jackie hayes

QUOTE(KevHead0881 @ Nov 16, 2006 -> 01:34 PM) David Aardsma is #1! lol

Well, lots of people are saying it, not just mlbtr. There's already a thread in the DC.

I don't see what's so awful. We got a pitcher with less service time who throws well to lefties (splits were about even last year) and has been pretty consistent in the minors and the bigs. On the other hand... Vasquez was suspended for roiding. So there's that...

QUOTE(witesoxfan @ Nov 16, 2006 -> 01:24 AM) How bout worse? As in, way friggin worse? I was going to post the stats, but you can look for yourself. I'm not sure there's a statistic that Romero was better in at all. Seriously. Comparing him to the 2005 Damaso we knew and loved? He was arguably better against lefties. The 2005 Marte had a 1.7 whip with a .267 baa, 2006 Romero had a 1.2 whip with a .202 baa. And because he was so craptacular overall, he should come cheap. Noone's saying he would solidify the bullpen, but if you're looking for a loogy (like Walker), I don't think he's a bad option.

QUOTE(DBAH0 @ Nov 15, 2006 -> 11:44 PM) Isn't Ray King a FA this off-season? I know he's been mentioned on here before, back when he was pitching well for the Cards. Yeah. Also JC Romero, if you want to go a little more risk/reward. As bad as last year was, he was still good against lefties.

Well, since they're gonna have an of with both Dye and Hunter, may as well start finalizing that 2008 trophy. Everyone wants to be a Ranger. Typical new manager bs.

So if we got Heilman one of our targets would be Heilman? I suppose that's meant to be cute, but somehow it's not.

QUOTE(hammerhead johnson @ Nov 14, 2006 -> 01:02 AM) This video is hilarious: Leary Roast Meh... I've watched the Catholic thing 4 or 5 times. This, it's okay.

QUOTE(sox4lifeinPA @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 10:50 PM) These are the funniest ones I can find... They're really quotable and fun. I'm not a DC apologist, I just appreciate his humor. I'll take Patton Oswald on HBO ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. "This is Tom Carvel of Carvel Ice Cream Stores...just in time for the Timothy McVeigh Verdict..." Burger King "and the pickels....and sweet and sour sauce all over my body" DMV "In the Future everything will be instant...." Envy of a Snake "Ohhh, why not me?!?!" Round of Applause "She's not clapping!" See, now, the Catholic thing (BK???) and the DMV bit were pretty good. That's what I'm looking for. Much better.

QUOTE(The Critic @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 08:51 PM) I'll say it one more time, while rejecting your pity. I have no use for Beyonce or Eva if they're not nekkid. I don't enjoy Beyonce's singing or acting, and I don't enjoy Eva's acting. There are millions of good-looking women in the world, they're just two of them. Yeah.... Mind you, this goes well beyond singing and acting.... I still pity you.

QUOTE(The Critic @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 08:34 PM) Nekkid? yes. No?..........no. So Beyonce and EL on a table, in their naughties or with strategically placed banisters, is no better than staring at a breakfast nook? I pity you.

QUOTE(sox4lifeinPA @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 07:19 PM) wow, imagine that... people disagree about comedy. If you think Dane Cook is the funniest man alive, then ok. He has some of the funniest bits I've ever heard. If you think Dane Cook is the worst comedian alive, then ok. He has some of the biggest bombs out there too. The part of the article which I disliked most was in reference to "So where's the joke"? That's the kind of shortsightedness that probably happened when people stopped telling knock knock jokes and moved on to puns... Life is funny. Exaggerations are funny. Stories are funny. Sounds are funny. AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS is funny. Lighten up and laugh...especially Rolling Stone Magazine=the saddest bastards in the world, followed by Pitchforkmedia. I'd love a link to something funny. I have no problem with what you said (exag, stories, sounds -- AFHV, not so much), they certainly CAN be funny, but I've never seen Cook make them work. I was actually hoping a bunch of huge DC fans would bomb the thread with good youtube links. I find it hard to believe anyone can get this big w/o real talent, and I approach him like that, I've just found it dull every time.

QUOTE(maggliopipe @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 08:02 PM) I just don't get this. If I'm Hendry I am CLEANING HOUSE. You've got a team full of losers. It's like the Bulls who just kept losing and losing and Pax came in and cleared out all the losers, and they turned things around. Unless he's banking on Piniella being enough to change the mojo of that team 180 degrees, even aside from cost, I don't like these moves for them. Cub fans have gotta be getting tired of seeing these faces in their uniforms (especially Wood). It's not that Paxson just got rid of everyone because they were congenital losers, it's that noone could play d except Tyson, and his salary got out of whack. Ramirez is a great offensive player and a defensively average 3b. (Yes, even though he's made some bad looking plays.) But of course they'd be better with Scott Spiezio, since the Cards won the WS. Please...

QUOTE(sox4lifeinPA @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 07:23 PM) i wasn't calling you gay... I was just saying you'd rather see action than the scenery... (motion rather than the goods) (LumberJacks rather than forest critters) I have no idea what i'm talking about think about what you just wrote... a bunch of dudes hooting and hollering about two chicks getting it on. I'll give you time to chill. Just kidding around, I did understand, no need to chill. I don't think I've ever used seriously. A while ago, I don't know if you were posting a lot around that time, we had a troll who started whole conversations using smilies, and he/she particularly loved the . Ever since, it's my favorite faux-serious smiley.

QUOTE(sox4lifeinPA @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 07:04 PM) so you're a "roll over so I can stick it in" guy? (an actual quote from BBM) Wha??? If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting, no, I'm just with Ali G on this one. Total respek, I gots lots of their videos. And we were having such a mature conversation until now...

Is it possible to "confirm" something if you don't have any way of knowing for certain? Not at you, Tony, just at the story.

QUOTE(The Critic @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 06:37 PM) Those two bring nothing else to the table, IMO. I don't care how nice your furniture is, whatever they do on that table will be more interesting, nekkid or no.

QUOTE(CrimsonWeltall @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 06:47 PM) Dane Cook's best bit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2DYCgwoFik Are you a DC fan? B/c if that's really his best bit, no second chance for Mr Cook.

QUOTE(Kalapse @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 02:33 PM) Verlander took home the honors in the AL. I'm surprised Liriano finished so low. Only 1 first-place vote. What an amazing year for rookies.

QUOTE(Balta1701 @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 05:38 PM) How much stock does Theo put in Depodesta's computer? I don't think that's right. Drew isn't Scott Hatteberg. If he's healthy, he's an awesome player by any measure. It's just a gamble on health.

QUOTE(BobDylan @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 05:34 PM) How about all the people The Simpsons have had on their show but have made fun of? And South Park? Maybe they don't hate Will Ferrel, but they were certainly poking at him. Maybe Will Ferrel understands that, as an entertainer, he's liable to be the source of some jokes and he has an open mind about it. Edit: One time Kevin Smith even went as far as to say the "ultimate respect" is to be a character on the Simpsons. Sure, they're ridiculing him. No doubt. But that doesn't mean that their intent was to say that "EVERYTHING Will Ferrel does is drawn out, ridiculous, totally self-masturabatory and just not funny," which is all I'm saying. My take is that they like what he does in general but thought Bewitched was a pos. In other words, they're right. To sum up, I really didn't enjoy Dane Cook.

QUOTE(BobDylan @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 05:20 PM) The whole point of that skit was to draw it out because EVERYTHING Will Ferrel does is drawn out, ridiculous, totally self-masturabatory and just not funny. And Dane Cook sucks too. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the intent -- since they've had Ferrell voice a character on the show, I doubt they think he's terrible. And imo he's usually pretty good, but anyway, back to your main point, I agree about Cook.

QUOTE(Flash Tizzle @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 04:09 PM) Up until a recent special of Cook's on HBO (Vicious Circle) I've never seen his act. I can't say I was too impressed. He comes off as, well, the ghey. Anyone relate to his experience of having a "good cry" every once in awhile? He literally spent five minutes explaining this routine. I felt embarrassed just watching it on TV. You ever sit through a Family Guy skit where sometimes it continues WAY beyond the point of comic value? A particular episode which comes to mind is Stewie watching Will Ferrel at a theater, then spending several minutes traveling to his house, only to yell at it. This is essentially the same experience as watching Cook. Somtimes its funny, sometimes it isn't. I think I saw the same show. I sat through two bits. I expect to get a half-decent laugh within the first two bits. What sucks is that I was really expecting to enjoy it; I'm pretty easily amused. He IS energetic. Someone watching it with me was convinced he must have had some coke before going onstage. I don't know why I should be impressed by that. Otoh, that's one of my favorite Family Guy bits...

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 10:40 AM) Yawn. Chick flick, no thanks. It's the perfect solution -- the chick-on-chick flick.

QUOTE(Milkman delivers @ Nov 13, 2006 -> 12:44 AM) They're getting Wright, a starter, for $3 million. All they had to give up was a reliever. The O's really need starting pitching, and they just got themselves a guy who'll probably be decent and may even put up a semi-good year under his old pitching coach. Good deal for Baltimore. If he were average, or even pretty close, I'd agree, but he's been a good sight below average over most of his career. I don't see why you think he'll "probably be decent". You have nearly as good a chance with any retread. (Just look at what they got from Bruce Chen for a year.) If we were talking about a young erratic pitcher, okay, it might be a good risk. But Wright's not sticking around any longer than a year, unless he's bad enough to be really cheap. Why give up anything of value for that?