It's a tough call without knowing all the circumstances. Like was said, you could have been up against Mom's neighborhood friend or something. I know some people break it down by guests invited per person - like 50 per group or whatever, so you were #51 on a 50 person cut off. In your situation I lean towards you being right, an acquaintance, but who knows.

 

Guest lists are tough (I'm going through it now). Even tougher when you have a limited # of spots and 3 families to work with instead of 2. That changes everything significantly. Almost no friends get a plus one unless they are married or they are a true SIGNIFICANT other and we know them. That's just the reality of our situation, but who knows if people will realize that. My attitude - if you are really offended by that and don't want to come because of it, then that's fine, you don't have to. For every "random" plus one we threw in there, we'd have to cut one of our friends or family members. Call me crazy, I'd rather have more people there we know and love than essentially random strangers.

And more likely than not, after the wedding they'll say to each other "Why did we invite ____? We should have invited Ron instead."

 

I know I had those thoughts about certain people at our wedding. Some of our "friends" didn't even get us a card. f***ing lame.

Ditto.

We made an elaborate spreadsheet with quantitative rankings in 18 categories. Invites were decided based on numerical outcomes. Pitty her aunt got left out, but her GAR (gift above replacement) just really dragged her down.

And more likely than not, after the wedding they'll say to each other "Why did we invite ____? We should have invited Ron instead."

 

I know I had those thoughts about certain people at our wedding. Some of our "friends" didn't even get us a card. f***ing lame.

/examines list further.

 

It's a tough call without knowing all the circumstances. Like was said, you could have been up against Mom's neighborhood friend or something. I know some people break it down by guests invited per person - like 50 per group or whatever, so you were #51 on a 50 person cut off. In your situation I lean towards you being right, an acquaintance, but who knows.

 

Guest lists are tough (I'm going through it now). Even tougher when you have a limited # of spots and 3 families to work with instead of 2. That changes everything significantly. Almost no friends get a plus one unless they are married or they are a true SIGNIFICANT other and we know them. That's just the reality of our situation, but who knows if people will realize that. My attitude - if you are really offended by that and don't want to come because of it, then that's fine, you don't have to. For every "random" plus one we threw in there, we'd have to cut one of our friends or family members. Call me crazy, I'd rather have more people there we know and love than essentially random strangers.

We did the same things on plus 1's and personally I think it is perfectly appropriate. Unless the person was in our wedding party, they weren't going to be allowed to bring some random acquaintance that we'd never see again. Now if you are dating someone seriously and/or are married, than thats fine and we included a plus 1 on there invite. But there was no way, I was going to see the list of people I wanted to have at the wedding drop because we had to factor in a bunch of random people our single friends brought as plus ones'. Plus, regardless, a wedding is going to have a lot of single people and plenty of conversing anyway so if you are single and looking to mingle that opportunity is going to be there, haha.

We did the same things on plus 1's and personally I think it is perfectly appropriate. Unless the person was in our wedding party, they weren't going to be allowed to bring some random acquaintance that we'd never see again. Now if you are dating someone seriously and/or are married, than thats fine and we included a plus 1 on there invite. But there was no way, I was going to see the list of people I wanted to have at the wedding drop because we had to factor in a bunch of random people our single friends brought as plus ones'. Plus, regardless, a wedding is going to have a lot of single people and plenty of conversing anyway so if you are single and looking to mingle that opportunity is going to be there, haha.

I'm also saying this as someone who went to plenty of guy's friends weddings in college as a single without a date. I wasn't offended - I wasn't with anyone. Plus, I knew other people there. If you don't know anyone (somehow), maybe you try to work one in for them, but yeah, essentially cutting people you know for people you don't know doesn't really make sense. I don't care if it's not "proper," it's what's practical. Plus, you're footing the bill.

 

Also Jason did you have anyone reply to you and put a plus one on there even though you didn't give them one? Like they assumed it? If so how did you deal with it?

Edited May 18, 201114 yr by IlliniKrush

/examines list further.

 

yeah we did the same thing afterwards when we got to thinking about why a particular group or person was so "important" after all.

yeah we did the same thing afterwards when we got to thinking about why a particular group or person was so "important" after all.

Because of what they did/didn't get you? Because of their behavior at the event? Both? Something else?

We had a few that really annoyed us by RSVPing that they were coming and then not showing up. Annoyed as in "wasted a ton of money".

Because of what they did/didn't get you? Because of their behavior at the event? Both? Something else?

 

Nah, we had a pretty relaxed reception, so that kind of stuff wasn't a big deal. Heck I had a keg of my favorite local microbrew there and go ahold of the mic at some point to sing, so that tells you something.

 

More like a retrospective examination of our priorities. Something like why people from her dads work were more important than other friends.

I'm also saying this as someone who went to plenty of guy's friends weddings in college as a single without a date. I wasn't offended - I wasn't with anyone. Plus, I knew other people there. If you don't know anyone (somehow), maybe you try to work one in for them, but yeah, essentially cutting people you know for people you don't know doesn't really make sense. I don't care if it's not "proper," it's what's practical. Plus, you're footing the bill.

 

Also Jason did you have anyone reply to you and put a plus one on there even though you didn't give them one? Like they assumed it? If so how did you deal with it?

I think we had one person, which was on the list because of her parents, who added some random person. Since it was just one and was a parents friend, we didn't deal with it. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have said something if someone did do that anyway (since the goal was to make sure we didn't have 25 to 50 extra guests).

 

We did have one person who put himself and than went on to invite someone else anyway and let me know such intentions on the day of the wedding. I told him if he brought her, she could stand cause there wouldn't be a seat for her nor food for her (guy is just inconsiderate so I wasn't going to go out of my way for him). It was one of the few people I regretted inviting to the wedding.

 

But I never had anyone gripe or complain about the no plus 1 unless serious rule.

 

Its just stressful and I think people who have gone through a wedding, have a better idea of what it is like and tend to be more courteous than those who haven't been to many weddings/part of weddings and just don't realize the edicate and how much work goes into stuff and just how important it is to get an RSVP back, etc. The last thing you want to do is be tracking down and reaching out to people to find out if they are coming or not. Its just one more thing on a long list of things you have to do.

We had a few that really annoyed us by RSVPing that they were coming and then not showing up. Annoyed as in "wasted a ton of money".

 

We pretty much had those made up by the unannounced +1's and forgot to RSVP's and showed up anyway.

Nah, we had a pretty relaxed reception, so that kind of stuff wasn't a big deal. Heck I had a keg of my favorite local microbrew there and go ahold of the mic at some point to sing, so that tells you something.

 

More like a retrospective examination of our priorities. Something like why people from her dads work were more important than other friends.

 

Plus if you ever want to see a pic of Kap in a veil, I have it.

Plus if you ever want to see a pic of Kap in a veil, I have it.

 

Why isn't this your avatar?

We made an elaborate spreadsheet with quantitative rankings in 18 categories. Invites were decided based on numerical outcomes. Pitty her aunt got left out, but her GAR (gift above replacement) just really dragged her down.

This literally made me lol. Well played sir.

And more likely than not, after the wedding they'll say to each other "Why did we invite ____? We should have invited Ron instead."

 

I know I had those thoughts about certain people at our wedding. Some of our "friends" didn't even get us a card. f***ing lame.

 

Well, of course.

 

And it sucks, as I'm a very good gifter.

It's a tough call without knowing all the circumstances. Like was said, you could have been up against Mom's neighborhood friend or something. I know some people break it down by guests invited per person - like 50 per group or whatever, so you were #51 on a 50 person cut off. In your situation I lean towards you being right, an acquaintance, but who knows.

 

Guest lists are tough (I'm going through it now). Even tougher when you have a limited # of spots and 3 families to work with instead of 2. That changes everything significantly. Almost no friends get a plus one unless they are married or they are a true SIGNIFICANT other and we know them. That's just the reality of our situation, but who knows if people will realize that. My attitude - if you are really offended by that and don't want to come because of it, then that's fine, you don't have to. For every "random" plus one we threw in there, we'd have to cut one of our friends or family members. Call me crazy, I'd rather have more people there we know and love than essentially random strangers.

 

How did this come about?

Crash the mfer.

How did this come about?

 

In our case, both of my parents divorced and remarried.

Furthering my belief that when I get married, I'm eloping. I wouldn't be up for dealing with the drama of planning a wedding.

Crash the mfer.

This, bring a bottle of really nice whiskey, fakeout giving it to them as a present, then drink it all that day.

 

Oh, and have someone from Soxtalk video record it all.

How did this come about?

Her parents are divorced and the Dad remarried. So you've got 3 extended families/family friends instead of 2 extended families/family friends. Spots get eaten up quickly by people who are essentially "must have" invites.

In our case, both of my parents divorced and remarried.

 

Ah, that makes sense.

 

Crash the mfer.

 

Haha, I'm way too quiet and nice in person to do that (I know it wouldn't seem like it from my behavior here).

 

I have known this guy since we were kids, though. We went to school together from kindergarten through high school and I still see him quite a bit. It's a real kick in the balls, I'll say that much.

Edited May 18, 201114 yr by Milkman delivers

We made the "+1" decision on a case by case basis for our wedding. If we didn't know the +1 and they would know alot of others at the wedding - no +1. We took some flak for it, but it was the right call. Our space was definitely limited.

 

The best decision we made was gambling that many of my wife's out of town relatives would RSVP no. We invited all of them, the majority RSVP'd no w/ a check included.....score.

Completely off any kind of topic (I guess that's what the Catch All is for), but I find it weird that the last 4 girls I've dated have better tits than asses, and I've long considered myself an ass man.

 

I'm more interested in the business end than the sign out front too.