Wong & Owens

I think her face is gorgeous, but my 18 year old brother has a more feminine body than she does. Rick Salomon was on Howard Stern this morning, and said flat out that Paris wasn't really into sex. He gave Shannen Doherty high marks for her sexual prowess, however.

I don't know exactly what mulestation entails, but it sure sounds worse than molestation. The real question is, which is the worse crime, selling children or molesting mules?

Actually, the guy I was thinking of was Dennis Wolfberg. Was awfully tired last night....

Top 50 might be a stretch, but here's a haphazard Top 30: Bill Hicks Sam Kinison Eddie Murphy Jerry Seinfeld Chris Rock David Letterman Steve Martin George Carlin Billy Connolly(his stand up is HIGHLY underrated, check out his act as the opener on some Whoopi Goldberg special back in the late 80's) Mitch Hedberg Eddie Izzard Will Ferrell Phil Hartman Bill Murray Richard Pryor John Goodman Jeffery Ross Dana Carvey Jon Stewart Johnny Carson Denis Leary Dennis Goldberg Drake Sather OK, that's only 20, but it's all I got right now.

Ah, OK, I'm not around here much on weekends. If a mod wants to dump this as redundant, then by all means, delete it.

1) I agree that there is still probably more men comics working than women comics, but I wouldn't think the numbers are that disparate anymore. I disagree that a joke would get a different response based on the gender of the teller. If any woman had come up with Kinison's bit about nothing growing in the desert, or Eddie Murphy's bit about white guys that just saw "Rocky," I would have laughed every bit as hard. 2) I see where you are coming from, and you're right, but I consider myself to not be guilty of those types of double standards. I don't give any of those chumps on those Komedy Sentrul specials the time of day when they suck, and the more boorish or edgy the woman comedian--i.e. Roseanne, C.H.O.--the more I tend to like them. 3) I agree that most of the women you mentioned are funny, at least some of the time, but I wouldn't put any of them in the same LEAGUE as the best comedians the male gender has to offer. I would add that woman, I can't think of her name, who plays in all of Chris Guest's movies(ditzy rich dog owner in Best in Show) and as Stiffler's Mom in American Pie. She is VERY funny. 4) Jerry Lewis said that he doesn't laugh at female comedians, because when he sees a woman, he sees her as the mother of children, which isn't funny. Or something like that. Whatever the exact words were, they should have been enough to make every woman alive wish he would get his head smashed in by the next available telethon phone operator.

Found this in a Gammons article. Just zap it if someone has posted this before: 1. Chicago led the division in run differential, fewest runs allowed, most homers, fewest strikeouts and most walks by their hitters, best starters' ERA and most pitchers' strikeouts and did not finish first. Aftre reading that, doesn't 2003's season somehow get even more frustrating? And it's been over for 4 months now.

I'm not sure. I agree there's a TON of nepostism and kitchen cabinet crap going on, but is Chicago in better shape now than it was when he got here? Overall, I'd say yes.

Whoa there, Jim. Before he died, Harold was one of the LEAST effective mayors Chicago has seen in awhile--but it wasn't his fault at all. By all accounts, Harold was a fair guy, a nice guy, a good leader, and a decent enough politician--all traits that would have made him a good mayor, if not for Fast Eddie Vrdolyak and the Council Bloc that aligned to resist virtually every measure Harold tried to pass. It wasn't until right before he died that Harold's side on the council got enough members to override Vrdolyak's Bloc, but it wasn't soon enough to see him actually get anything done.

I forgot about the Notorious one. She's pretty funny, but again, I wouldn't put her on a list of 25-50 funniest people around or anything.

Yah, Boosler and Roseanne had their moments, to be sure, but they both got old for me pretty quickly, and I certainly wouldn't rank them up there with Seinfeld, Pryor, Rock, et al.

For the most part, I agree with you, but I'm interested in why.

OK, here's a comment that might stir up some debate on a Monday. I don't find the majority of women comedians funny. I am not pulling a Jerry Lewis here, nor do I consider myself to be a sexist person by nature, so I'm not 100% sure why I feel this way. Nevertheless, going back through the years, I can't find one female comedian that I would but on my top 50 list of funny people. This is especially true for Stand Up comedy. I have less trouble finding female comedic actors that make me laugh(Julia Louis Dreyfus, I thought the Ellen show was pretty funny, Ana Gasteyer has hilarious moments), but I wouldn't put any of them in a top 10-20-30 list either. Perhaps just a case of what appeals to the sexes not always being equal? Discuss.

The guy's a 2-pitch pitcher. Can you name ANY solid MLB starters that only have two effective pitches? They should move him to the pen, unless he's picked up a cutter or something since last season.

Do you have stock in the Scott Schoenweiss Corporation? If he gets 8-9 wins, I'll be satisfied. Anything over 10, and the Sox can start selling playoff tickets.

Top 5 Stand Up(in no order): Bill Hicks, Sam Kinison, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld Top 5 Comedic Actors, again in no order: Bill Murray, Phil Hartman, John Goodman, Eddie Murphy, Mike Myers

"Would you f*** me? I'd f*** me. I'd f*** me hard. I'd f*** me so hard." --Silence of the Lambs

Yeah, the "Earth is God's Ant Farm" theory. Well, I guess that if I have any faith at all, it is that the creator, supreme, non-gender-specific being, whatever wouldn't have any of those traits. Those attributes are mainly human-only, some found in other animals as well, and whatever stuck us here is beyond human, IMO.

Was that a shot at me? My apologies, I meant no misogyny by using "himself." "Itself" probably would have been better.

Well put, Jim. Kind of the point I was trying to illustrate.

Wait, so god creates all of mankind in his own image, then he decides that some of us are going straight to hell? Well, needless to say, I wouldn't give that theory an ounce of credit. However, if it is true, god can go f*** himself.

Maurice Lenell

Happy Birthday, SuperSpartan

OK, maybe he's not in the lead, but he's in the race, and that in itself is pretty sad.

I believe Mel Gibson just pulled wayyyy ahead in the race to become......."THE DUMBEST PERSON ON THE PLANET"