of course, people that only comment on what other people have to say never have to worry about old posts being bumped where their opinion on a player was stated. Since I bumped this...should I assume this was directed at me? I think there's plenty of posts that could be bumped about me...and I loved the Swisher acquisition. I still do...in fact I have never in my life bought an authentic jersey for any player on any team, but I bought Swishers. So if he turns into a total bust...you can get me there.

Meeting with the media before the White Sox played Minnesota, general manager Kenny Williams joined Konerko in trying to bring some levity to the controversy. "I will assure major-league baseball that the doll was not violated in any way, shape or form," Williams said. Taking a serious turn, Williams said the stunt was "disappointing." "We have proactively tried to, and just did so this spring training, organizationally, we brought in some people to discuss a better work environment, whether it's gender issues or racial issues," he said. "And we had some very healthy discussions, so from that respect it is very disappointing. But also I don't view this as a boys being boys-type issue. This is, you know, boys being a little bit careless, a little bit irresponsible on this front." Williams stopped short of making an all-out apology. "If my acknowledgment just now does not suffice as an understanding of the sensitivity of the subject, I don't know what is," the Sox' GM said. "I don't know what a formal apology on behalf of the club is going to do, other than me assuring everyone we are on top of it and we addressed the issue."

Is there any kind of message? If it says Techincal Information and then STOP with a bunch of numbers....Whats the first set of numbers

QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ May 7, 2008 -> 09:01 AM) Yeah, this is my favorite! I almost quoted that exact post....but just figured I'd let everyone read on their own.

Great job Gavin. Glad to see him overcome adversity and have his hard work pay off. AHEM As for Anderson being out there in the 9th. I think it's a no brainer. Not that he would have made that catch...It would have been possible, but not probable. Either way...regardless of this game....I'm still baffled as to why Oz doesn't sub for JD in close games...or in this case a no no. IMO...There isn't a much better defensive outfield in baseball than Swish, BA, Q. So in close games that should be the 7,8,9. Now if there was some superstitious reason...then fine. I don't believe in that s***, but I can understand some do. Since Oz did sub BA in the 8th of MB's no no...I'm not sure he believes in it either.

QUOTE (Texsox @ May 6, 2008 -> 03:35 PM) I'd rather be on this side, then defending the need to simulate perverted sex acts in a sport that has a declining fan base, especially among children. If that's the image that the majority of Sox fans support, it's really sad. I hope they recreate it for Bring Your Daughter To Work Day! Nobody here has said that is the image Sox fans want or support. You take things to such extremes.

QUOTE (Steve9347 @ May 6, 2008 -> 03:28 PM) Me too. Well you guys are definitely in the minorty....at least according to sports reporters, as well as callers...men and women, I have heard on the radio.

QUOTE (Texsox @ May 6, 2008 -> 03:24 PM) I'll give you that. This is starting to sound like an Office skit. Everyone sitting around the office, brainstorming ways to sell more. Ideas? Anyone? Well if we were big league baseball players we could bring in a latex doll and stick bats up her butt! It would cretainly give clients something to talk about while they wait.

QUOTE (NorthSideSox72 @ May 6, 2008 -> 03:19 PM) Oh man, if he had that beard going again, and dyed it pink, that would be awesome. Did he ever say why he shaved it?

QUOTE (Texsox @ May 6, 2008 -> 03:19 PM) So why is it that baseball players have to be able to simulate perverted sex acts with an inflatible doll to do their jobs? Because the normal definition of a slumpbuster just isn't safe in this day and age. I actually applaud them for going an alternative route.

QUOTE (knightni @ May 6, 2008 -> 03:08 PM) Any more posting of pictures of blowup dolls, naked cartoons etc. gets you 10 days. This is your only warning. A big green naked blow up dragon carries a pretty stiff penalty. I'll be careful.

Swisher, Danks and Hall are dying their facial hair Pink, in honor of mothers day. That's a constructive change.