shoeless_joe21

Getz: "Can't pull off a worse trade than Tatis if you keep the system stocked with middling prospects incapable of becoming stars."

I hope they take Oakie, if only so I can be less sad when he doesn't go to Iowa.

At this point, just give managerial duties to a random fan every game. It'll improve attendance, and will lead to just as few wins. Announce it Price is Right style too, so the winner has to run screaming all the way from their seats down to the field. "Bill Kowalski of Orland Park...COME ON DOWN! You're the next manager of the Chicago White Sox!"

That's a good point. Although, Glorbatron did fall off KeithLaw-GPT's top 100 following the trade. Just don't underestimate how much the fans love Burger IV. He isn't a traditional descendent. He's a clone of the original Jake, but with Achilles heels made from synthetic super flesh and a full head of hologram hair.

The year is 2097. The White Sox have just traded fan favorite Jake Burger IV for top prospect Glorbatron the Destroyer. It is hailed as the final piece of the rebuild. Team owner Jerry Reinsdorf seems reinvigorated.

Grifol would make outrageous claims, like Gavin Sheets invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

Jordan Sprinkle is an 80 grade name for a weatherman.

These Getz/Grifol quotes need to be delivered in a Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey format.

We're all going to feel pretty silly when Pedro cooks up a new acronym and lights a fire under this team.

Paul DeJong sampled a bong. Paul DeJong sampled all game long. All Pedro's coaching and all Jerry spent, couldn't make Paul DeJong FAST again.

You got to know when to hold 'em, and know when to Grifold 'em.

I don't agree with it, but I get it. With Cease gone, there just isn't another starter that brings any excitement.

I have to imagine Chris Getz specifically must be petrified of telling Jerry how promotions are often based on merit.

Thorpe's strikeout numbers are gaudy, his control is pinpoint, and his change is pure filth. I'm okay with him not being some jacked fireballer, like the version of Kopech we traded for. The guy can flat-out pitch.

"I... (nervous pause) am excited for a 2024 White Sox spring training game."

I think it's the shirt. It looks like it was tailored to fit Grimace.

This is the problem with retaining a coach who clearly sucks. Even someone as delusional as Grifol recognizes that he’s on the hot seat. He's in survival mode. His decisions are going to be based on what he deems best in the short-term, because that's all he's guaranteed to be here for. Finding out what we have in Colas, Sosa, Lee, etc. and being patient through their growing pains is what's best long-term (heck, probably short-term as well), but Pedro likely sees it as a one-way ticket out of town.

Set several pies out on windowsills to cool. I've seen it work in cartoons.

They should mime like they're pulling out a chair, and then take a seat at an invisible table.

The sour ending to TA's run will fade over time, but I'll always remember the Field of Dreams walk-off. I had gone on leave for several months from my job to care for my dad at the time. He was paralyzed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's). He was still the same person mentally, just trapped in his body. Watching TV had become his main entertainment, so I can't overemphasize how much events like that meant to him. Everything about that game was perfect. I grew up in Iowa, close enough to that field to have taken a field trip there as a kid. The entire sky turned this incredible pink color that night, which I'd never seen it do before or since. It was surreal to see our Sox playing under the same sky we saw out the window of my parents' place. Even if they'd only blown the lead in the top of the 9th, I would've been very grateful for the memory. But to walk it off like that made it beyond special to us. Thanks TA.

Ron Park o' Vice

"Play motivated to win." LOL. I knew the bar for this season was low, but I didn't realize it was "just avoid another Black Sox scandal" low.

I'm with you. The funny thing is, I only expect our defense to be above average. But to our Sox fan eyes, it will look like a circus of cartwheeling Ozzie Smiths.

This is going to play out in modern Sox fashion. We begin with the hope of JR spending the money required, it quickly becomes apparent he won't, and ten years from now we move into the ruins of Kauffman Stadium.