Texsox

A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window ... "Uh, yes, officer?" "What are you doing?" "Well, isn't it obvious? I'm reading a magazine, sir " Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: "And her, what is she doing?" The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater." Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car, at night in a lovers' lane. And nothing obscene is happening! "What's your age, young man?" "I'm 25, sir." "And her ... what's her age?" The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

A man owned a small farm in West Texas. The Wage and Hour Department of Texas claimed he was not paying proper wages to his lp and sent an agent to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a month plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit that works about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 a week and I buy him chewing tobacco," replied the farmer. "That's the guy I want to talk to; the half-wit," says the agent. The farmer says, "That would be me."

Shower like a Women How True is This: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE WOMAN: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups. 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. 11. Shave armpits and legs. 12. Turn off shower. 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 15. Check entire body for blemishes, tweeze hairs. 16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Wash your face. 6. Wash your armpits. 7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower. 9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 11. Shampoo your hair. 12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 13. Pee. 14. Rinse off and get out of shower. 15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 16. Admire wiener size in mirror again. 17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. 19. Throw wet towel on bed.

And the world is there to help them. Why the hell did they beg for our help?

No, it's a fun little song. You, may like it.

No need to start a new thread, this seems on topic Two couples were playing cards one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill's wife's legs were spread and she wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John upon tried to sit back up again, hit his head on the table & emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed & asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well, indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500." After taking a minute or two to assess the financial situation as well as the moral costs of this offer, John indicated that he was indeed interested. She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons & John doesn't, that John should be at her house around 2pm Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house for the planned time at 2pm sharp & after paying her the agreed upon $500, they went to the bedroom & closed their transaction as she had promised. Afterwards, John quickly dressed & left. As usual, Bill came home from work at 6pm & upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly, "Did John come by the house this afternoon?" With a lump in her throat, Bill's wife answered, "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?" In terror, she assumed that somehow he had found out, & after mustering up her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500." Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning & borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home & pay me back." NOW THAT'S A PLAYER! ! !

The Penis Song

music.download.com Also PM sox4lifeinPA, I think he was starting a site, at the least he'll have some good leads.

I have Time-Warner and they are doing it. They are aso playing the same 2 damn commercials over and over again. If I see the idiot with the Cub hat or the dad bringing in some washed up Indian player again I will :puke

I somehow think a major bottom of the 9th rally is more interesting than Koch going 3-2 on a bunch of batters. ESPN places the most interesting news on top. As far as the Yankees and Bo-Sox getting a lot of press, compare the Mets with the Yankees. Winning gets you air time. Call up and demand more Brewer coverage, we all want to see bottom andmid pack team highlights. ESPN covers the top teams and like it or not the Yankee-Bo Sox is a major race.

Vince, Since you are seeing a glimpse of the future, did you see a bright light?

Hmm, it is a step up from Billy Botch :fyou :fyou

Is the government program that is bad, or the fact that WalMart assists their employees from finding and utilizing these programs? I partcipated in a conference on Child Care options for employees. It was discovered that in my area there are 7 different subsidized programs run on a private, local, state, and federal government level. Child Care was identified as one of the biggest hurdles for poor people in improving their lives. This is especially true for single moms. Human Resource Managers reported: *Employees who turned down $1 per hour pay raises so they would not lose their child care benefits. Turns out there was a different program that would have helped this person, the employee and the HR Mgr. had no idea it was out there. *Employees who remain single to avoid losing their benefits. Most of the top HR managers had no clue all of the programs that were out there to help their employees. The two companies that did seem to be able to help? Ticketmaster and WalMart. I spend a lot of my work time helping small and medium size companies be competitive. It is my job to point them towards programs that can help. I give advice along the lines of "build that new facility over there and qualify for an enterprise zone tax break. Hire from this pool and qualify for a welfare to work credit, employ these people and they qualify for a federal job re-training program." Am I doing something wrong by publicizing these government programs?

Hmmm, Why would we want to give any of that money to the individual men and women who actually did something, when you could give it to giant US corporations (re: Haliburton, etc.) to rebuild the country?

Cali, were going to hell for thinking that is funny, but damn, it is. In a really sick disturbing way

The other night when Peter was forced to get into his feminin side was the best. The scene where he tries to breast feed Stew, and Stew's exression when he realizes what is going on had me laughing so hard, I couldn't breath.

As I predicted both trophies would be going to the same school on the east coast.

I don't see anyone up in their pen. I can't beleve he'll be out for the 6th

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss! Make that an extra 20 feet to keep those in. I'll bet May is out of gas

They might want to move the fence back 10 more feet

Yesssssssssssssssssssssss!

Grab some bench Kose

Kose Kalentin at the plate.

2 bad 3 outs