In a move that was no surprise to anyone, Paul Konerko is currently being investigated for computer parts. His hot start to the season at age 36 was suspicious enough, but after being hit in the "eye" with a pitch last Friday vs. the Cubs, Konerko proceeded to hit .600 with 2 HR, 4 2B, and 6 RBI in the following week. This amazing feat is what really caught the eye of commish Bud Selig. Selig said he plans to transport Konerko to a nearby testing facility in St. Louis where it was determined that Albert may have also been of the Android variety just a few years ago.

 

This picture surfaced earlier in the day, which shows Konerko playing backyard baseball with his "little brother". It's not confirmed, but it appears to have been taken before he had his human shell made, that he uses today.

 

 

In a statement about the matter, Konerko said, "Beep boop beep boop boop", and then proceeded to scratch out a series of 1's and 0's in to the podium.

 

Stay tuned for continuous updates as this story unfolds.

The title of this made my freak out.

The title of this made my freak out.

 

'Twas the point, my friend!

Same here. Stomach dropped, although I had a feeling it might be a Devin Hester Paul Konerko, you are ridiculous type of thing.

'Twas the point, my friend!

I figured. It was just my way of saying, mission accomplished.

Dumbest thread ever

Dumbest thread ever

 

THIS IS ALL KENNY WILLIAMS FAULT!

I want you banned.

Lol good one, sorry man didn't mean it that way, I should have said silly or something

Joe, start running, because I am about to murder you.

Dumbest thread ever

 

Very dumb.

I didn't worry because he's so hot, I knew it was a joke.

If he was only hitting about .280 I'd have fallen for it probably.

I actually found it funny.

Is that you, Joe?

The powerball number tonight? 14.

 

Coincidence? I think not.

Is that you, Joe?

That's where the "Joe Cool" nickname came from, right?

NEVER FORGET

Is that you, Joe?

 

I wish.

 

 

I thought that was a Cub hat