Apparently there is some outrage that ESPN used another "racial" headline, and it got me thinking... have you ever had a massage with a happy ending?

I took the headline (oops am I in trouble for calling it a headline?) to mean like in a story, not in a massage parlor.

No.

 

But I sometimes wonder who the racist is: the headline writer, or the person that actually made that association?

No.

 

But I sometimes wonder who the racist is: the headline writer, or the person that actually made that association?

In this case, I'm pretty sure it's the reader.

didn't know Ward was Korean.

That's about as far as you can stretch something.

Oh, and to answer the question, no. Jacking off is cheaper and I have a wife who keeps me quite pleased.

Apparently there is some outrage that ESPN used another "racial" headline, and it got me thinking... have you ever had a massage with a happy ending?

 

Oh GMAFB with the racist bulls***. Whoever is complaining needs to seriously get over themselves. Once again, the pussification of American in full force with this uber PC crap.

 

As for the question, no. (assuming you're talking about from a massage parlor) I have always wondered how people do it though. Is there protocol? Do you just flat out ask? How much is it?

I've never even had a massage, period.

 

Who is the person who's had a happy ending?

How was his grip? I kid, kudos.

 

I never have. All my masseuses have been disappointingly professional.

A massage parlor in my hometown got busted for the 'happy endings' sometime last year. Though knowing the state of the town these days.....i can only imagine the level of 'talent' employed in the place would not make it worth it.

My friend tried for one at a strip club in Tampa, didnt work.

In this country it's almost always illegal, even suggesting it is. If someone is a licensed/certified massage therapist they won't do it... if you know any, ask them sometimes how many people try to ask on the sly, they'll probably roll their eyes.

Larry David stopped after 12 pumps

Larry David stopped after 12 pumps

Oh man, that episode was classic.

Oh GMAFB with the racist bulls***. Whoever is complaining needs to seriously get over themselves. Once again, the pussification of American in full force with this uber PC crap.

 

As for the question, no. (assuming you're talking about from a massage parlor) I have always wondered how people do it though. Is there protocol? Do you just flat out ask? How much is it?

 

I have always wondered the same thing. how does one go about asking for it. Do you say you want/need an "adult" massage?

That's about as far as you can stretch something.

 

"That's what she said" (right before the happy ending).

 

Seriously though, I never would have made a racial connection to that in a million years.

 

 

I think it would be incredibly interesting to see the effect legalization of happy endings would have on the stripper and hooker industries.

Seriously though, I never would have made a racial connection to that in a million years.

 

I think it would be incredibly interesting to see the effect legalization of happy endings would have on the stripper and hooker industries.

Hook strip clubs to VIP "health" spas.

 

That's a cash cow right there.

I have always wondered the same thing. how does one go about asking for it. Do you say you want/need an "adult" massage?

 

It would of course be a he said/she said kind of scenario, but outright asking could potentially bring forth the lawsuits and allegations about emotional distress, inability to function properly at work, and sexual abuse. It's doubtful, but I wouldn't take a chance on something that could put me on the neighborhood perv list and all that good stuff. If I wanted to shoot for it, I would leave my wallet at home and move all the cash to a money clip. Place the money clip in an easily visible spot so it's right there for her to see. If you want the dramatic effect, keep it with you and right as massage is about to begin ask her to hold on just a sec, retrieve the clip from your person. Politely ask her if she can "please take this and put it over there".

 

Also, try to avoid keeping singles on the outside. Better yet, don't bring them at all. If you're carrying singles for this then the happy ending you may get is her reading Aladdin or Lion King from a childrens book to you- anything that ends with and they lived happily ever after. That will teach you.

Just to be clear: They are saying Hines Ward isn't wanking people off?

You will know if you are in a place where a "happy ending" is even possible. No legitimate massage professional will offer one and you will be insulting them and their profession. If you are in a spa with a well lit waiting room, receptionist with a large window that she slides open, offer of billing your insurance company, a bill that will be titled from that company, a professionally attired male or female masseuse, no happy ending.

 

If you are in a dimly lit trailer, a half mile from a truck stop, a security person instead of a receptionist, a solid wood window that is too small to fit a head through, your credit card will be billed as some weird sounding company you never heard off (or better, please pay cash), the person offering the massage is wearing almost nothing at all, and she asks if you prefer baby oil or baby powder, happy ending. If they do offer happy endings, they want the extra cash (I hesitated to say tips) and will guide first time customers right through the process.

For what it's worth, I definitely know a few guys that have gotten them. There was (as I'm pretty sure it's been shut down by the city) an Asian massage parlor near here, and they did it. I still have no idea how they went about asking for it, though.