This is something you will want to read about. More in a second.

Ok, this is bizarre...

TORONTO – I would like to fully describe to you the latest slump-busting attempt by the White Sox players, but I’m still not quite sure what I saw.

 

It was like some bizarre shrine from “Apocalypse Now,’’ minus Brando of course. Now, earmuff-time kids. There were two blow-up dolls with at least 30 bats fanned out all around them in some sort of homage. Of course a few of the bats were doing naughty things, but you get the picture.

 

Whoever did it tried to frame Toby Hall by placing his hat on one of the dolls, but both Hall and several witnesses exonerated the reserve catcher.

As for manager Ozzie Guillen, he got a big kick out of it.

 

“Well, whoever did it spent a lot of money,’’ Guillen said. “That’s the type of guys we have. The clubhouse has been quiet the last couple days and I don’t like to see that. We have to stay at the same level of enthusiasm, no matter what happens. Because you worry about the game during the game. before and after, you can’t do anything about it. I know it’s not easy to enjoy yourself when you’re losing, but I expect the guys to stay with the same attitude no matter the results of the game.’’

 

I've gotta guess AJ.

 

I've gotta guess AJ.

Or Swisher

Sounds pretty funny to me. Now Kotex boy and Carol 'Defender of Blowup Doll's rights" Slezak will make more out of it than need be. I could care less. If it loosens them up, or makes them believe it loosens them up and they hit, who the f*** cares.

 

My real question is, can one of the blowup dolls play 2nd and hit 9th.

 

 

Put one in the lineup, it probably knows the five hole.

My real question is, can one of the blowup dolls play 2nd and hit 9th.

At least it would take a few pitches.

 

 

 

 

...sorry, was that over the line?

 

There's gotta be at least one catcher in the bunch!

 

 

OH!

Gotta luv those guys right?!

Put one in the lineup, it probably knows the five hole.

 

 

YAHTZEE!

Put one in the lineup, it probably knows the five hole.

Isn't that hockey ?

HAHAHA

Isn't that hockey ?

 

It's a merged sports joke.

 

 

Thank god that none of them were irish. Peta would be mad.

 

 

 

Funny stuff...I would guess Swisher. I can't wait for the uptight crew to go nuts about it.

yeah, had to be rick swisher

yeah, had to be rick swisher

nick's bro, right?

Hey, if it loosens 'em up (I'm talking about the players, not the dolls), I'm all for it.

The sex doll strategy really worked well tonight.

The sex doll strategy really worked well tonight.

Well, someone did get screwed.

 

Unfortunately, it was Javy.

Here comes the feminist avengers.

 

Carol Slezak fights for inflatable women everywhere.

 

More important, how can he complain about a lack of respect while his players are worshipping blow-up dolls in the locker room? It's absurd.

 

That's not to let the players off the hook. Who among them thought this was a good idea? How could the so-called team leaders -- Paul Konerko, Jim Thome, Mark Buehrle, Orlando Cabrera and Nick Swisher -- allow this this to happen?

 

To think there wasn't a single player man enough to stand up and say, ''This is wrong.''

 

I'm sure the players' moms, wives, sisters and daughters are really proud of them. Way to go, guys. And just so we're clear, the tired ''boys will be boys'' excuse no longer works.

 

Now we need Kotex boy to jump on this, with a Couch mini me pile on and we have our trifecta of dumb from the Suntimes.

 

 

Someone named Kara from the Suntimes is also upset that the blow up dolls were violated.

And here we go

 

 

Edited May 6, 200817 yr by southsideirish71

That column was incredibly unoriginal and predictable. She mailed it in on that one. It's not a real woman, it's a DOLL. Even one of the biggest Sox fans I know, who is a female, thought it was funny.

Edited May 6, 200817 yr by whitesoxfan101

whos for bringing blow up dolls to the next home game!?

Never a doll moment

'PRIVATE THING' | Ozzie says he won't apologize for team's clubhouse antics

May 6, 2008

BY JOE COWLEY jcowley@suntimes.com

TORONTO -- White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen pointed to his right arm.

 

''I got real thick skin,'' he insisted, hours before the Sox' game Monday night against the Blue Jays. ''I'm pretty strong. I took all kinds of punches last year, and I'm still up.''

 

This season is apparently Round 2 -- ding, ding.

 

As if the slumping bats weren't enough to give the team headaches, its latest attempt at a slump-buster is now under scrutiny.

 

Before Sunday's game, an unnamed player positioned two nude female blow-up dolls in the clubhouse with bats belonging to most of the players fanned out around them, almost resembling a voodoo ritual to get the club going and loosen up a suddenly uptight clubhouse.

 

Several Toronto newspapers made it a big deal, and the Sox were feeling the backlash by Monday afternoon. If those offended were expecting an apology from Guillen, however, they must not know him very well.

 

''We have to keep those guys loose and have fun and forget about it,'' Guillen said. ''Some take it the wrong way. I don't think the players tried to disrespect anyone or make fun of anyone.

 

''One hundred percent of the people in the clubhouse are 18 years old, and that's a private thing. If the players do it in the dugout where everyone can see or in the hotel lobby -- we did it in our clubhouse, and a lot of things happen in the clubhouse. I don't really know why people are making it a big deal. If people got their feelings hurt because of that ... they don't really know much about baseball.''

 

On Saturday, Sox players shaved the head of third-base coach Jeff Cox with the hope of turning things around. That clearly didn't appease the hitting gods, hence ''Doll-Gate.''

 

''I don't think they should make a big deal out of it because that's our clubhouse, and I don't think there's anything illegal there,'' Guillen said. ''I'm not going to apologize and not [going to] make the players apologize. It used to [be], whatever was in the clubhouse stayed in the clubhouse, and then all the [bleep] changed. But I don't think we did anything wrong to make people upset.

 

''Those toys, don't worry, we [still] got our ass kicked. Hopefully we come up with something better. We don't need dolls. We need hits. People get mad, hey.''

 

No stranger to criticism, Guillen was asked if he felt the negative feedback was amplified because it was his clubhouse.

 

''I'll take the blame ... because of who I am,'' he said. ''I said early in the season, 'Ozzie has to be Ozzie.' They want to make a big deal about it in Chicago because of me and my team, good for them. At least they have something to talk about.

 

''When I leave Chicago, they're going to miss me because a lot of people aren't going to make a lot of money off of me. Because they talk a lot of [bleep] about Ozzie. Keep it up. Now they have something to write and talk, big deal. They're going to miss me, but I'm not going to miss them.''

Edited May 6, 200817 yr by Linnwood

Funny. Too bad it didn't work. I'm honestly surprised there hasn't been more complaining about it from the Ozzie/Kenny/Jerry can't do anything right, crew.