Mr. Showtime Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 QUOTE(southsideirish71 @ Jun 14, 2007 -> 05:33 PM) I will try to keep this as clean as I can, but it will be hard. My ex-fiancee a liar, a cheat, and it turns out a demon from hell was banging her boss, probably everyone else also. She stole some money from me. ***TIP TO ALL*** Make sure that you make your financial decisions based on sanity, not how flexible or depraved your fiancee is. Well after catching her in the act, I found out that she had stolen a good amount of money. So I hatched this plan, of trying to get my money back. I would pretend to be with her, and then act nice and convince her to get my money back. Stupid yes, but with a funny ending. After a month of being nice I realized that the demon wasn't going to give me my money without legal help. So I hatched a good plan to give her a romantic day of fun. I took her to the lake, we had a romantic picnic and the day was very nice. I took her home, and told her I still loved her and wanted her to be the mother of my children. She was touched. Very touched it seemed. I fended off the sex, talk about hard to do, but I was worried about the slim chance of pregnancy. So she still wanted to take care of me, and she did. And in her blinded state(you figure out why) afterwards, I told her that I was leaving. She screamed, and stumbled trying to get her vision back, you had me do that dirty act and then you told me you wanted to break up. I laughed and said well, I had to remember you for what you are. A foul and dirty whore. It was very appropriate the state I had left her. I told her she had until 5 o'clock tomorrow to get her s*** out or I was having it sold. She wound up marrying some goof after 2 months of dating him. It took me a while after to find someone worth trusting. Now it's clear why you want to fire Walker, you don't understand how a family works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory Pratt Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 QUOTE(southsideirish71 @ Jun 14, 2007 -> 05:33 PM) I will try to keep this as clean as I can, but it will be hard. My ex-fiancee a liar, a cheat, and it turns out a demon from hell was banging her boss, probably everyone else also. She stole some money from me. ***TIP TO ALL*** Make sure that you make your financial decisions based on sanity, not how flexible or depraved your fiancee is. Well after catching her in the act, I found out that she had stolen a good amount of money. So I hatched this plan, of trying to get my money back. I would pretend to be with her, and then act nice and convince her to get my money back. Stupid yes, but with a funny ending. After a month of being nice I realized that the demon wasn't going to give me my money without legal help. So I hatched a good plan to give her a romantic day of fun. I took her to the lake, we had a romantic picnic and the day was very nice. I took her home, and told her I still loved her and wanted her to be the mother of my children. She was touched. Very touched it seemed. I fended off the sex, talk about hard to do, but I was worried about the slim chance of pregnancy. So she still wanted to take care of me, and she did. And in her blinded state(you figure out why) afterwards, I told her that I was leaving. She screamed, and stumbled trying to get her vision back, you had me do that dirty act and then you told me you wanted to break up. I laughed and said well, I had to remember you for what you are. A foul and dirty whore. It was very appropriate the state I had left her. I told her she had until 5 o'clock tomorrow to get her s*** out or I was having it sold. She wound up marrying some goof after 2 months of dating him. It took me a while after to find someone worth trusting. That's sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShoeLessRob Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 QUOTE(southsideirish71 @ Jun 14, 2007 -> 05:33 PM) I will try to keep this as clean as I can, but it will be hard. My ex-fiancee a liar, a cheat, and it turns out a demon from hell was banging her boss, probably everyone else also. She stole some money from me. ***TIP TO ALL*** Make sure that you make your financial decisions based on sanity, not how flexible or depraved your fiancee is. Well after catching her in the act, I found out that she had stolen a good amount of money. So I hatched this plan, of trying to get my money back. I would pretend to be with her, and then act nice and convince her to get my money back. Stupid yes, but with a funny ending. After a month of being nice I realized that the demon wasn't going to give me my money without legal help. So I hatched a good plan to give her a romantic day of fun. I took her to the lake, we had a romantic picnic and the day was very nice. I took her home, and told her I still loved her and wanted her to be the mother of my children. She was touched. Very touched it seemed. I fended off the sex, talk about hard to do, but I was worried about the slim chance of pregnancy. So she still wanted to take care of me, and she did. And in her blinded state(you figure out why) afterwards, I told her that I was leaving. She screamed, and stumbled trying to get her vision back, you had me do that dirty act and then you told me you wanted to break up. I laughed and said well, I had to remember you for what you are. A foul and dirty whore. It was very appropriate the state I had left her. I told her she had until 5 o'clock tomorrow to get her s*** out or I was having it sold. She wound up marrying some goof after 2 months of dating him. It took me a while after to find someone worth trusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory Pratt Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 It amazes me what people will do to one another and justify. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LowerCaseRepublican Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 I dated a girl from a sorority during my first senior year (the education program was 2 years which meant I had to pull a mandatory 5th year) She came from a very respectable North Shore family and me...well, not so much. After a couple dates and being very cordial and gentlemanly, she decided to invite me to her home for dinner. She knew that I was a big film fan and she said she was a big comedy fan, so I grabbed some Bill Hicks and one of my favorite films that she explicitly said she wanted to see and I was out the door. So, it was the wintertime and I drove over to her home. I walked in and got the introductions and was immediately handed a huge glass of wine. Her mother was making pasta for dinner and I saw her adding vodka to the sauce -- and when she was done, taking a swig out of the bottle that would making a binging frat boy blush and then projectile vomit all over the place like spattering pop art. So, trying to get that image out of my head, I sat down with my girlfriend and her dad. We had the small talk for a while about my major, what my career plans were, etc. Then, he started asking me about all these historical biographies I never read and don't care to read which was his attempt to really try to grill me. He then asked who my favorite President was. I told him "William Henry Harrison because he never did anything to ruin the country during his administration." Needless to say, this just pissed him off. Luckily dinner arrives and we sit down to yet another glass of wine and a heaping load of pasta and sauce. I take a big bite of the pasta and realize that the mother did not give enough time for the vodka to burn off in the sauce. Every bite I took just got me more and more hammered as the night went on with the wine and the vodkapasta. Then, the mother and the father started asking me more questions about my personal philosophies, what I planned to do after college, how I planned being around their daughter. It was so surreal. It was like an interrogation where you're getting fed liquor the whole time and still have to be on yor toes at at the best of your game. More wine and more pasta kept being given to me without me asking for it. We finish dinner and we decide to go watch our films. She liked Night of the Living Dead and then we decided to go for the comedy. I popped in this Bill Hicks DVD. She didn't laugh or even smile the entire 45 minute set. She asked me how I could laugh at something like that or even like something like that. We decided that it'd be best if I left. So, I went to leave but the snow was outrageous. I spent the night sleeping in an empty extra room on a really small bed with no blanket. Damn, it sucked. The next morning, I was hungover as s***, declined their breakfast and then got the Hell out. After that, we didn't speak for a few days so I gave her a call. She said she did not want to see me anymore because when people hang out after dark (and then she got in this hushed tone on the phone), it implies that those two people are...and then she hesitated. After a little prodding, she said "It implies that we're having sex!" The gut laugh I had as a result was one of the deepest, heartiest and most healthy that I have ever experienced in my entire life. I feel better not being around boozehound parents and people that thought such things. Who knew that by her standard we're all whores? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxySoxGirl Posted June 15, 2007 Author Share Posted June 15, 2007 Holy s***..that is soooo hillarious. Seems like something you'd see on 90210 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 (edited) This one is not a breakup story, but it is a scary story. And it involves a person who was (don’t laugh) the first real love of my life and someone who I have managed to stay close to even years after the time we were involved. Anyway, I was ‘her first’ and she was my second and we dated for a couple of years before she was ‘ready’. It turned out her reluctance had more to do with her huge fear of getting pregnant than anything else, but it was that same fear that ended up putting her at risk. When we finally became intimate her fear of pregnancy was so all-consuming that in the beginning she always made me wear TWO rubbers in case one broke. I had a practical concern that the friction of the TWO rubbers against each other would probably be an issue, but I had an even bigger concern that if I refused her request that I’d not be gittin’ any, so I would go along with it. Well, sure enough, on a couple of occasions, once we’d be done and we’d go to our corners I’d look down and see the tattered remains of two failed rubbers flapping in the wind. I never told her when it happened because she’d have freaked out and died and instead I would just sweat it out on my own every month. Luckily that phase didn’t last too long, but every time she’d tell me to wear two to be safe I would get a knot in my stomach. The same girl tore my still-beating heart out with her bare hands and stomped it to a bloody pulp about a year later, but like I said, we got past it and are still friends. Edited June 15, 2007 by FlaSoxxJim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsideirish71 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 (edited) QUOTE(Gregory Pratt @ Jun 14, 2007 -> 06:32 PM) That's sad. Well the b**** stole 15k, plus a 10k ring. That was sad. Me sweating aids tests for the next few years because of the first girl I didn't have safe sex with, my pseudo future wife who turned out to be a dirty whore. Now that was sad. A splash in the face, and a laugh and the boot from me was priceless. Edited June 15, 2007 by southsideirish71 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory Pratt Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Hey, I can sympathize with you a little, but what you did was still immature, as immature and dishonest as anything she did. Glad you didn't get AIDS. (Assuming you didn't.) Hope you didn't. (It's such a terrible disease. And I know from good, close, second-hand sources.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosMediasBlancas Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 I have a million. One of my favorites involves a first (and only) date with this girl. We went to dinner and then to a bar for drinks. I thought things were going well, except that I kept losing her at the bar and would find her talking to other people. Long story short, she hit it off and left with some other dude at the bar. I should have seen it coming since when I met her and she gave me her number, there was a very pissed off looking guy standing behind her. Apparently she met guys so they'd take her out and...um, she could meet more guys I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsideirish71 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 QUOTE(Gregory Pratt @ Jun 15, 2007 -> 12:00 AM) Hey, I can sympathize with you a little, but what you did was still immature, as immature and dishonest as anything she did. Glad you didn't get AIDS. (Assuming you didn't.) Hope you didn't. (It's such a terrible disease. And I know from good, close, second-hand sources.) You can say what I did was spiteful, sure I will buy that. But that is all you can say on it. Saying that what she did is equal to my retailiation is a joke. Have someone take 25k from you. Find out about it say a month before your wedding date. Oh btw the 25k doesnt include my wedding reception for 150. Oh and the reason I caught her in the first place, the silly b**** was fired from her job, was acting like she was going to work everyday, and then was coming back after I went to work, and then would have naked time until a few hours before I came home. I called her work, and the voicemail was finally changed when they hired someone new. Thank god for that. One more crazy thing, and this makes no sense. I got a call about 4 months later from the Wayside chapel trying to get money from me for a missed wedding. I was supposed to get married in the church. When I called up the Wayside chapel, they said that my ex and some man that was supposedly me came in, signed documents and were planning on getting married. That is crazy wierd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory Pratt Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 That is f***ed up. And I do take it back about spitefulness. I'm not criticizing you too harshly. We all take revenge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrunkBomber Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 QUOTE(santo=dorf @ Jun 14, 2007 -> 06:32 AM) One of the guys in my fantasy league's buddy found out his girlfriend was cheating on him with JEFF GARCIA, so he went to his house in Cleveland and punched him out. I call bulls*** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosMediasBlancas Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 QUOTE(DrunkBomber @ Jun 15, 2007 -> 12:19 AM) I call bulls*** Didn't Garcia have some off the field problems involving women? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory Pratt Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 I have trouble believing that an Average Joe can punch out a professional football player (or many other pro athletes). I take Santo's word for it, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gene Honda Civic Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 QUOTE(Mr. Showtime @ Jun 14, 2007 -> 03:40 PM) You we're the one getting married, Cheat? No way. I can't really ever imagine myself married. Though maybe if things had worked out differently that night... We're friends now, which would have seemed strange at the time. I don't think I've ever had so much to drink as I did in that three day weekend. Between the wedding and drowning my sorrows for 2 straight days, I'm surprised I didn't end up in a hospital with Alcohol poisoning. And, I'm deleting the previous post. It doesn't need to be on the internet for all to see. I don't air dirty laundry. That was out of character. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Controlled Chaos Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Since all these aren't really funny ex stories I could share this one.. Well it wasn't so much an ex, more of a one night stand and I had no idea what I was getting in to. A friend of a friend brought this girl out. She had just moved into his apartment complex and didn't know anybody so he invited her out. I knew he was interested in her, but she was not interested in him. She was H-O-T hot. She was a model and had just signed a contract with Revlon. Anyway, as the night goes on we get to talking and she's flirting with me and I'm flirting with her back. My friends friend got pissed, but whatever...she wasn't into him. So one thing leads to another bada bing bada boom, I'm leaving her place the next morning. At this point all is well. The chick was fine and really cool, I wasn't intending on it to be a one and done kinda thing. I liked her, but had no idea about her past. I talked to her a couple days later and well that was a night I would never forget. I guess she was running away from her ex boyfriend. He used to beat her and s***. She was suppose to testify against him in court for a burglary that coming week. Last time she had to testify he was able to grab her as she was walking into the court house and he punched her in the head. She kept saying he is after her and he was gonna tell the court she was involved in the burglary's and he was gonna kill her...she was going to jail...yada yada yada. There was tons of s*** she was telling me about him and she was petrified. At this point I'm thinking... cut and run. I don't want to deal with all this drama. I mean she was fine, but I don't need some psycho dude ex con, wanting to kill me. Then she started freaking out on the phone and started saying things hinting she would rather just end it then go through all this. How she only wishes she met me before and her life could've been so much different and I shouldn't get involved with her cause her life is s***....etc etc etc. The more she starts talking the more I realize how serious she is and if I hang this phone up, there could be some dire consequences. I talk it out with her for another hour or so...She still didn't seem ok to me, but she wanted to get off the phone. Said she was just going to take a bath and relax. I was like ok, but I'm gonna call you in 15 minutes to see if you're ok. I did and she answered, but still didn't seem right to me. I didn't really know what the hell to do, I mean really this is only the second time I ever talked to this chick, but my stomach was turning thinking she could be trying to kill herself. I told her I'm coming over right now...she's like no no...I'm fine...I was like you don't sound fine...I'll just come by until your roommate gets home. I called my one friend before I left(no cell phones back then) and told him to call his buddy that lived in the complex and send him over there. I guess he wasn't home though. I race over there and she is laying on her kitchen floor...blood all over, barely conscious. She slit her wrists with a knife. She also had cuts on her thighs. I'm like holy s***. I called 911, I didn't even know her address, I just said trace the call and gave the apt #. They told me to try and stop the bleeding. I got some dish towels and wrapped them around her wrists and just kept pressure on em. I kept talking to her, and she would kinda just mumble, but some words would come out. She said she cut her legs while she was in the tub. I could tell those cuts weren't really deep, but the blood was dried up down her whole legs to her ankles. Here I am at 17 yr's old, sitting in puddle of blood, holding this girl I don't really even know telling her to stay with me and everything is going to be ok. Actually, I didn't even know what words to say, things started coming to me from movies I had seen when someone was dying. The ambulance got there and they were asking information on her and I was like I don't even know her last name. I found some mail on the counter and gave them her last name from that. I followed the ambulance to the hospital, but really didn't know what the heck to do. I mean I am of no relation to this girl...I'm sitting in the waiting room thinking I should just bolt. I would go have a smoke, contemplate leaving and then go back in. After a bit, the ambulance guys saw me and told me great job, you just saved a life. About an hour and a half later, her family eventually got there and then her roommate got there and her roommate saw me in the waiting room and guessed who I was. The doctor told us all that if I hadn't got there when I did, she wouldn't have made it. Her parents were crying and came and hugged me said thanks for saving my daughters life. She went into the psych ward after that. A few weeks later her roommate called me and asked me to go visit her. I saw her and she seemed to be doing better. She thanked me over and over and seemed to feel her life could get back on track, but she was going to be in there awhile. I never heard from her again after that though. I think she just wanted to see me and get some closure. I hope her life has turned out ok. So yeah I guess that qualifies as a pretty messed up ex story. One day I'm thinking 'Hell yeah', I just hooked up with a model and a couple days later she is bleeding all over me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory Pratt Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 You're a good man to have taken her to the hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrunkBomber Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Jun 15, 2007 -> 12:29 AM) Didn't Garcia have some off the field problems involving women? Hes dating a playmate and I heard the two of them ran into one of his exes at a bar and the playate attacked his ex and got arrested. i would have loved to be at the bar that it happened at. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Showtime Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 QUOTE(Gene Honda Civic @ Jun 15, 2007 -> 12:46 AM) No way. I can't really ever imagine myself married. Though maybe if things had worked out differently that night... We're friends now, which would have seemed strange at the time. I don't think I've ever had so much to drink as I did in that three day weekend. Between the wedding and drowning my sorrows for 2 straight days, I'm surprised I didn't end up in a hospital with Alcohol poisoning. And, I'm deleting the previous post. It doesn't need to be on the internet for all to see. I don't air dirty laundry. That was out of character. Ah, well good to hear it wasn't you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wedge Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Jun 14, 2007 -> 11:29 PM) Didn't Garcia have some off the field problems involving women? Wasn't his off the field problem that he was involved with men? Or is that just an urban legend from being the SF QB? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodAsGould Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 So the real question is, how many of these stories are actually true and how many are made up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Wow Chaos, what a story. I'm very proud of 17-year-old Chaos! QUOTE(SoxFan101 @ Jun 15, 2007 -> 01:04 PM) So the real question is, how many of these stories are actually true and how many are made up Mine is, and I'm quite happy we didn't have the kids to prove it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 LoL, I'd tell you guys my story of how I met a girl and still am with her after two years while successfully transforming her into a Sox fan, but I doubt any of you would believe me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrunkBomber Posted June 16, 2007 Share Posted June 16, 2007 QUOTE(Wedge @ Jun 15, 2007 -> 11:57 AM) Wasn't his off the field problem that he was involved with men? Or is that just an urban legend from being the SF QB? I think that was more of an urban legend from TO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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