DBAHO

Like Seattle, the Tiggies want young position prospects in return for Urbina. They've got some pitching prospect already in Verlander and Kyle Sleeth.

What bout Lucious Sweet?

What about the 6th pick.

Borch isn't goin to a .300 hitter in the majors. Think Jose Cruz Jr. type of numbers with more homers and RBI's.

Cheat makes an interesting argument though. If Sandy does retire at the end of this season, will Miggy become the everyday catcher? Will he catch Buerhle? Or do we leave Burke as the backup catcher or go out into free agency and sign a veteran stopper like a Mike Matheny etc.

Arnie Munoz. Deserves his chance and his K curveball against Sosa probably sealed the deal. If not, it'll be Jason Grilli.

The poor mascot. At least the new marketing guy is trying some new things out, hopefully this will get more ppl to the ballpark.

There's no need for Borch to be up at this moment, after the series in Florida things might have changed. A-Row and Gloady are doin a fine job filling in for Maggs at the moment. Borch's in a mini slump at Charlotte, hopefully he can get some hits this week.

I believe we hav many.

Not really something you want to see when you are driving past on a highway is it. Pretty sad ppl need to be told this though isn't it.

And now Billy Beane wants to trade for Kevin Youklis. He's already got Mark Teahan in AAA from his Moneyball draft. No-one expects Texas to hang around, and if Anaheim can now stay injury free it should be a 2 team race. But Seattle really needs their bats to hot up, Garcia, Moyer, Pineiro and Nageotte all are pitching well in their last 2 starts, and you've got Ryan Franklin trying to hold off Gil Meche for the 5th starter. In 2 weeks, we'll know Seattle's position. They think with Anaheim's injury problems, and with the A's missing Chavez they can make up some ground. They got Milwaulkee and Pittsburgh on the road in the next 2 series, if they can win 4 out of 6 there, they won't trade Garcia yet.

That's the funniest thing I've heard all day.

He'll be eating crow, I Guarantee It!

Seattle still believes they can make the playoffs believe it or not, they swept the series against the Expos and they are pitching a whole lot better since Nagoette has joined the rotation and Pineiro has gotten back on track. I believe San Diego will get one of Beltran or Garcia because of their willingness to trade Xavier Nady who is a good OF prospect. All the Yanks can offer is a free Jose Contreas and Dioner Navarro, and all KW wants to offer for Garcia is Rauch and Rowand. We will NOT trade Crede and Olivo for Beltran, how many young catchers are playing in the major leagues like Olivo is now and contributing? Victor Martinez.

There goes the alliance.

Congrats both to B-Mac and Brice on making the all - star game.

Wow some big moves there. Good to see my boy Brice finally get a promotion, he's hit well all year and deserves a callup. Nanita was a bit unlucky, he looked like he was turning it around a little the last few days. Hopefully this will get him back on track if he hits well at Winstom Salem though.

Boxscore Indianapolis vs. Charlotte Final 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E Indianapolis 1 2 0 3 0 0 0 6 7 1 Charlotte « 4 5 0 1 5 0 X 15 13 0 Log | Wrap | Box W:D.Sanders(1-1) L:J.Farnsworth(1-1) HR: IND- C.Hart (9), B.Gemoll (2), S.Scarborough (1) CHR- A.Torres (6), J.Reed (6), B.Smith 2 (15), M.Bell (12) Indianapolis AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI W K AVG Peter Bergeron cf 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .200 Chris Magruder lf 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .261 Corey Hart rf 4 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 .284 Jon Nunnally dh 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 .242 Chris Coste c 3 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 .301 Brandon Gemoll 1b 2 2 2 0 0 1 2 1 0 .260 Trent Durrington 3b 3 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .333 Matt Erickson 2b 3 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 .231 Stephen Scarborough ss 3 1 1 0 0 1 2 0 1 .213 Totals 28 6 7 2 0 3 6 2 6 &nbsp &nbsp Charlotte AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI W K AVG Andres Torres rf 4 3 3 0 0 1 2 0 0 .310 Jeremy Reed cf 3 4 3 1 0 1 4 1 0 .278 Bryant Nelson 2b 4 1 2 1 0 0 1 0 0 .316 Bobby Smith ss 4 2 2 0 0 2 7 0 0 .265 Joe Borchard dh 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 .268 Mike Bell 1b 3 1 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 .212 Mario Valenzuela lf 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 .229 Ryan Hankins c 4 2 2 1 0 0 0 0 0 .233 Rich Paz 3b 2 2 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 .253 Totals 31 15 13 3 0 5 15 4 2 &nbsp E_M. Erickson. LOB_Indianapolis 4, Charlotte 3. 2B_C. Coste (8), M. Erickson (14), J. Reed (12), B. Nelson (25), R. Hankins (8). HR_C. Hart (9) off R. Kohlmeier, B. Gemoll (2) off R. Kohlmeier, S. Scarborough (1) off R. Kohlmeier, A. Torres (6) off J. Farnsworth, J. Reed (6) off D. Reichert, B. Smith 2 (14) off J. Farnsworth, (15) off J. Farnsworth, M. Bell (12) off D. Reichert. RBI_C. Hart (34), B. Gemoll 2 (8), M. Erickson (11), S. Scarborough 2 (10), A. Torres 2 (20), J. Reed 4 (29), B. Nelson (39), B. Smith 7 (42), M. Bell (40). SB_T. Durrington (1). DP_Indianapolis 1. Indianapolis IP H R ER BB SO HR ERA Jeff Farnsworth (L 1-1) 2.0 8 9 9 1 1 3 5.82 Paul Stewart 2.0 1 1 1 1 0 0 7.71 Dan Reichert 1.0 4 5 5 1 0 2 2.40 Todd Erdos 1.0 0 0 0 1 1 0 6.85 &nbsp Charlotte IP H R ER BB SO HR ERA Ryan Kohlmeier 4.0 7 6 6 0 2 3 5.62 Dave Sanders (W 1-1) 2.0 0 0 0 2 3 0 5.55 Enemencio Pacheco 1.0 0 0 0 0 1 0 5.09 HBP_by T. Erdos (M. Valenzuela), by R. Kohlmeier (P. Bergeron). WP_D. Reichert, R. Kohlmeier. T_2:27. A_0. powered by www.sportsnetwork.com.

Carl and Kevin Potson about Kellen Winslow: "Because he's a f***in soldier!" :headshake

THE mathematical equation for the perfect joke has been revealed by scientists. Timandra Harkness and Helen Pilcher's formula is c=(m+nO)/p. The scientific pair are also stand-up comedians who make up the Comedy Research Project, which they run with the Science Museum in London. In the formula, c is the funniness of the joke; m is the comic moment which is arrived at by multiplying the punchline's funniness rating by the length of the joke's build-up. nO is the number of times the subject undergoes a pratfall, multiplied by the ouch factor - the social and physical pain of the indignity involved. The total is divided by the number of puns, p. The equation shows that if a joke consists of a long shaggy dog story, it doesn't require such a funny punchline as a shorter wisecrack. Puns weaken a joke because they tend to encourage groans rather than laughter.

A 92-year-old man living in a Himalayan village in India has survived 272 snake bites by following a simple tip - never eat salt, a report said. Amar Singh, whose home is deep in the remote Narag valley in India's mountainous Himachal Pradesh state, loves the creatures and despite being bitten never hits or kills them, the United News of India said. Instead, he picks up the hissing snakes and deposits them in their jungle homes. Singh received his survival tip more than 50 years ago from a traditional healer of snake bites, the report said.

Here ya go Mike, Greinke's all that's left for us to care about JOE POSNANSKI Call him Tory. That's T-O-R-Y, stands for “The Only Reason You…” and you can fill in the rest of the words. He is, for instance, The Only Reason You Would Even Think About Buying A Ticket This Year (Tory Wetabatty). He's The Only Reason You Stopped Incinerating Every Season Ticket Absolutely (Tory Siesta). He's The Only Reason You Just Overlook Erroneous Predictions Offered Surely in Newspapers And Never Scold Kind Inkers (Tory … oh, never mind). He is, of course, Zack Greinke. He is Tory MSC. The Only Reason You Might Still Care. No, it wasn't supposed to be like this. Many of us boldly predicted the Royals would win the American League Central — which, admittedly, looks a bit rash or maybe completely nuts — but even non-believers thought the Royals might be competitive, they would definitely score runs, they would fight at least. The reality, of course, is much, much worse than that. The fight is over. The fight never began, actually. The Royals have played all brands of lousy — they have pitched lousy, hit lousy, run lousy, fielded lousy and managed lousy. They have been so lousy, in fact, that Royals general manager Allard Baird (who admits he's done the lousiest job of them all) has decided it's time to close up the bar. He will soon trade Carlos Beltran and, if he can, just about everybody else. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. All that's left in the wreckage is Greinke, the 20-year-old phenomenon who looks like he's 12 and has more pitches than Donald Trump. Greinke threw again on Sunday, this time against Tom Glavine, who will be in the Baseball Hall of Fame someday. Greinke vs. Glavine was the official, Major League Baseball-endorsed story of the day, veteran vs. the kid, teacher vs. student, old man and the prodigy. And for a while, it looked like a classic duel — that is, until the fourth inning when Greinke hung a slider to Mike Piazza and watched him tattoo the ball 422 feet to dead center field. That's also when Carlos Beltran, apparently thinking he was playing at the old Polo Grounds with Willie Mays, ran full steam into the wall and hurt his knee. Greinke did pitch his heart out. He was a bit rattled at times, could not quite work out of a couple of jams, could not match Glavine, but the kid, as has been written here a dozen times already, is special. “I was very impressed,” Glavine said, and Royals manager Tony Peña said “This kid is going to be a great, great, great pitcher,” the first time, I believe, Tony has put three consecutive “greats” in one sentence this week. But even the wonder of watching Greinke cannot cover up the fiasco this team has become. With two men on in the second inning, Royals left fielder Byron Gettis watched three straight fastballs go by for strikes. Three straight. It's rare that you can honestly say, “I could have done that,” when watching big leaguers play, but I could have done that. Royals left fielders — and this is supposed to be where you put someone who can hit — are now hitting a robust .211. That isn't just the worst in the league; it's the worst by more than 50 points. The Royals scraped just four hits off of Glavine, but Ken Harvey did hit a double, which was needed because the Royals are dead last in the American League in doubles. That's incredible to me. This team is supposed to be about line drives into the gap and then hustling and grabbing the extra base, right? How many times in the last couple of years have Royals officials said, “We are a doubles-hitting team?” Not exactly. At home, with the fences moved back, the Royals have been outdoubled 74-43. Oh, there's bad news everywhere you look. The pitchers have no stuff. The Royals are on pace to become only the second American League team in a decade to strike out fewer than 800 batters in a season. The only other team to do that was Detroit, last season, and the Tigers lost 119 games. The lineup has no speed. I'm no huge fan of the stolen base, but it tells a pretty clear story that the Royals are on pace to steal 73 bases this year, their lowest total ever, fewer than Willie Wilson alone in '79. This team is slower than furniture delivery. And then in Sign No. 238 that Tony Peña has run out of ideas, he talks about running more with this club. There's a thought. This is like trying to sleep better by drinking more coffee. The team's approach — a favorite word of Allard Baird — has been awful. Brandon Berger, a longtime minor leaguer who inexplicably got another shot in the big leagues (and Sunday was mercifully released) gets called up and promptly forgets how many outs there are, overthrows cutoff men and jogs after fly balls. What? Darrell May and Brian Anderson, the Royals' two opening-day starting candidates, are allowing the league to hit a combined .345 against them. Excuse me? The Royals' leadoff hitters are hitting a combined .209. You guessed it: worst in the league. It's hard to watch. Sunday, the Royals once again failed to put together a simple three-game winning streak — haven't had one of those in a more than two months. Allard Baird won't say the words out loud, but he knows: This season's over. The only goal now is to get something decent for Beltran, deal off some of the veterans, get younger and find a couple of starting pitchers somewhere. The Royals have been in this spot an awful lot in the last 10 years. As the late, great Ray Charles might sing: It's rebuilding time again. At the very least, though, the Royals should have their No. 1 starter for the next six years. Zack Greinke is gifted. He's fun. And he's Tory Amec. The Only Reason You Actually Made it to the End of this Column.

I've been waiting for that article for a long, long time. Eat crow Joe.

Be thankful his new agent aren't the Potson brothers.