Todd Helton Disappointed To Be On Area Man's Fantasy-Baseball Team

March 9, 2006 | Onion Sports

 

DENVER—Shortly after being selected in the second round of a local online fantasy-baseball draft, Rockies All-Star first-baseman Todd Helton announced Monday that he would much rather play for "any of the other 11 teams in the league." "I've played for this guy in the past, and he has no idea how to manage his team, and often loses interest and stops competing after just a couple months," Helton said, referring to Mets 4 Life owner and Trenton-area pizza-delivery man Ryan Sheehy. "Last season, I got off to a bit of a slow start, and the guy benches me the rest of the year in favor of Doug Mientkiewicz. I lose enough as a member of the Rockies. I just wish I could play for a capable manager like [The Damon Connection's] Mike Broberg or [smilin' Joe Randa's] Garrett Baldwin." Helton added that, if it were worth the effort to find a way to contact Sheehy, he would demand a trade.

I feel so out of touch. I don't have a myspace, or a friendster, or a facebooker...

 

You know who I just thought of, lol, Anthrax.

 

He still around?

You know who I just thought of, lol, Anthrax.

 

He still around?

Banned, IIRC.

Banned, IIRC.

Correctamundo

I feel so out of touch. I don't have a myspace, or a friendster, or a facebooker...

 

I didn't know Rowand44 worked on the Daily Show.

2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and

it will be gone in two days.

 

So they're saying Coke helps digestion?

 

I replaced the majority of my Coke consumption with water a few weeks ago and I generally feel better, my pants fit better and I don't get that mid-day drag anymore.

Edited March 12, 200620 yr by The Critic

I didn't know Rowand44 worked on the Daily Show.

Rowand44 isn't nearly that funny.

2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and

it will be gone in two days.

 

So they're saying Coke helps digestion?

 

I replaced the majority of my Coke consumption with water a few weeks ago and I generally feel better, my pants fit better and I don't get that mid-day drag anymore.

 

If you do put meat in coke, it will dissolve, but it takes a few days, for a small piece of meat. A big T-Bone would take longer.

 

Get a 2 liter of coke and a tube of mentos and see what happens. pour the tube in a fresh bottle and enjoy your fountain.

Did I just see T R U on the active member list?

 

My computer must not be working.

Did I just see T R U on the active member list?

 

My computer must not be working.

He's going to be making a post shortly, but he has been unbanned. I'll be explaining it in his post. I know we had a whole issue with jabroni coming back so he's going to make a post and than I'll respond saying he was allowed back into the site and why. That way everything is out in the open.

Rowand44 isn't nearly that funny.

 

Oh, i know. Just looks like him.

I think I might be the only person in college that doesnt have any of them.... :headshake

False.

I think I might be the only person in college that doesnt have any of them.... :headshake

Wrong.

I think I might be the only person in college that doesnt have any of them.... :headshake

 

Incorrect.

Today was peanut day at our local Farm Fleet. They had boxes of peanuts around the building, and you could just throw the shells on the ground.

 

Also, we got golf ball sized hail last night. There's chunks of shingles on the ground, some pieces of patch concrete broken around the house, and some solar lights got completely trashed.

What is up with this MySpace phenomenon. In my day, people who had their own webpages were just called nerds. Why cant people meet other people face to face, and what happened to the phone?

 

I miss the days of not having cell phones as well. Remember when you could actually wait for someone to call you back? Now, people get angry when they think you are ignoring their calls, texts, myspace bulletins, IMs.

What is up with this MySpace phenomenon.  In my day, people who had their own webpages were just called nerds.  Why cant people meet other people face to face, and what happened to the phone? 

 

I miss the days of not having cell phones as well.  Remember when you could actually wait for someone to call you back?  Now, people get angry when they think you are ignoring their calls, texts, myspace bulletins, IMs.

It's all about instant gratification these days. I want it to end. AND I WANT IT TO END NOW, DAMMIT!!

 

Happy Pi day!

Happy Pi day!

3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 028841971 6939937510 5820974944 59230781640628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 91715364367892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 8301194912 9833673362 4406566430 8602139494 6395224737 19070217986094370277 0539217176 2931767523 8467481846 7669405132 0005681271 4526356082 778577 and going...

i would kill for some giordano's right now.

i would kill for some giordano's right now.

Well maybe your spring break should be a week earlier.

It's all about instant gratification these days.  I want it to end.  AND I WANT IT TO END NOW, DAMMIT!!

 

 

I'm not crazy about your political views, but I love your sense of humor.