Chicago White Sox

Probably paralyzed from consuming too many milkshakes

Oh f*** me

Zero chance even Pedro blows this one IMO

Yup

Alright, this is now Pedro proof! Time to pour a glass of whiskey to celebrate the first win of the season!

Ducksnort offense!

You are giving Pedro way too much credit here in terms of his strategic thinking

He will be up soon enough I’d imagine

And I’ll take that end of an inning

I love me some Yoan, but dude just breaks my heart every time I think about what if he could stay healthy.

Because what if the bench coach is in the shitter when Pedro gets tossed? Who coaches then smart guy?!

Prove me wrong, but bringing in Kopech with 1 out and two runners on would be considered doing “something stupid”. May the baseball gods take mercy on our souls and grant Kopech with immense mental fortitude this inning.

Pedro is such a gentleman in how he addresses shitty umpiring

Six outs away from our first win! We should be able to close this out assuming Pedro doesn’t do something stupid.

I know it’s early, but I know a .091 OPS is never good

Because Pedro doesn’t want to go 0-5 and we are two innings away from possibly lucking into a win. This is exactly what we should all be worried about.

I hate even typing this, but there is no way Grifol doesn’t get Crochet injured at some point. Like he isn’t even attempting to manage his pitch count or innings at this point.

Groundball city!

And there is a monstrous duck snort from the big fella!

Runner on this with one out and our cleanup hitter up What could go wrong??

Hopefully you don’t think of this guy when you watch Vaughn batting like I do

I was telling someone at Easter yesterday that there is no doubt in my mind that we should have traded Vaughn over Burger. Jake is a way better hitter given the power differential, a significantly better base runner, and likely a better defensive 1B if given a full time shot. I have literally lost all faith in Andrew ever being an above average 1B.

It’s truly wild that Sheets is batting cleanup despite putting DFA worthy offensive numbers in his major league career

I got bad news for you about the next ~1,400

Crochet in this case