CSF

Today's lineup courtesy of Mac, Jurko, & Harry: 2B Harris SS Valentin RF Ordonez DH Thomas LF Lee 1B Gload 3B Uribe CF Perez C Alomar P Buerhle

The biggest Cubs apologist this side of Mike Kiley is spewing trash again. Gee, whiz -- let's just stop the Alou jokes May 11, 2004 BY JAY MARIOTTI SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST Advertisement I hereby declare a moratorium on Moises Alou wee-wee jokes, even if he'd make a perfect pitchman for Allstate Insurance. Sympathy for the poor guy officially kicked in Monday afternoon, when one of those smarmy sports-talk hosts compared his last name to the British slang term for toilet. A loo -- get it? Sure, a lot of us were grossed out by Alou's disclosure that he urinates on his hands, a technique used to give them a harder texture during the long baseball season. The very thought instantly devalued any attempt to obtain his autograph, invite him to a banquet or, if you happen to be one of his Cubs teammates, congratulate him with a handshake after a home run. ''I'm not giving him a high-five ever again,'' cracked Sammy Sosa, who often is standing at the plate with greetings after an Alou jack. But if we possibly can control ourselves here, let's bag the humor and remember who we're ridiculing. Suddenly, everything Alou has done throughout an impressive major-league career is being overwhelmed by this unique study in urinalysis. In 14 seasons, the esteemed son of Felipe Alou has maintained a .301 batting average, hit for power, played in four All-Star Games and won a World Series championship. He has become the best of the famous baseball-playing Alous -- don't forget his uncles, Jesus and Matty -- which isn't a bad distinction considering he didn't start organized ball until college. In a clubhouse of diverse personalities and egos, Mo is the rock of the Cubs, maybe the most respected leader in the room. What a shame if one dirty little secret of his craft, something he didn't intend for public discussion, emerges as the most memorable item of his career. While it's hard to agree with his claim that ''urine is like water,'' which is only true when drinking certain light beers, I would argue that Alou's statistics have more than justified his curious methods. The story leaked because Moises happened to mention it recently to ESPN's Gary Miller, but didn't emphasize he was speaking off-the-record. Miller, a respected reporter who grew up in the Chicago suburbs, ran the news as a small bit in his Internet column. Once the blurb reached the local airwaves, Alou's otherwise spotless reputation was dampened. When he briefly addressed reporters the other day, he tried to hold his head high. ''I'm not embarrassed by it,'' Alou said. But he clearly was stung by the magnitude of the reaction, the buzz quotient on radio shows and in chat rooms. Not much shocks anyone in popular culture anymore, but this tale managed to transcend baseball and make its way around the country. Perhaps Alou will laugh about it someday, but not yet. ''I don't want to talk about that because I told somebody who wasn't supposed to print it,'' he said. ''It's like saying what you do at home. What I do at home, I don't want anybody to know what I do. What I do here, people see what I do around here in the clubhouse or on the field. And that's what should be printed. If someone is telling the truth, they have the right to write that. 'Off the record' is not in my vocabulary. If you have a microphone or a tape recorder in your hand, I know it's going to be printed. I might have a closer relationship with some reporters and I might say something where I don't need to say it's off the record.'' By now, Alou should understand the media rules: Anything that isn't declared off the record is on the record. Just the same, the media need to move on to their next giggle and realize that rituals, however strange, are part of baseball. When Kerry Wood develops blisters on his pitching fingers, he has been known to go the Alou route. ''Oh, absolutely. It's more of a finger hardener,'' Wood told ESPN 1000. ''Not on a daily basis, but I've done it a time or two. It's been around for a while. I know some guys were disappointed that [Alou's story] got out when it wasn't supposed to, but I've tried it. And it's around the clubhouse.'' You'd be amazed at some of the weird things that happen in baseball clubhouses, where players try anything for an edge. Some stick wads of gum on their caps. Turk Wendell, of course, will enter a Hall of Shame for brushing his teeth between innings and requiring the right fielder to tip his cap to him when he enters a game. Nomar Garciaparra is a superstitious, twitching loon -- stepping on each dugout step with both feet, constantly removing his glove in the field and smelling the sweaty leather, touching his nose for no reason, tapping his toes in the batter's box. Before every game, Wade Boggs ate chicken prepared 50 different ways, left his house at the same precise nanosecond and fixated on the numbers 7 and 17. Even Ted Williams had anal tendencies, refusing to use a bat unless he hand-picked it from a particular piece of timber from the Hillerich and Bradsby factory in Kentucky. We've heard of pitchers using pickle brine to heal blisters and batters dipping their hands into buckets of rice. But Alou, who doesn't use a batting glove, has introduced us to new levels of creativity. At first, Dusty Baker tried to make light of it. ''I know guys don't want to shake his hand now,'' he said. ''Everyone just gives him the fist.'' But if you haven't noticed, Alou hasn't hit too well since his secret surfaced. He fell into an 0-for-16 hole last week before managing four hits over the weekend against Colorado, including a solo homer Saturday. It's no coincidence that the Cubs falter offensively when Alou is slumping. To realistically be a pennant contender, they'll need more glimpses of the cleanup hitter who recently batted .450 with six homers and 15 RBI over a 14-game stretch. Which is why Baker wants the jokes to stop. ''That's not anybody's business, really,'' said the manager, who has had a number of issues with media members since spring training. ''I didn't know Mo did that, but I played in Latin America and I heard that [being done] before many times. There are certain things that should stay in the clubhouse. Boys will be boys in the clubhouse. That's what makes the game kind of fun. [but] nothing's private. The thing that you worry about is that there are rumors that can be started by anybody. Things spread. I've seen some things about people and no one is accountable for what they say -- especially if it's not true.'' It's too late to complain now. Not only is the Alou tale true, it has trickled into the mass consciousness. The same man who was tangled up by Steve Bartman in October now has to deal with toilet humor. We can't bring back the foul ball, but we can give Moises a pass. While wondering exactly how he goes about doing his duty. Jay Mariotti hosts a sports talk show weekdays on WMVP-AM (1000) from 9-11 a.m. and appears on ESPN's ''Around the Horn'' at 4 p.m. Send e-mail to [email protected] with name, hometown and daytime phone number (letters run Sunday).

If he can regain 2-4 mph on his heater, I wouldn't mind giving him a crack at the closer's job. But not until he proved himself for at least half the year in the bullpen. Just don't give him the job outright.

Under ESPN's rankings, I won't be surprised to see us in the Bottom 5.

Nicely done, Aboz. Keep up the good work!

This guy should get together with Mike Kiley for milk and cookies.

Does he have any writers from Chicago? I'd rather watch that than Kotex Boy's mug on ATH.

Well, isn't it obvious? We all know that columnist is Phil Rogers. You know the way those Tribsters are.

How????

Good article.

Raul Mondesi Will Sit Out Rest of Season 5 minutes ago By ENRIQUE ROJAS, Associated Press Writer SANTO DOMINGO, Dominican Republic - Pittsburgh Pirates (news) outfielder Raul Mondesi, his pay withheld for most of the season because of a civil suit, will sit out the rest of the year, he said Monday. AP Photo "I won't play another game this season," Mondesi told The Associated Press. "I can't concentrate well enough to play baseball. I don't want to become a distraction for the team. This is the best for the Pirates, for myself and my family." Mondesi, 33, said the decision was only for this year and he may return next season. Mondesi returned to his native Caribbean country on Saturday. He missed a three-game weekend series against Los Angeles. "He's going to the Dominican Republic to be with his family, and we support that decision," Pirates general manager David Littlefield said at the time. A Dominican civil court ruled in February that Mondesi owed former major leaguer Mario Guerrero about $640,000 for helping him improve his baseball skills, a claim which Mondesi denies. Mondesi appealed the ruling, but said the court ordered his nine accounts in nine Dominican banks frozen and the Pirates withheld his pay. In April, Mondesi had threatened to leave the team if the Pirates didn't pay him by the end of the month. Last Wednesday, a Dominican court order that caused the Pirates to hold his pay was lifted. The Pirates then said they would release Mondesi's wages from an interest-bearing escrow account. Mondesi said he would call his agent, Jeff Moorad, to tell him his decision, and that Moorad would communicate it to the Pirates. Signed as a free agent in February, Mondesi was hitting .283 with two homers and 14 RBIs this season. Mondesi was the NL Rookie of the Year in 1994 with the Los Angeles Dodgers (news). He won Gold Glove awards in 1995 and 1997 and twice had 30-homer, 30-steal seasons. Mondesi has a career batting average of .276 with 266 homers and 842 RBIs in 12 seasons with the Dodgers, Toronto, New York Yankees (news), Arizona and Pittsburgh. He said he needs a rest and wants to spend more time with his four children. "I've played 20 straight years of baseball all year round," he said. "I deserve a rest even if it's only a few months. Today I took my children to school for the first time in my life. It was an amazing feeling."

If I heard correctly, Mac, Jurko, & Harry just said Grilli would get the call. I'd MUCH, MUCH, MUCH rather see Diaz.

Well, at least now it's official.

Link Loaiza trying to restore velocity By Scot Gregor Daily Herald Sports Writer Posted Monday, May 10, 2004 TORONTO - Even though he's 4-2 with a 4.34 ERA, Esteban Loaiza doesn't look anything like the dominant starting pitcher who went 21-9 (2.90 ERA) and finished second in Cy Young Award voting last season. Loaiza's fastball has lost some zip, and that's allowed opposing hitters to sit on his best pitch, the cutter. Over his last 3 starts, Loaiza has allowed 17 runs (13 earned) on 26 hits in 19¿ innings. Last year, the right-hander yielded only 196 hits in 226º innings. Insisting he's completely healthy, Loaiza said he's going to begin working even harder at building arm strength. While he regularly reached 94 mph with his fastball in 2003, Loaiza is now clocking in at 87-88 mph. "I need to concentrate on getting stronger and putting more on the ball,'' Loaiza said. "I need to come over the top more. I'm going to start working on my velocity and go from there.'' Arms race: The White Sox have been getting by with four-man rotation since ineffective Dan Wright (0-4, 8.15 ERA) was demoted to Class AAA Charlotte on May 1. The Sox are going to need to a fifth starter for Saturday's game against the Twins at U.S. Cellular Field. They are expected to announce the new addition today or Tuesday. "I've looked at it, everybody has looked at it individually. We've just got to put our heads together and decide what we're going to do,'' pitching coach Don Cooper said. "There's always options.'' Felix Diaz remains the top option to replace Wright. In 6 starts with Class AAA Charlotte, Diaz is 5-0 with a 1.86 ERA. If the White Sox take a pass on Diaz, left-hander Arnie Munoz remains an intriguing option. The converted reliever pitched 7 shutout innings for Class AA Birmingham in a 5-0 win Saturday over Mobile. In 6 starts with Birmingham, Munoz is 5-0 with a 1.23 ERA. Munoz probably throws the best curveball in the entire Sox system. If he got himself straightened out at Charlotte, Wright might have been called back up and given another chance to start. Considering he allowed 9 runs on 9 hits in 2 innings during his first start in the minors, that's not likely to happen. "Hopefully, the guy we call up will get the job done,'' Guillen said. "I don't expect him to come up and win 20 games. I wish, but just be a consistent pitcher and give me what he's supposed to give me. Whoever comes here I hope solves the problem.'' Day of rest: Juan Uribe, the best hitter in the White Sox' sporadic offense this season, was held out of the lineup Sunday after making 17 straight starts. Despite striking out while pinch hitting for Willie Harris in the eighth inning, Uribe ranks among league leaders with a .368 batting average. "Uribe has been playing a lot, so it's time to give him a day,'' manager Ozzie Guillen said. "He will be in the lineup more than people think. I'll try to keep his hot streak going and not cool it down. I don't want to sit him for three or four days.'' Decision day: The Sox are expected to determine the future of left-handed relief pitcher Kelly Wunsch today. Wunsch has been on the disabled list since April 1 with an inflamed muscle in his throwing shoulder In 9 relief appearances with Class AAA Charlotte, Wunsch has a 4.26 ERA. Since there's no apparent job available in the White Sox' bullpen, Wunsch has emerged as a trade candidate.

Congrats!!! :headbang

Link Diaz, Grilli call-up candidates for No. 5 By Bob Foltman Tribune staff reporter May 9, 2004, 10:16 PM CDT TORONTO—White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen said Sunday that he'll decide either Monday or Tuesday who the team will bring up to fill the fifth spot in the rotation. Whoever it is may pitch this weekend against the Minnesota Twins at U.S. Cellular Field. Guillen said he'll discuss the situation with general manager Ken Williams and also determine who is on schedule in the rotation for Triple-A Charlotte. The candidates appear to be Felix Diaz and Jason Grilli. Guillen hopes the new addition can stay awhile and be productive. "Hopefully the guy we call up will get the job done," he said. "I don't expect him to come up and win 20 games. I wish. He just needs to be a consistent pitcher and give me what he's supposed to give me." ... Another decision to be made is who to send back to Charlotte. Catcher Jamie Burke appears to be the likely candidate, but Guillen wants to make sure Sandy Alomar's hip is OK. Alomar played Saturday and didn't appear to have any problems. ... Guillen said he didn't think his big hitters in the middle of the lineup were just trying to hit home runs. "Every swing you think they try to hit home runs because that's the type of swing they have," he said. "Last week we were hooking everything and that killed us on the homestand. We tried to hook balls—hook, hook, hook. Now I think we balance it a little better." ... Before Sunday, the Sox were just one of four teams to not lose three games in a row. The others were the Cubs, Dodgers and Rangers. The Sox opened last season with three straight losses. ... With Carlos Lee's ninth-inning double, the Sox extended their streak of games with an extra-base hit to 19. ... Kelly Wunsch gave up a run and a hit in two innings of relief work Saturday at Charlotte. Wunsch's rehab assignment ends Sunday, and the Sox will have to make a decision with him. They likely will option him and leave him in Charlotte. Copyright © 2004, The Chicago Tribune

Sox-Cubs interleague from '99. Beautiful Saturday afternoon, and those f***ing Scrubbies killed the Sox 10-2. Jaime Navarro (curse that bastard :fyou) absolutely sucked to no end. The lone bright spot was a Konerko homer in the bottom of the 9th. The absolute worst moment was the Scrubbie fans remaining serenaded Sox fans with the Na-Na-Na-Na theme. I wanted to do serious bodily harm to those asswipes that day.

Nice.

Tell me about it. The 1st day of the last homestand, Mariotti was saying on his stupid radio show how the Sox should easily take this series against a battered Yankees squad. I got a bad feeling when he made that idiotic prediction. 2 losses later..... Yet another reason to hate Kotex Boy. :fyou

All week I kept hearing on the radio and other websites "Oh, we should sweep this team". That's our problem right there. Just like the NFL has the saying "On any given Sunday", the same can be said for MLB. The Sox shouldn't take teams like the Blue Jays for granted anymore. "Easy" teams like the Blue Jays and the Tigers are gonna be the ones that hand this team their asses more than anybody else. In 162 games, there are no "given" wins. In many ways, getting swept may have been a positive thing. The Sox have been humbled, and should be ready to do the little things to get back on the winning track. The Sox also need to keep in mind that while this weekend, they get their first showdown with the Twins, don't think the O's won't know that as well. The last thing this team needs is to sleepwalk against Baltimore prior to the series with Minnesota. They need to be agressive with Baltimore and use it as a catapult towards the Minnesota series. But most importantly, every game is a potential win or loss......... Unless Paul Abbott, Javier Vazquez, or Cory Lidle are pitching. Then we're doomed.

What an ugly road trip.

According to IMDB.com, they used a cow's eye. Either way: :puke

BYRNES, YOU WONDERFUL SONUVAb****!!!!! A'S WIN!!!!

Jones lined out. Bottom of the 13th. Hoping for a run.

Koskie was walked intentionally. Ryan flied out. 2 down.