AbeFroman Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 As I'm reading through some of the other responses, I agree that its important to stay friends with her, but do not stay good friends with her. Act like an acquaintance. Datings really best summed up by the infamous lines of Vince Vaughn in Swingers: You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip. I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's REALLY hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet... you're not sure where he's coming from." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxySoxGirl Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 Trying to be someone's good or best friend after a break-up when you're in love with them and they feel nothing romantically for you is never a good idea. I never really believed in the saying "If you love something let it go and if it was meant to be it'll come back to you" until I've seen it actually happen. If you two are meant to be together you'll find your way back to each other. It's a small world and you'll bump into each other somewhere somehow and you can take it from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 14, 2006 Author Share Posted August 14, 2006 still havnt got a call yet from her.. beginning to wonder if ill even get one haha... oh well... so as of now were still us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockRaines Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 03:07 PM) Alright so I've been seeing this girl for almost 6 months and i learn last night that she's probably going to break up with me very soon. The weird thing is we have been through this before, we went out for 2 months, broke up, she figured out she liked me again and here we are again on the brink again or whatever. I mean I know I wont be with her forever, I just wanted to stay with her throughout high school before I go to college. She says she dosnt see me as the boyfriend type anymore all the sudden, same thing happened last time. The thing is I still have serious feelings for her and feel that maybe eventually over time I could love this girl. I can't stand the thought of not being with her and somebody else even having the chance to. Heck even my parents adore her. I've pretty much given everything shes ever asked for but I guess sometimes its not enough. She will still want to be great friends and everything but I'm a pretty greedy guy and that just dosnt seem good enough for me. On the phone tonight were supposed to talk and I dont know if she plans on breaking up tonight or not, but I know its supposed to be very soon. If someone could give me some advice on what to say, what not to say, and just maybe someway to save our relationship would be very much appreciated. Thanks PS- i really wanna try to save this relationship with her if I somehow can. but let me have it i suppose. Seriously, if you want advice from someone who has been through many relationships, good and bad. Fact is, there are lots of women out there. You may think this is the one, or your life will end if she leaves you, but most likely in a few years you will look back and laugh at your reaction and your feelings. My advice to you, be single, have fun, learn more about yourself and when you are ready, a new relationship will find you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 07:27 PM) Its not really the guys steff, its these psycho teenage girls! ahaha.. ok jk Takes 2 to tango.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LowerCaseRepublican Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(SnB @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 07:56 PM) will do man, considering i'm still underage and the person i usually went to bars with pussied out and graduated (wink wink), I'll be up for that. Thanks for making me feel old /drinks a beer just out of spite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSHAWKS Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 (edited) QUOTE(AbeFroman @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 08:01 PM) Here's the thing... The goal of any good break up plan is to break it up for good AND at the same time, preserve the opportunity for meaningless sex down the road. In my life, I've found that the best thing to do is to react very calmly, and try to surprise her with how little it seems to bother you. Then find some other chick to hook up with... avoid the old chick for a while, but make sure she finds out through her friends that you're on to the next one. Always be cool.... friendly, but distant. Eventually, one day in college when you're home from spring break getting loaded in you're buddies basement and she's there, you'll remember that she probably is wondering why you took the break-up so well... then add alcohol, and you'll probably nail her. As an aside, I recommend trying not to have any real feelings about a girl until sometime in the later half of college. There's no reason to let a real relationship with all kinds of crappy emotion junk tie you down when you want to go out drinking with the dudes from your frat or your dorm floor. Odds are, if you never actually date the girls, word will get out among chicks that you're a mystery... then a these dumb girls will want to be the one to tame you... figure you out. I have no idea what the hell goes on in thier minds that this happens, but its the way things work. good luck. and remember, anything worth doing is worth doing to excess. Excellent post. This is a text book hookup manuever taught in Cheap Sex:101. Of course, like any well drawn up play, the key here is in the execution. He_Gawn, you must remember not to do anything silly, like pouring out your heart to this girl. In fact, it is best not to have feelings of the heart. Ever. About anything. Women and children can afford to have these feelings, but not young men looking to get laid. Anyway, good luck and keep us posted. Oh, and if things start to get nasty when you and this girl do break up and its clear there is nothing physical on the horizon for you two, tell her you slept with her best friend. Even if its not true, it will linger in her mind forever, hopefully driving a wedge between the once inseperable friends. I know it seems childish, but she's f***ing with your head right now. You should be enjoying a 3 game sweep of the Tigers, but instead you're fretting about this girl's phone call, which may or may not come tonight. You can't even enjoy the fact that we pulled within 5.5 games. Who does this b**** think she is, denying you that simple pleasure. Edited August 14, 2006 by MSHAWKS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WHarris1 Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 (edited) QUOTE(MSHAWKS @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 11:02 PM) Oh, and if things start to get nasty when you and this girl do break up and its clear there is nothing physical on the horizon for you two, tell her you slept with her best friend. Even if its not true, it will linger in her mind forever, hopefully driving a wedge between the once inseperable friends. I know it seems childish, but she's f***ing with your head right now. You should be enjoying a 3 game sweep of the Tigers, but instead you're fretting about this girl's phone call, which may or may not come tonight. You can't even enjoy the fact that we pulled within 5.5 games. Who does this b**** think she is, denying you that simple pleasure. :lol: :lol: Classic Edited August 14, 2006 by WHarris1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosMediasBlancas Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 Pick up the phone and tell her you have to see her tomorrow, then break up with her face to face. She'll be pissed about losing control over you and will try to get you back within a few weeks, be strong and move on. And no, you cannot remain friends. She gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitesoxin' Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 I've seen your myspace, gone, and that chick is fine haha. If you just want to be with her through high school, what is the point? If she's not in your plans for the future, why let her weigh you down right now? My situation with my girlfriend is different than yours. We've been going out for over a year we no longer are dependent on each other, try to impress each other, ect. It's like we're best friends and of course with benefits. We took a break after 8 months or so because it was becoming too overbearing of a relationship. That made us realize that we needed to become more independant. I don't know what the point of telling you my situation was, but maybe you got something out of it, but like I said, if she's not in your plans for the future don't bother with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wedge Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 08:35 PM) still havnt got a call yet from her.. beginning to wonder if ill even get one haha... oh well... so as of now were still us I hope you did something else with your night. Sorry to be blunt, but at this point what's the worst she can do? Break up with you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 14, 2006 Author Share Posted August 14, 2006 hell yea that chick is fine.... Well the call came and she basically lied saying everything was ok, i asked if she promised, she said yea... I could tell she was lieing.... i really wanna talk in person but i doubt it happens because she wont have the balls to tell me in person... its gonna all come out on the phone tomorrow.... things i should say and more advice is appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxAce Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 11:49 PM) i really wanna talk in person but i doubt it happens because she wont have the balls to tell me in person... I would too considering she doesn't have any... or does "she"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wedge Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 11:49 PM) hell yea that chick is fine.... Well the call came and she basically lied saying everything was ok, i asked if she promised, she said yea... I could tell she was lieing.... i really wanna talk in person but i doubt it happens because she wont have the balls to tell me in person... its gonna all come out on the phone tomorrow.... things i should say and more advice is appreciated. tell her "I'm not having this horse[feathers] conversation on the phone" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WHarris1 Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 (edited) QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 11:49 PM) hell yea that chick is fine.... Well the call came and she basically lied saying everything was ok, i asked if she promised, she said yea... I could tell she was lieing.... i really wanna talk in person but i doubt it happens because she wont have the balls to tell me in person... its gonna all come out on the phone tomorrow.... things i should say and more advice is appreciated. Don't worry about her. Do s*** you would normally do with friends and what not but don't waste time waiting for her to break up with you. If she is going to break up with you there is nothing you can do to stop her, so don't worry about it. Confront her about it and be done with it. Edited August 14, 2006 by WHarris1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitesoxin' Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 11:49 PM) hell yea that chick is fine.... Well the call came and she basically lied saying everything was ok, i asked if she promised, she said yea... I could tell she was lieing.... i really wanna talk in person but i doubt it happens because she wont have the balls to tell me in person... its gonna all come out on the phone tomorrow.... things i should say and more advice is appreciated. How do you know she's on the verge of breaking up with you? Did one of her friends tell you? Maybe the person who told you this made up a lie because they were jealous she was spending time with you or the person wants your cock. If it didn't come from her, it might not be true. Just confront her with what you've been informed upon and talk through it. Definitely do it in person, just go to her house tomorrow or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LowerCaseRepublican Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(He_Gawn @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 11:49 PM) hell yea that chick is fine.... Well the call came and she basically lied saying everything was ok, i asked if she promised, she said yea... I could tell she was lieing.... i really wanna talk in person but i doubt it happens because she wont have the balls to tell me in person... its gonna all come out on the phone tomorrow.... things i should say and more advice is appreciated. Just dump her first and cut her out (preferably in person instead of impersonal BS on the phone). Enjoy the Sox having the 3 game swing in the division race and the Tigers looking to implode. Keep it short, curt and to the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxAce Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 Honestly he gawn, I can probably hook you up with a girl who looks way better than her, personality wise and everything (I'm sorry, I can't stand woman who play games) and considering you live in Indiana, it isn't very hard to actually do at all... BTW, some pretty good advise being said in this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 My advice is the same as some of the others' - just go about your business. Hang with friends, get ready for school, do whatever you normally would. Just don't wait for a breakup call. Go out with her and see how she acts around you. If you can deal with her, then just keep hanging with her. If she's making you uncomfortable, then maybe you should break it off yourself. It could be that she's acting weird to try to get you to break it off anyway. So just don't let it dominate your thoughts. Again, you're waaaaaaay too young to be stressing a girl. You're going to meet so many more girls you'll be interested in, it's a total waste of time to give yourself headaches over this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LowerCaseRepublican Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(The Critic @ Aug 14, 2006 -> 12:00 AM) My advice is the same as some of the others' - just go about your business. Hang with friends, get ready for school, do whatever you normally would. Just don't wait for a breakup call. Go out with her and see how she acts around you. If you can deal with her, then just keep hanging with her. If she's making you uncomfortable, then maybe you should break it off yourself. It could be that she's acting weird to try to get you to break it off anyway. So just don't let it dominate your thoughts. Again, you're waaaaaaay too young to be stressing a girl. You're going to meet so many more girls you'll be interested in, it's a total waste of time to give yourself headaches over this one. Critic, it's almost always a total waste of time to give yourself headaches over a girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(LowerCaseRepublican @ Aug 14, 2006 -> 12:02 AM) Critic, it's almost always a total waste of time to give yourself headaches over a girl. Yeah, I agree.............but that rare exception to the rule................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboz56 Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 Tap one last time and then get rid of her. Hopefully those instructions are easy enough to follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He_Gawn Posted August 14, 2006 Author Share Posted August 14, 2006 Ok so, seeing as shes been "busy" the past 4 days now, I'm definently going to confront her on the phone tonight. I'm going to limit it though, and say we need to do this in person, and if she says no. s*** will fly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboz56 Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 Just listen to my advice, it's the best in the thread so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxfn Posted August 14, 2006 Share Posted August 14, 2006 QUOTE(Soxy @ Aug 13, 2006 -> 04:26 PM) You should be with someone that WANTS to be with you. Not someone that every couple of months changes her mind. Find someone that wants to commit to you without breaking up with you first, changing her mind, and blah, blah, blah. That's just not a healthy relationship. And do try to stay friends. By doing that it will probably reinforce WHY you shouldn't be together. I think this post says it all. You can't force thing and if she doesn't want to "be" with you than so be it, than it may not be meant to be. Someone else will come along cause to go between she likes you, she doesn't like you, well #1 its not healthy and #2 it gets old real fast. Plus, at yourg stage in the life its not worth it to miss out on plenty of good times to deal with games. Just go out and have fun, spend time with your friends and enjoy things. Its really out of your hands, so nothing you can worry about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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