shoeless_joe21

Getz: "Can't pull off a worse trade than Tatis if you keep the system stocked with middling prospects incapable of becoming stars."

I hope they take Oakie, if only so I can be less sad when he doesn't go to Iowa.

At this point, just give managerial duties to a random fan every game. It'll improve attendance, and will lead to just as few wins. Announce it Price is Right style too, so the winner has to run screaming all the way from their seats down to the field. "Bill Kowalski of Orland Park...COME ON DOWN! You're the next manager of the Chicago White Sox!"

That's a good point. Although, Glorbatron did fall off KeithLaw-GPT's top 100 following the trade. Just don't underestimate how much the fans love Burger IV. He isn't a traditional descendent. He's a clone of the original Jake, but with Achilles heels made from synthetic super flesh and a full head of hologram hair.

The year is 2097. The White Sox have just traded fan favorite Jake Burger IV for top prospect Glorbatron the Destroyer. It is hailed as the final piece of the rebuild. Team owner Jerry Reinsdorf seems reinvigorated.

Grifol would make outrageous claims, like Gavin Sheets invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

Jordan Sprinkle is an 80 grade name for a weatherman.

These Getz/Grifol quotes need to be delivered in a Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey format.

We're all going to feel pretty silly when Pedro cooks up a new acronym and lights a fire under this team.

Paul DeJong sampled a bong. Paul DeJong sampled all game long. All Pedro's coaching and all Jerry spent, couldn't make Paul DeJong FAST again.

You got to know when to hold 'em, and know when to Grifold 'em.

I don't agree with it, but I get it. With Cease gone, there just isn't another starter that brings any excitement.

I have to imagine Chris Getz specifically must be petrified of telling Jerry how promotions are often based on merit.

Thorpe's strikeout numbers are gaudy, his control is pinpoint, and his change is pure filth. I'm okay with him not being some jacked fireballer, like the version of Kopech we traded for. The guy can flat-out pitch.

"I... (nervous pause) am excited for a 2024 White Sox spring training game."