I s*** you not.

 

http://www.bugsandcranks.com/chicago-white...ox-jerry-owens/

 

Rx for Slow Sox = Jerry Owens

Posted by John Renneke in Chicago White Sox

April 30th, 2008

My first impression of seeing the White Sox play in person for the first time this year is this – damn this team is slow!

 

I’ve been watching the team on television all year, but objects on tv can appear to move faster than they actually are in reality. My perception may also be off due to the games I’ve watched on Tivo and have fast-forwarded through some slow parts of the game.

 

Paul Konerko runs a 4.2 40 in fast-forward mode. The only problem is that translates to about 9.6 in actual time.

 

The Sox have survived without any significant speed because of great starting pitching and by hitting a ton of home runs. But it was glaringly obvious in this series against Minnesota that the Sox have little chance to score runs without the ball leaving the yard. When the Sox head west to play in the spacious ballparks of California and Safeco Field in Seattle in the next two months, this could become a very serious problem.

 

Unless the Sox decide to pull off some type of blockbuster deal right now, the only possible solution to the problem is that Jerry Owens is recalled from AAA and inserted into the starting lineup immediately. I would even prefer if he took over for Nick Swisher as the leadoff man. Swisher was doing a decent job in that spot for a while, but it’s clearly not where he feels most comfortable in the lineup and he’s been struggling lately.

 

Looking at the current Sox lineup, it’s not easy to figure out how to get Owens into the lineup though. Carlos Quentin is tearing the cover off the ball lately and Swisher and Jermaine Dye are currently filling up the other outfield spots.

 

But the fact is that the only reason Quentin even made the opening day roster was because of the injury to Owens. Quentin doesn’t bring any unique skills to the current lineup. He’s basically just another slugger that can hit for decent average from time to time but would only attempt to steal a base in extreme conditions. That pretty much describes every hitter in the Sox lineup other than Orlando Cabrera. Inserting Owens gives the lineup a different dimension.

 

With aging veterans Dye, Konerko and Jim Thome all requiring frequent days off in order to stay healthy, Quentin would still likely get three or four starts a week even with Owens in the everyday lineup.

 

If I remember correctly, Owens made his debut last season at Toronto. I’d be happy to see the same thing happen again in this weekend’s four game set at the Skydome. With Alexei Ramirez unable to make the trip due to Visa problems, it would make a lot of sense to give Owens some time with the big club. The other possibility is Josh Fields.

Hopefully that is that guys last article.

I'm thinking about chopping my foot off. Why? I don't know. It doesn't make a lick of sense. Kinda like this article. I think Jerry Owens paid this dude to write this crap.

Terrible...terrible. The guy leads the AL in plenty of offensive slugging categories and he's the guy you want benched. Wow.

Wow

Is this April Fools on May 1?

Jerry Owens being as absolutely good as he can be -- at what he does best -- would be exactly what this team needs.

 

few would dispute that.

 

 

 

This said, you cant lose Quentin. If there was a way of getting JO here, I would want to try it. But there doesnt seem to be.

 

 

 

I'm sure Thome's back will oblige and let us experiment for a week at some point. Or maybe Paulie just never gets back to former form.

Edited May 1, 200817 yr by Princess Dye

Please correct John

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I almost laughed out loud reading that. I want a bona fide, full-blown leadoff hitter on this team as much as anyone else, but this is probably one of the worst pieces of baseball analysis I have ever seen. Ever.

Please correct John

SEND FEEDBACK

 

Are you allowed to send personal insults?

 

I read it as sarcasm like the Onion.

 

 

Are you allowed to send personal insults?

 

is that all you got? This guy deserves far worse .

I read it as sarcasm like the Onion.

 

But the fact is that the only reason Quentin even made the opening day roster was because of the injury to Owens. Quentin doesn’t bring any unique skills to the current lineup.

 

Noooooo, his ridiculous OBP isnt unique at all

Jerry Owens being as absolutely good as he can be -- at what he does best -- would be exactly what this team needs.

 

few would dispute that.

 

What's Jerry Owens' peak? Therein lies the problem. I would say Jerry Owens' ceiling is that of a 4th outfielder/fringe starter. Sorta like Nook Logan.

Should be called BS and Crap instead of Bugs and Cranks. They obviously do not have any clue how good Quentin has been.

Noooooo, his ridiculous OBP isnt unique at all

 

His sexiness is completely unique though, so this dude is wrong on like 6 different levels.

I sure wish Owens could play 2nd base.

 

 

CQ deserves to be in the line-up, just like BA deserves to be on the team.

What's Jerry Owens' peak? Therein lies the problem. I would say Jerry Owens' ceiling is that of a 4th outfielder/fringe starter. Sorta like Nook Logan.

If his peak is that of Curtis Granderson and he has some inside information we're not aware of (like the theft of Granderson's DNA, something like that) then we're on to something.

No way he can be that dense. Its got to either be a joke, or he's just so desperate for hit count that he's decided to jump the shark for it.

 

This has to be a joke. The Sox would have to be the dumbest team in history to bench Quentin, who is #1 in the AL in OPS and OBP, for Jerry f***ing Owens. There is no way this guy could be serious.

Edited May 1, 200817 yr by StrangeSox

Jerry Owens being as absolutely good as he can be -- at what he does best -- would be exactly what this team needs.

 

few would dispute that.

Actually few would support that. He's a slap hitting 4th OF'er, injecting a nook logan or a Joey Gathright into this lineup isnt going to do anything positive to the lineup.

hmmm.... I didn't find Jerry Owen's name in this sportsnation poll. http://sports.espn.go.com/chat/sportsnatio...g?event_id=3476

 

1) Who was the majors' top player in April?

 

Rafael Furcal, Dodgers

Josh Hamilton, Rangers

Conor Jackson, Diamondbacks

Chipper Jones, Braves

Derrek Lee, Cubs

Nate McLouth, Pirates

Albert Pujols, Cardinals

Carlos Quentin, White Sox

Manny Ramirez, Red Sox

Chase Utley, Phillies

 

 

 

edit: look at the names he is next to

Edited May 1, 200817 yr by rangercal

I had to double check the date of the article. April 30th. This guy should be banned from the internet.