The Critic

And an EXCELLENT SNL reference at that!!!

Then I'm in that minority, too. I just think that putting him out there once in a while might keep him from overthinking every at-bat and festering this idea in his head that every umpire in MLB calls a different strike zone for him than they do for everyone else in the majors. Then if he gets on a roll, he can relax and just swing the bat. DH'ing isn't for everyone - you have to have a different mindset to play 1/2 a game and be comfortable with it. Frank has always been a hyper-sensitive guy, and the less time he has to wallow in his last at-bat, the better I think he is for it.

"Ohhh....deed Ay say dot OW LOW??" "Ay onlee men too THEEN' dot!!" "Den Ay was goeen too say dot Ay yam yoos hoppee too bee bah weet my teen an' too hell dem ween the Nashnol Lee Cendroll Deebeezhon!!"

Half the mortgage? How often can you give blood???

Thought for a second that Maury finally realized that the whole Iraq thing was happening, and was gonna run to Canada!! It's okay, Maury, you can unpack the suitcase!!

Just for the sake of variety, I'll create a new response: Who the f*** would want Carlos Beltran??????? I KNOW we haven't seen THAT response yet!!! Keepin' it Original!!!

....fly ball.........................................caught. Just Kidding!!! It should be fun to hear a new perspective!!

No, sorry, GW, I didn't catch the sarcasm - I probably don't know you well enough to read that in your posts yet. As far as paying for the date, my opinion has always been that if you ask someone out, you pay. It was your idea, after all. If and when you develop a relationship with that person, it should evolve into a situation where you each pay some of the time ( at least it did in my case ). if not, then you have a decision to make - whether it's worth it or not to continue paying the way. But maybe I've been out of the "game" for too long to really know what goes on anymore...

...you'll never know about that... I always take the hard stand on the challenging issues of our time!

It's funny how a Royce Report really DOES take some of the sting off a bad weekend...not completely, but other people's misery IS funnier than your own.

How bout "Hips" ?

I would much rather be "P-whipped" with a woman who gives me time and space to take part in my hobbies and activities and who respects our differences as a necessary part of our collective partnership than be a "lone wolf, single stud" who b****es and whines about a perceived "double standard" in a situation that he enters into on a volutary basis, yet does nothing to change it. Fact of the matter is, things are basically the way they've been for decades and some guys have no other course of action than to "take it", as you put it, and find some kind of comfort in the fact that other guys also take it. If you go into the "hunt" believing in those so-called double standards, then you're setting yourself up to fail, because those so-called double standards will always be in the back of your mind, ready to be used as a crutch when things don't always go your way, or God forbid, when you actually DO something that fits conveniently into your little list of complaints. I'm sorry that some of you can't find a good woman who can accept you, faults and all, but I'm not apologizing for my good luck. And trust me, my young friend, there's no death of any kind over here - best of luck to you.

Come on, that was a classic example of men crying to men about "poor poor men". Whether or not there are kernels of truth to it ( I think there were SOME - not all truth, but some rang true ), that's the same kind of stuff you see women whine about on "The View" and crap like that. In my own singular individual personal opinion, that was a very "boo hoo hoo" article.

Valentin is not a shortstop - maybe he can be the SIXTH center fielder of the season?? UGH...

Wow, that was one whiny article!! All I can say about the dating scene is that I lucked out and found a GREAT woman 13 years ago, and I don't EVER want to be in the dating pool again! I remember what a f***in headache it was to meet someone, go on a couple dates and find out that just TALLKING to her gave me a headache! ( Also on the other end of that equation, too - had women just disappear and never return calls ) Trying to find someone that you like, that also likes YOU, is a crapshoot at best - I'm always surprised when it happens!!

It was a decent exhibit, but I could have done with a little less of the women's league and "baseball as Hollywood" junk they had in there. It also wasn't as interactive as I had hoped - you could grab a few bats and whatnot, but the vast majority of stuff was behind glass. I enjoyed the Buck Weaver letter asking ( begging? ) for reinstatement - that's the kind of stuff I'd like to have seen more of. Thankfully, I got in for free....

See, this is what I hate about arriving late to a thread - all the wisecracks AND nice answers are taken! I was going to start my list with "my wife and daughter", because they really are the best part of my life. But "kids" was taken. Then I was going to say "my balls", cuz I've had them my whole life and I'm kinda attached to them, but that was taken too. So here's the short list - stuff only: Chair from REAL Comiskey Ticket stub from first ever game in The Ballpark Formerly Known As Comiskey 2 Picture of when I played in the City World Series at Real Comiskey Park, sitting right in front of King Richard I ( also known as REAL Mayor daley ), autographed on the back by King Richard himself, as well as by little-known Sox outfielder at the time, Pat Kelly As you may or may not remember, Kelly was African American. When I got older, I started to joke about the look that must've been on Daley's face when they intorduced him to Pat Kelly. He HAD to have been expecting a nice Irish boy, and then there's Pat Kelly.....great.

I don't shut up on the field, I don't shut up in the bar, why would I suddenly clam up at Maury's House Of Fun??? I'll TRY not to step on Guido's PBP too much! and Maury....what's the difference between your wart-sized blisters and SamMe's toenail??? HUH??? TOUGH GUY??? "Ay con play today, Coash, Ay have bleesters on my honds dee sigh of wars!" ...sissy... :finger

You didn't cramp your hand on the scorebook, didja? What happened, Maury? "Softball injury." Pulled hammy? Rotator cuff? "No...carpal tunnel from keeping score!" :finger And I'll say it now as I said it then, "Dee grass was sloween mee down ass mush as eet slow dee ball down, so ees all dee sane theen!!" Too bad we have no fans, or I'd have run out to them blowing kisses and tapping my chest in some bizarre gang signal!!!

The Critter, huh?? That's Reason # 674 why you suck, Maury!!! The first 673 are all softball-related!! 673, by the way, is the number of bounces the average Maury grounder takes to reach the 2nd baseman.

Yeah, Steve Thomas came out of his coma when he left, didn't he??? Something about playing for the LackHawks brings out the loafing zombie in everyone... :fyou Billy Buck Wirtz, you drunken Andy Griffith lookalike!!! ( there IS no offseason for Wirstz-bashing!! )

I'd only take him if the Reds threw in ( at NO extra charge ) the guy who'd have to play the 70 to 90 games a year Griffey misses due to injuries! Don't want him...nope.

NEVER reveal any hints about the location of "Maury's House Of Fun"!! The SnR studio location is a TIGHTLY HELD SECRET, and God only knows what could happen if that information falls into the wrong hands... "Hey, fellas, it's me, BlubberFanSteve!!! Why are you broadcasting SOX games??? The Cubbies are in FIRST PLACE!!! Instead of Sox And Roll, you should be broadcasting Cubbie Blues Radio!!!" "Tee hee hee hee hee......"

Yep, "free speech" is NOT free...you just never know what exactly the price is, or who's gonna make you pay...

If the Sox trade Crede, what's the picture at 3B look like? I'm not up on the Sox 3B prospects in the minors, but there's nobody I see anyone talking about very much at that position. That could just be because the Sox seem to be set there with Crede for a while. Any speculation on who would take third base if Joe were let go?