witesoxfan

There are a lot of people that look like monkeys and gorillas too, but that makes sense considering humans are primates, so I sort of try to avoid mentioning those. There was someone that I thought looked a lot like a donkey this weekend too, but I can't remember who it was.

By the way, just so we are aware, I am currently sober.

QUOTE (Kenny Hates Prospects @ May 3, 2011 -> 11:22 PM) Same story for me. I thought he was funny so I checked out more of his stuff. Same thing exactly. Same words, same order of words. He strikes me as the kind of dude who calls his credit card company under the guise of clarifying a statement but really just to ramble off old John Stamos stories to someone who is paid to not hang up. He loves John Stamos IIRC, I mean like really. Isn't that about 99.8% of the nation? And I do mean like really. John Stamos is a f***ing stallion. Like, I literally think he is a stallion or was a centaur in a former life. Like, you know how you look at certain people, and certain animals come to mind? When I see Chris Bosh, I see a turtle. Well when I see John Stamos, I quite literally see a stallion running through a field, his hair being strewn about in the wind, coming towards me in slow motion. It's really a mind altering experience.

QUOTE (Soxbadger @ May 3, 2011 -> 11:18 PM) No way astroglide because it refers to space and entering the unknown. Astroglide forever. That sounds like a Pink Floyd song. Also a bit of a double entendre. My biceps hurt from lifting like Juan Pierre. Oh, and I still can't get over the fact that Juan Pierre does 30 pound bicep curls.

QUOTE (flippedoutpunk @ May 3, 2011 -> 11:14 PM) vaseline works fine too and much less embarassing to purchase at CVS That makes sense. And you can tell them it's for your gums and lips and you won't be lying. Of course, I generally don't care about the people that work at CVS because I am better than them. I am cold as ice, and willing to sacrifice our love.

Oooh, rematch of game 163. AND JIM THOME IS ON THE WRONG DAMN TEAM. And also on the DL. Time for Dunn to otnnud rofemit

QUOTE (knightni @ May 3, 2011 -> 11:10 PM) "All in your ass?" That sounds painful. Astroglide

the mothertrucking Arizona Diamondbacks Beat the Yankees the year they are supposed to win it, and what have they done since then? Barely jacks***. It was really cool seeing them beat the Cubs in 2007 though.

What do Vanessa Minnillo and the White Sox have in common in the last 4 years? THEYVE BOTH BEEN f***ED BY NICK What do Nick Lachey and the White Sox have in common tonight? NO HITS bet you didnt see that last one coming, did you?

SO WHAT, I CAN'T CHEAT BUT YOU CAN JUST GO AND DRINK UP ALL THE MILK

QUOTE (Soxbadger @ May 3, 2011 -> 10:34 PM) Id definitely go to more games if they let me vote on players walk up songs before they bat. All they have to do is put one of those America's Favorite Video voting things in the crowd and you could have a hilarious drinking night. We could even have Bob Saget host it!

QUOTE (Soxbadger @ May 3, 2011 -> 10:27 PM) 2 girls 1 cup feels like years ago, same with Rick Rolling. Maybe the Sox should rick roll their players as punishment. Screw you AJ and your AJ song, here is Never Gonna Give You Up They should have every hitter go up to Rebecca Black.

SAY DID ANYONE SEE THAT 2 GIRLS 1 CUP

I ain't mad at 'cha. Got nothin' but love for ya. Do ya thing boy.

I would suggest that the White Sox run another blackout, except this time it is called "JACKOUT BLACKOUT". Except instead of giving out black shirts, they give out .375's of Yukon Jack, and before the game, everyone must chug it. Then the drunkest must attack the Twins. It's flawless.

And what's f***ing Juan Nieves doing out in the bullpen? STICKING HIS THUMB UP HIS ASS AND SMELLING IT! I can already tell you that won't smell good smart guy!

QUOTE (PlaySumFnJurny @ May 3, 2011 -> 09:40 PM) Our third baseman is BM. wish we still had Clayton Richard and Aaron Poreda

QUOTE (Soxbadger @ May 3, 2011 -> 09:37 PM) Wow you really are on to something, maybe Liriano wiped with his bare hand and didnt wash. Would that technically be legal? Because I know of no rule against. If hitters can piss on their hands, why can't pitchers s*** on their hands?

QUOTE (Soxbadger @ May 3, 2011 -> 09:36 PM) Jay Mariotti is like an unmemorable poop, I forgot he happened until I saw fathom post about it Remember that time Jay Mariotti beat his girlfriend? WHAT A PIECE OF s***

They no longer allow you to throw spitballs. BUT, they do allow you to throw SH**BALLS

Drew Butera caught his no hitter. That's almost Drew BUTTera.

I say we make poop jokes all night.

BRENT MOREL? MORE LIKE BRENT POORSMELL

Board going to go BOOM

lol