Wong & Owens

Not to worry. Since he works at Blockbuster, and thus someone whose ass I could "buy and sell 100 times," I have no reason to take his words any more seriously than those of the sandwich board-wearing idiot who stands on LaGrange Avenue blathering on about gospel while avoiding spitballs hurled from semi-tractor trailer windows.

I think if you'd submit this passage and your image to the leaders of Al-Qaida, they'd have no problem signing up a few thousand new recruits by, say, lunch time. Nice job.

Stating the obvious-- It's pathetic that these two cheeba monkeys are banking their election hopes on military records from 30 years ago. I don't care if John Kerry wanted to throw his medals away in 1972 I don't care if Bush's daddy got him out of real military service. I care about the ridiculously huge deficit I care about what will happen with Social Security I care about the widening of the gap between the poor and the rich I care about how we continue to adapt to terrorist attacks and keep us safe I care about creating new jobs, and providing the necessary education to perform those jobs I care about the corporate gobbling-up of smaller businesses. The lack of time spent talking about the real stuff, when compared to the amount of time trying to spin crap from 3 decades ago is appalling. Reason #265 why I ain't procreating.

Can I be in? PLease?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I can't wait for the swimsuit issue. Burkhas & Bikinis....................YES!

That's fine, I have no problem if they want to call him that now. It's this that I have a problem with: Takatsu, who enjoyed hitting more than pitching while growing up in Hiroshima, began his professional career in 1991 with Yakult. He didn't earn the team's closer role, the one that would garner him the well-known nickname "Mr. Zero," until 1993.

Hasn't it been cleared up like 1000 times that he was never called Mr. Zero in Japan? Don't journalists do research anymore?

Er, a reason that Loaiza hit 93 in the All-Star game might have had something to do with the fact that he knew he was only going to pitch for an inning or two, and therefore didn't have to pace himself. Why would a pitcher hold back in a contract year?

If it's at all possible, These are the only position players I want back next season(and this is assuming we won't resign Ordonez) Rowand Lee Perez Everett Thomas Uribe That's it. Trade Konerko while his value is high again(I don't mean to make a scapegoat out of him, but it's been 4 years with this core, and some of the slow, HR-or-bust crew has to go.) Let Harris crawl back to his Mommy, Jose can go hit under .240 for someone else, trade Crede, etc. Can't decide on the catcher situation though. Suppose you have to keep Davis, and I like Burke, but do you really need 3 catchers on your roster?

I will always admire this team's ability to consistently win with the talent level they have. Those posts weren't about being a Twins fan, it's an indictment of how pathetically sad this Sox team is, and has been since 2000. It's a statement of how sick I am of watching this team continuing to find ways to lose out to a team has possesses all those problem areas that I've pointed out. However, as I've said all along, I hope I'm wrong. But after watching 4 years now of the same garbage, I doubt I will be.

The answer is simple -- I cannot survive more than 2 days without checking out the girl in Donkey Kongerko's avatar.

And we haven't had obstacles to overcome? Who the manager is, or isn't, is the most overrated piece of crap in baseball. Gardenhire was a rookie mgr last season. Didnt bother the Twins much True, but the Twins haven't had anything resembling a 3rd, 4th, or 5th starter for most of the season. Not counting on that guy with a 7 year ERA of over 5.00 to return at some point? Your mistake. Koch was only here for 2.5 months this season. Twins haven't had Hawkins or Guardado all season. Nathan was nearly completely untested as a closer. Yet nobody's beaning him 4 straight plate appearances So much for Ozzieball Can't argue that, but I wouldn't bet $1 that the Sox win any of those games even with Frank and Maggs. I don't remember Everett or Perez being the problem. Also true, and yes, all teams usually face some adversity every year. The Twins consistently find ways to rise above them, the Sox find rocks to crawl under. Minnesota scratches out 4 runs to beat Pedro Martinez, the Sox make Wilfredo Ledezma look ready for Cooperstown. Think of all the garbage negative quirks the Sox have: 1) Can't win on the west coast 2) Can't beat pitchers they haven't seen before 3) Can't run the bases 4) Can't bunt when it counts 5) Can't beat junkballers 6) Cant move runners along 7) Cant get runs home from third with less than 2 outs consistently Like I said, I envy the optimism, but this team is sitting at home come playoff time. Again

You guys keep drinking that Kool-Aid. I envy your optimism. Just remember that, when the Twins win the division again, that they did so: 1) With a rookie 1B for 1/2 the year 2) With a 2B platoon consisting of players that probably wouldn't start on any other MLB team. 3) With a 3B that's hit under .240 for most of the year 4) With a rookie OF hitting 3rd most of the season 5) With their best player having a down year offensively 6) With a rookie catcher for 1/2 the season 7) By watching their biggest rival go and trade for arguably the best pitcher on the market, and responding by doing nothing. 8) With their second best hitter on the DL for 1/2 the season 9) After losing their closer, best setup man, starting catcher and 3rd-best starter in the offseason 10) With Carlos Silva, Kyle Lohse, Seth Greisinger and Terry Mullholland starting 3/5ths of all their games

Met Chris Chelios and Brett Hull at the Hangge-Uppe. Met Heather Locklear's brother at a wedding in California Hit Gene Siskel in the head with a Christmas Tree Also provided X-mas celebratory items to Alison Payne, Linda McLennan, Corey McPherrin and Gary Fencik. Heckled Tori Spelling in Vegas as she played blackjack with a friend of mine at a $10 table. Bumped into a dazed k.d. Lang the next morning at the same casino Used to mow the lawn for Walter Jacobson's b****y mother in law Spoke with Mike North and wife on the phone a few times regarding softball stuff Met virtually every pro beach volleyball player active in 1995 Met John Mahoney at a street fest in Oak Park Had Chris Zorich threaten to break my arms

The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details: These are genuine excerpts from the forms. 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night. 2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps. 3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks. 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He haves a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced. 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again. 6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise. 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me 8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? 9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom. 10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized. 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Good lord, I'd trade Loaiza for pretty much anything at this point. This is only because I am coming from the standpoint that this season is toast(though I realize KW/JR can't act accordingly), and the team would be better off looking towards next year.

Another power hitter whose defense is average at best, great. I guess when KW said he wanted grinders, he meant the sandwich.

I did a Google search for "Penis Enlargement Pumps," and was directed to Texsox's personal website. I checked out his "cool links" section, and here I am.

Mike has inspired me! To the tune of Body Count's "Cop Killer," here's by entry into the song parody sweepstakes: SOX KILLER!!!! I got my blue hat on I got my Twins shirt on I got my Twins pants on Those Sox play the game all wrong I got the baselines measured off, I turned the clubhouse lights off, I'm 'bout to bust some hits off I'm 'bout to knock some Sox off! chorus: Sox killer, better them than me Sox killer, f*** payroll disparity Sox killer, I know your fans are grievin', f*** em! Sox killer, you might not even beat Cleveland I got my swing on hype Tonight'll be my night I got 4-for-4 in sight And your pitchers look just right Now my adreneline's pumpin' I got the dugout jumpin' I'm bout to hit me somethin' Esteban Loaiza is nothin'! (repeat chorus) Die, die, die, Sox, die! (repeat chorus) f*** the Pale Hose (repeat 6X's) (repeat chorus) f*** the Pale Hose, break it down f*** the Pale Hose, yeah f*** the Pale Hose, for Bob Wells f*** the Pale Hose, for Denny Hocking f*** the Pale Hose, for Rod Carew f*** the Pale Hose, for Harmon Killebrew f*** the Pale Hose, dont be a pussy f*** the Pale Hose, have some muthaf***in courage f*** the Pale Hose, sing along Sox Killer(x's 4) Sox killer, (what do you want to be when you grow up?) Sox killer, (good choice) Sox killler I'm a muthaf***in Sox Killer! (repeat chorus)

I would totally vote for a Teresa Heinz-Jim Stockdale ticket.

It depends, are toppings allowed? If so, then I'll take a dog. If it has to be plain, give me a brat.

Well, there was that first game in Texas after the All-Star break...... But, I'm sure Scott will be more focused on worrying about whether KW is getting another starter to put in his slot than he will be on the Tiger hitters. The predicition? Tigers 137, Sox 3 (three Sox solo HR's in the eighth and ninth innings)

We are definitely losers. As for being lovable, well, I see nothing lovable about two caught-stealings in the same inning, a flubbed double-play grounder, a mind-blowingly terrible drop of a pop foul, beaning a .239 hitter for the 4th straight time, or allowing a .209 hitting catcher to look like Johnny Bench vs our pitchers.

Who pitches next inning if we get through this and dont score in the 10th?