The Critic

L-A-C-K-H-A-W-K-S This team will be totally lucky to be 500 at the end of the season. You can save this post and quote me too. HEY SPOILSPORTS, QUIT PILING ON!!! Do I expect them to sip "fine shompanya" from Lord Stanley's Goblet anytime soon? ........NO. Do I think they'll be a fun team to watch as they try to regain respectability, a la the Bulls current program? .....I think they can, and I have a feeling they will. You can be sure that a Sutter team will play hard, and if the power play can do halfway decent this team MAY be able to steal enough games to sneak into the 8th spot. I hope they do, because they've always been my favorite Chicago team and I REALLY want them to be good again. I understand ALL TOO WELL the obstacles in the way ( obstacles named Wirtz, who doesn't give half a damn if this team EVER wins the Cup ) and I know their history - "Once we have to pay, they go away". I just want them to compete...

Has it been FIVE YEARS already??? Man, I remember when that story came out like it was yesterday. ...wow...

Bjork and the chick from Whale????? nnnNNNNNOOOOOooooooo!

AHHHHH, a Jeff Ross quote - EXCELLENT!!!! and Wino, the "half gay" part I can live with, but the "half French" part makes me want to BEAT YOU UP!!! Cuz I think that French people CHOOSE to be French and therefore are just BEGGING to be hit a whole bunch of times!!!

What atmosphere??? Half the dopes in that park are probably saying, "I didn't see this series on my pocket schedule - mine ends in September - I should complain." If the Series did happen to come to Chicago ( Go Marlins, by the way ), they'd probably say "I thought Interleague Play ended already!!!"

Kudos to the boss' neighbor!!!! I have NO interest in this series at all. None. I know some people will go just because it's playoff baseball and that's cool, but I just couldn't care less. On a totally unrelated note ( ), HOCKEY SEASON BEGINS TOMORROW!!!!

Spoilsport Number Two!!! As long as they play hard and don't play stupid, I'll be satisfied. Looks like they'll give "the kids" ( and doesn't that phrase sound like surrender since a few years ago? ) every chance to play, and that is a GOOD thing. I am getting tired of the Hawks being the Last Stop for aging veterans. Besides, I have to get my NHL fix before the lockout next season!

That REALLY sucks. Sad for everyone involved. R.I.P. Dan Snyder

Tobey Maguire has that sad dog look to his face that makes me want to punch him in the face, and Jack Black just bugs me with that "OH DUDE I ROCK" s***. Okay, Jack, we GET IT....you rock....thanks for reminding us.....again. As far as who I DO like, here's a short list off the top of my head. Chris Walken Kevin Bacon Seann William Scott James Spader Seth Green James Woods Ray Liotta Rob Lowe ( the creepy evil version ) Frances MacDormand Bill Murray Kevin Spacey

My only concern is the fact that Mike Hampton SUCKS, and he's going on short rest. I think Wood is due for a stinker, but Hampton can stink out the joint at any time. I just hope and pray that I get the chance to display the sCrUB logo I made that says "Choke" instead of "Cubs". It's beautiful and deserves to be displayed in all its glory.

That is one QUIET DumpyDome!!! As much as I hate the Spankees, this is FUN to watch!!!!!

The umpire was correct in the literal definition of the obstruction rule, because the rule gives the umpire the leeway to stop a play or not. He did not stop the play and Tejada stopped running anyway. At that point, it becomes the ump's discretion as to whether or not Tejada would have scored without the obstruction. Once Tejada stopped running, he took away any chance for the ump to determine that he would have scored without being obstructed. The only thing the ump could have judged ( and this is what MY call would have been ) is that the awful Ramirez throw would not have gotten Tejada at the plate, and Tejada would not have stopped running without the obstruction call, so he would have been safe and I would have ruled him safe at home.

Can Koch be overrated when everyone already thinks he sucks? And Jeter is overrated because he plays in NY and everyone there thinks every Spankee is Jesus.... :fyou the Spankees.

From what I read, the kids were music students and not actors, so that'd explain their musical ability. I have no interest in anything Jack Black does, so I won't be seeing this movie.

Burns turns to Smithers - "Have the Rolling Stones killed..." Smithers - "But SIR, I don't..." Burns - "DO AS I SAY!!!!!" excellent excellent stuff. And hey Yahtzee, Streets Of London is listed by the Sex Pistols, but I believe that's actually a song by Anti-Nowhere League....just FYI.

I eagerly await the stories of Guido verbally assaluting everyone in sight and getting kicked out of every gaming establishment on the Strip! I hope to hear ANYTHING even closely resembling this summer's classic "I f***ing didn't say f***ing s***, motherf***er!" Good luck harnassing in that Italian Lunatic! and....ROLL 'EM HOT!!!! Oh, yeah, and make sure you get your early longshot bet down on the LackHawks!!

His corner threw in the towel after Toney dropped Holyfield in the 9th. He didn't even protest his corner quitting for him. From all reports Holy had a good first round and did NOTHING after that. He really should hang up the gloves. It's been nice, but it's over.

I enjoy the Half Hearted Hop best of all - it's like he thinks: "Ay may no hove heet eet har enoff, boat Aye better HOP yust een CAY eet ees a hon ron..."

...and he heals crippled children with a laying of hands... "The key to Prior's laying of hands is the fact that he turns his wrist VERY LATE in the delivery, therefore ensuring maximum healing powers upon contact. Kerry Wood has inconsistent healing mechanics which lead to the children he heals sometimes walking with a limp or a cane, but Prior's even and consistent healing release point guarantees complete use and mobility of the limbs for the children he treats."

Heather, I lurk a little at Blackhawkzone.com, and I registered last year for the message boards ( although I can't remember my screen name ). I got kinda turned off by the endless bickering between the TBO lovers and the TBO haters, among other minor things. I'll probably re-register this year ( and WRITE my screen name down!! )

Knock some DOWN tonight, Killa!! Toast to LARRY JONES for sending that s*** back to Atlanta!!! And toast the half-hearted hop to end the game!!! Happy Birthday, Brutha!!!

Oh, it's a great story. According to my cousin's husband: Johnson was going about 100mph and he pulls him over. First thing Johnson says is, "Don't you know who I am?" He says, "Yes, I know you're a baseball player....and I am a police officer." Hands him the citation. Speed is good ON the field, Lance!!!

"Please Pitch To My Daddy" "Oh, That's Right, My Daddy's Out Of The Playoffs" SIT DOWN, BARRY!!!

Half a hop, warning track power!! "Son tine eet oppen, son tine eet DON' oppen!!"

Spoilsport!!!