Best Man Speech

[Jimbo's Drinker]

this sucks

[RockRaines]

The best one I ever heard was more funny than serious. The guy went to the internet and bought a best man speech and then read it to the crowd, but instead of filling in the blanks he read it like "congratulations fill in the blank with bride and grooms names here." But then he got down to the congrats at the end of it. Its was pretty damn funny.

 

Whatever you do, dont start out a story in the speech by saying "this one time we were drinking."

[FlaSoxxJim]

Whatever you do, don't start out a story in the speech by saying "this one time we were double-teaming this hot waitress . . ."

 

Fixed.

 

[southsideirish71]

this sucks

 

I have done this 6 times now. The only tips I have are the following from giving these speeches, and from being at enough weddings were I have seen bad ones.

 

Things to avoid.

 

1.) Don't go into long drawn out stories about some myopic fact that happened when you were 7.

2.) Inside jokes, are meant to be kept inside.

3.) Never mention ex's, ex' girlfriends, or the drunken frat party you picked up a bunch of girls for a night of immorality.

4.) Dont get drunk before it. Slobbering and getting all emotional is not a good thing to see.

5.) Complement, but do not hit on, the bride as your friends choice for mate.

6.) Remember the brides first name, if you are going to quote it.

7.) No quotes from the bachelor party, no stories about your friend getting a lap dance, no mention of that night at all. It never happened, admit nothing, deny everything, and most of all demand strict proof.

8.) The speech is to honor the bride and groom, not to self promote yourself as the smartest, best looking, life of the party.

 

 

Things I have done that people have liked. Yes some of these are sappy. But my view is simple, play it safe. These are video taped, and will be around forever. So in my opinion, its better for longevity to play it safe, and do a traditional toast. You dont want them to replay this a few years later, and have them go Oh wow what an asshole.

 

 

1.) Welcoming the bride into your family, circle of friends.

2.) Telling the bride how lucky she is to have landed a friend/family member such as groom. Then reverse the line, and tell your friend how lucky he is to have found his perfect mate.

3.) Light humor, and I mean light humor. Do not attempt to make this a funny speech.

4.) Keep it under a few minutes at the most. If people start to pass out, you have gone to long.

5.) Remember to look at the couple during the toast.

6.) speak clearly, and dont mumble.

7.) Think of a nice closing toast line. Do not use this one "Here's to our wives and girlfriends:

May they never meet!" I have seen that one used at a wedding.

 

 

Remember, if you are a single guy and the best man. You will have an inside track on the resident hot girls at the wedding. Plus the speech is only a few minutes long. The bachelor party if planned right, can last all weekend.

Edited May 22, 2007 by southsideirish71

[CanOfCorn]

In my group of friends, at the bachelor party, we come up with words and phrases that the best man has to work into the speech. Some are just funny, some are dirty (and don't usually end up in the final speech, unless the Best Man is REALLY creative) and some only have meaning to us.

 

Each is assigned a point value depending on degree of difficulty incorporating it into the speech. As the best man gives the speech, our friend who's idea this was marks off the words used. In fact, at mine, one of the words was Bingo! but it had to be used by someone listening. It worked and he was awarded 5 points.

 

At the end, the points are tallied up and our friend, who is wealthy, gives the Best Man a choice, either take the value in dollars or he'll double it and give it to charity. I have to say, it's fun and hilarious to show the Sheet to other people after the speech is over, although you have to be careful with it, just in case it's too dirty.

 

I know this doesn't help, but I wanted to share our little game we play. As for your speech, just be yourself...try to be funny, but don't talk about certain things like exes. Good luck and congrats to your friend.

[EvilMonkey]

I've done it twice. it was hard to NOT say something that would embarrass my brother, juddling, at his. But I somehow managed. All the above advice is good. Short works best, and personal, with light humor is great. I don't remember much of what i said at the second one, but I was getting compliments on it all night.

[Jenksismyhero]

Also remember to always thank both sets of parents for the rehearsal dinner and reception.

[Controlled Chaos]

Mitch: "...glad and... Excuse me. I'd like to say I'm really glad and proud to be here tonight. I'm glad to see that Frank's dad made it out, that's awesome, I haven't seen him in like eight years. That's great, congratulations!"

Frank: "I love yau dad!"

Mitch: "True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you've found true love' and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego an a couple of new people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a bleep damn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend and it stops..."

Beanie: "It stops right there and it continues right here because what I think my friend Mitch is trying to say is that true love is blind. Let's raise our glasses, whatever we got in front of us. Salut, Health and happiness."

[RockRaines]

Oh and sleeper tip:

 

Use only in the right crowd: Complement the bride on having such a great looking wedding party. Makes it a lay up.

[LosMediasBlancas]

Mitch: "...glad and... Excuse me. I'd like to say I'm really glad and proud to be here tonight. I'm glad to see that Frank's dad made it out, that's awesome, I haven't seen him in like eight years. That's great, congratulations!"

Frank: "I love yau dad!"

Mitch: "True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you've found true love' and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego an a couple of new people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a bleep damn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend and it stops..."

Beanie: "It stops right there and it continues right here because what I think my friend Mitch is trying to say is that true love is blind. Let's raise our glasses, whatever we got in front of us. Salut, Health and happiness."

 

 

Beat me to it. Best scene in the film.

[SoxFan562004]

keep it short

[Wedge]

Whatever you do, don't reference to the Bride and Groom sleeping together. I was at a wedding and the mostly drunk Maid-of-Honor (and Bride's former roommate) referenced how great it was when the Groom would make them breakfast. I think Grandma and Mama just about had a heart attack.

[CanOfCorn]

David 'Dave' Veltri: Little news flash, Pop. Ha. Harold ain't so perfect. Remember that time in Puerto Rico when we picked up those two, uh... well, I guess they were prostitutes, but I don't remember paying.

 

Best guitar player in the wor-rld...yee-aahh.

[thedoctor]

whatever you do, don't read it. i've seen a few where guys read from cards or at least referred to cards and it was just lame. kind of defeats the purpose.

 

i don't think there's many general rules to heed other than respect the bride and her family. it is her day, after all (it is, it doesn't matter what anyone says) so make it special. i've given two of these and my approach was to relate a few clean stories, cut down by buddy, build up his wife then cut to the toast.

 

also, don't get super-loaded beforehand. just bad form.

[Middle Buffalo]

The best man speech should not be a roast of the groom. It also shouldn't be overly sappy. Leave sappy for the always horrible maid of honor speech - a practice that should be abolished.

 

Tips:

Before the wedding:

Make it a point to meet everyone in the wedding party (ever the weird cousin of the bride). Take time to talk to both of the sets of parents at the rehearsal dinner. Kind of hold off on the booze a little until you've gotten all the formalities out of the way. Make it obvious why you were selected as the best man.

 

At the wedding:

Welcome everyone. Talk about how you know the groom. Funny (clean) anecdote or two. Talk about the couple. Offer a toast to the couple.

 

The speech should be brief, but not so short that people who aren't paying attention will miss it completely. Make sure the room is reasonably quiet when you begin, don't just launch into your speech.

[GaelicSoxFan]

Remember: bachelor parties are like Las Vegas. Whatever happens there stays there.

[FlaSoxxJim]

Remember: bachelor parties are like Las Vegas. Whatever happens there stays there.**

 

** In both instances, STDs are an important exception to this general rule.

Edited May 23, 2007 by FlaSoxxJim