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Steff
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Is a second baby shower tacky?

 

Jim's sisters daughter is having another baby (3rd - a girl - she has 2 boys under 6) and they are throwing her a shower. The reason (they said this) is because she doesn't have any girl stuff...?? :huh

 

Am I crazy or is that just plain stupid logic?

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QUOTE(Steff @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 11:23 AM)
Is a second baby shower tacky?

 

Jim's sisters daughter is having another baby (3rd - a girl - she has 2 boys under 6) and they are throwing her a shower. The reason (they said this) is because she doesn't have any girl stuff...??  :huh

 

Am I crazy or is that just plain stupid logic?

 

I think the etiquette surrounding this situation changes with the families. Some people think they need a baby shower every time they have a kid, some people think just one time. Others have baby showers everytime, but dont ask for gifts after the first baby, they just want everyone to get together to celebrate.

 

I dont think it is really tacky, but thats just me.

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Its more common nowadays than it ever has been, but still isn't looked at too highly as I understand it. To be honest the way I had it explained to me, the poorer you are, the less down it is looked upon.

 

It used to be this never happened, but those kind of old traditions are slowly fading away. I know its expensive to raise a baby, and I could understand this in some cases...

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QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 12:27 PM)
Its more common nowadays than it ever has been, but still isn't looked at too highly as I understand it.  To be honest the way I had it explained to me, the poorer you are, the less down it is looked upon.

 

It used to be this never happened, but those kind of old traditions are slowly fading away.  I know its expensive to raise a baby, and I could understand this in some cases...

I agree.

 

I think it's tacky if the people aren't in a financial situation where they need it. . .

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QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 10:27 AM)
Its more common nowadays than it ever has been, but still isn't looked at too highly as I understand it.  To be honest the way I had it explained to me, the poorer you are, the less down it is looked upon.

 

It used to be this never happened, but those kind of old traditions are slowly fading away.  I know its expensive to raise a baby, and I could understand this in some cases...

 

 

 

It's 2006... if you can't afford a 3rd child.. take measures not to have one... JMO.

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Having a party to celebrate the coming of another child seems nice to me. I'm in favor of everyone celebrating new life, beats the worse case alternative by a mile. So if we are starting new traditions, I like this one.

 

Edited to add, maybe not calling it a shower would help people to be more comfortable with the idea?

Edited by Texsox
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we had two before our daughter was born, but that was primarily because i'm from chicago and my wife (now ex-wife) was from ohio. we did one here and one in chicago.

 

other than that and a clear case of need, i can't see the purpose of two.

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QUOTE(Texsox @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 10:29 AM)
Having a party to celebrate the coming of another child seems nice to me. I'm in favor of everyone celebrating new life, beats the worse case alternative by a mile. So if we are starting new traditions, I like this one.

 

 

After what we all just dealth with I'm in favor of a party to celebrate as well.. but a shower " to get girl stuff cause she doesn't have any" I find icky.

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QUOTE(thedoctor @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 10:31 AM)
we had two before our daughter was born, but that was primarily because i'm from chicago and my wife (now ex-wife) was from ohio. we did one here and one in chicago.

 

other than that and a clear case of need, i can't see the purpose of two.

 

 

 

My sister had 3 before her first (her job, florida (where she lived at the time), and here in Illinois). I think that's OK.

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QUOTE(Steff @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 10:31 AM)
After what we all just dealth with I'm in favor of a party to celebrate as well.. but a shower " to get girl stuff cause she doesn't have any" I find icky.

 

I can see that, I think calling it something else would probably be appropriate. I'd cringe at telling everyone that reason.

 

BTW, will the dad-to-be also be invited? I love that new tradition of inviting the guy to the Wedding and Baby showers.

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QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 10:34 AM)
I personally agree 100%, but not everyone thinks like that unfortunately.  I know we are having the talk about getting one of us fixed right now.

 

 

I think you guys met Beth.. not the sharpest tool in the shed, and both children she already has have serious developmental issues (and the DR's have hinted at this one having DS with major retardation). She's the "poor me" one in the family.

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QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 11:34 AM)
I personally agree 100%, but not everyone thinks like that unfortunately.  I know we are having the talk about getting one of us fixed right now.

 

Someday, they will come up with a way to say that and not make me feel ill. I dont have any problems with it, relatives have had the procedure, but just the thought of it makes me uneasy.

 

there just isnt an easy or nice way to say "vasectomy"

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QUOTE(Texsox @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 10:34 AM)
I can see that, I think calling it something else would probably be appropriate. I'd cringe at telling everyone that reason.

 

BTW, will the dad-to-be also be invited? I love that new tradition of inviting the guy to the Wedding and Baby showers.

 

 

And that's the problem.. they had NO PROBLEM telling everyone that. Ugh.. my jaw hit the floor when they said that. :headshake

 

No idea if hubby will be involved.

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QUOTE(kyyle23 @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 10:37 AM)
Someday, they will come up with a way to say that and not make me feel ill.  I dont have any problems with it, relatives have had the procedure, but just the thought of it makes me uneasy. 

 

there just isnt an easy or nice way to say "vasectomy"

 

 

 

"snipped". ;)

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QUOTE(kyyle23 @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 11:37 AM)
Someday, they will come up with a way to say that and not make me feel ill.  I dont have any problems with it, relatives have had the procedure, but just the thought of it makes me uneasy. 

 

there just isnt an easy or nice way to say "vasectomy"

 

Nope, and that's why I don't even waste my keyboard trying to sugarcoat it. :bang

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My wife will end up having several small showers, and I don't think that's wrong - one at her parents - that way her parents friends who can't travel as far will be able to 'participate', the girls at her work want to have one for her, and then we're having one in Dallas where most people will attend.

 

But we wouldn't dream of having one for the next baby. That's crazy.

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QUOTE(Steff @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 11:39 AM)
"snipped".  ;)

 

See, when you say fixed, snipped, cut, manhood taken away, vasectomy, and I just get this "my balls are about to be kicked" feeling. Not good. They need to rename it. Something along the lines of "massage with a feather". You know, so that when I go in, i wont have any idea of how bad it will be. And when I wake up(because there is no f***ing way in hell I would do that procedure while awake) I will think that I have been massaged with a feather. Its all about the psychology of the patient. Dont make him feel like he is getting his balls removed, and maybe he wont feel like his balls are being removed.

 

Excuse me, I have to go walk around and appreciate myself.

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QUOTE(kapkomet @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 11:42 AM)
My wife will end up having several small showers, and I don't think that's wrong - one at her parents - that way her parents friends who can't travel as far will be able to 'participate', the girls at work want to have one for her, and then we're having one in Dallas where most people will attend.

 

But we wouldn't dream of having one for the next baby.  That's crazy.

 

I don't think the problem is with having multiple showers for the same kid, its with having them for multiple kids...

 

BTW, if I don't catch you guys, good luck on Friday!

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QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 04:44 PM)
I don't think the problem is with having multiple showers for the same kid, its with having them for multiple kids...

 

BTW, if I don't catch you guys, good luck on Friday!

She needs to eat a lot of sugar or something before-hand. That way the baby will move around a lot instead of just sleeping like the last one.

 

We had our cat incident last night. She was sitting there watching tv, and Cassie walked up to her to lay down on her lap, and got all pissed off when the baby moved around, because the cat couldn't settle down. It was funny.

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It's tacky to have another shower. If she want's girl stuff, she can have a "meet the baby" party or invite people who would have attended the shower to the baptism (if she does that). People will bring girl stuff.

 

If she's looking to get girl stuff, the best advice I can give is garage sales. I'm not kidding. People have stuff that has hardly ever been worn (often with tags still on) that's perfectly good for a baby. My wife did this. Saved us a ton of money.

 

FYI, if you buy stuff at a garage sale with the tags still on, and you don't like it, you can return it to the store most times and get store credit.

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QUOTE(kapkomet @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 11:47 AM)
She needs to eat a lot of sugar or something before-hand.  That way the baby will move around a lot instead of just sleeping like the last one.

 

We had our cat incident last night.  She was sitting there watching tv, and Cassie walked up to her to lay down on her lap, and got all pissed off when the baby moved around, because the cat couldn't settle down.  It was funny.

 

LMAO. That sounds like the kitten laying on Ang's stomach while she was pregnant. The cat was purring right above the baby, so the baby started to move around and kick, so what do the cat do? Attack where the baby was kicking from. (the cat is front declawed, so no one was harmed) it was pretty damned funny.

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QUOTE(Steff @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 10:38 AM)
And that's the problem.. they had NO PROBLEM telling everyone that. Ugh.. my jaw hit the floor when they said that.  :headshake

 

No idea if hubby will be involved.

 

I would have died of embarrasment for her. I think regardless of the circuimstances, saying your having a shower (1st 2nd, 3rd, etc) because they need stuff, is tacky. Although I've always described showers as middle class wedding and pregnancy insurance. We paid and paid so it was nice to receive and receive. :D

 

My family looks for any excuse to throw a party. I don't remember if we ever had multiple "showers" for anyone. I do remember a second wedding shower for a friend of mine, but that was because his first wife was a (damn I'm trying to only say nice things) she was a, she was a *GREAT* ex-wife and ex-friend we didn't have to deal with anymore. :)

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QUOTE(Texsox @ Feb 14, 2006 -> 10:57 AM)
I would have died of embarrasment for her. I think regardless of the circuimstances, saying your having a shower (1st 2nd, 3rd, etc) because they need stuff, is tacky.

 

 

Embarrased for her... hehe.. she's the one that suggested having the damn thing!!! This one.. is quite the piece of work. This is the one that brought her kid ONE DAY removed from puking his guts out with the stomach flu to our house on X-mas eve, got everyone sick and we couldn't visit Joey for a week!!

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