Texsox

QUOTE(EvilMonkey @ Jun 2, 2006 -> 08:31 PM) You know, I think hell might be freezing over or something. Tex, I agree with what you just wrote! While the reasoning he gave for lowering NY's was pretty bad, he should have just said "Hey NY, quit hogging all the dough, other places need a bit also!" We can make fun of our country all we want, but we rarely do something unbelievably stupid. Stupid, yes. But not on that scale and in such a high profile project.

June 2, 2006 NOTE FROM CHRIS: Seeing as how it's Friday, and summer, and everyone here at TopFive is feeling all Fridayish and summery, we thought we'd go for one of our extra-long lists today, and open the doors so everyone can see it. ClubTop5ers, of course, are used to this treatment, since they get ALL our delectable goodies EVERY day. For all the details on membership privileges, go here: http://www.topfive.com/html/ClubTop5.shtml Paul McCartney and his wife of four years have separated. The Top 30 Beatles Lyrics About Divorce 30> My attorneys, Maxwell, Silver & Hammer, will come down upon your head. My attorneys, Maxwell, Silver & Hammer, will make you wish that your were dead. 29> And I don't care too much for money Money can't buy me love. Can't buy me lo-- Wait! What the hell am I saying?!? 28> You'd better give me your money, Or I'll serve you some legal papers. And when we're finished with negotiations, You'll be broke, clown. 27> All you need: pre-nup. All you need: pre-nup. All you need: pre-nup, yup. A pre-nup's all you need. 26> Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're after half my cash. And maybe I'm afraid you'll probably get it. 25> Why don't we do it in the road? Can you say, "Irreconcilable differences"? 24> Hey, dude, don't be a mouse -- Raise an objection about her blouse. The minute the judge gets sight of those tits, He'll lose his wits -- and me, my house. 23> Happiness is a warm gun -- and much more satisfying than a court-ordered division of property. 22> Dear Sir or Madam, will you take my case I used to love him now I can't stand his face. Bathes on occasion, maybe once a year, Man, I hate the slob, so I'm looking for a good divorce lawyer. 21> Yesterday, alimony seemed so far away. Now it looks as though I'll pay and pay. Where's my pre-nup from yesterday? 20> I have to admit it's getting bitter. It's getting bitterer all the time. 19> I saw a lawyer today, oh boy. Ten thousand pounds for only half an hour. The news he offered made me sad: "Paul, she even gets your grass." Now I understand how John could make that Yoko Ono thing last. 18> You said, "Goodbye." Now I say, "HELL NO!" 17> Jojo was a man who said he was a woman, When he boinked another man. The former Mrs. Jojo said he's got it coming From Arskovitz & Moran. Get back! Get back! Get back at least 100 yards! 16> Will you depose me, Will you just hose me, When I'm 64? 15> Ooh, then you suddenly ditch me. Ooh, now I've got to enrich you, Every single day of my life. Got to get you out of my life! 14> .deb ni ysuol saw lauP .deb ni ysuol saw lauP 13> Busted marriage, money spent. Got no future, just torment. All the cash withdrawn, nowhere to go. Lawyer's got me by the sack. By Monday morning, jury's back. The house belongs to her, nowhere to go. And oh, that homeless feeling, nowhere to go. 12> Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be. Since that gold-digger castrated me. 11> You say you want a dissolution, well, you know, We both know this marriage blows. But when it comes to retribution, well, you know, I'll soon be paying through the nose. 10> Uniformed bailiffs appear at the door, Coming to drag you away. Look for the girl with your balls in her hand and she's gone. Lucy got your jewels and diamonds. Lucy got your jewels and diamonds. Arghhhhhhh! 9> There goes old Heather, she goes sneakin' and fakin'. She got dollar eyesight, she one bad ballbreaker. She got lawyers crawling on their knees. Better grab your wallet, 'cause it's gonna get squeezed. Come together, right now, in courtroom 3. 8> Hey, you've got to hide your 401(k). 7> Golden ingots fill your eyes. Piles await you as your prize. Sue, little darling, don't be shy. And I will kiss my loot goodbye. 6> Oh, my lawyer will tell you something, I hope you'll understand. You can keep the homes and autos... I wanna own your band! 5> Day after day, he's over the hill. A man with big wads of cash, but as for brains, he's got nil. And nobody wants to know him, They can see that he's just a fool. First he let Linda sing some backup, Now Heather's got him by the tool. 4> I'm licking a ho when my wife walks in. I just can't stop philandering. Now she will go-o. 3> When my penis gets me into trouble, Lawyer Marty comes to me, Speaking words of wisdom... for a fee. 2> I once had a wife, or should I say, she once had me. She showed me her leg, it looked so real, Norwegian steel. and Topfive.com's Number 1 Beatles Lyric About Divorce... 1> Sitting in a courtroom, waiting for the judge to come. Cough up all your assets, stupid bloody cheater, Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your zipper down. I am the plaintiff. You're the defendant. He's my attorney. OOH, OOH, YOU'RE SCREWED! Join ClubTop5 to see the whole 30-item list and the Runner Up/Honorable Mention submissions for today's list: "Bad Apples" and "Tragical Misery Tour" http://www.topfive.com/html/clubtop5.shtml

United States of America. Is it time to forget about the whole states thing and start thinking nationaly?

QUOTE(YASNY @ Jun 2, 2006 -> 02:31 AM) A few years of political gridlock might be just the ticket. These two poor excuses of of political parties, so called representives of the American people, are so busy scratching each others back behind closed doors that they don't know how to properly represent the American people any more. Rob the blind, yes. Represent, no. Yes, put a third party, with a third of the power, in Washington. Let the political gravy train come to a grinding halt. Then, we'll get to see who really wants to represent Joe & Jane Citizen. When things come to halt, the stuff that matters to the people will be the only thing that can get accomplished. When the people care enough about something, and nothing is getting done, they'll have to listen. Right now, they can put fiasco legislatation out and say they are doing something, but they aren't doing s*** FOR the American people. Just TO us. You are much more optimistic than I. The budget has to pass, to get it to pass, the gravy train would be out of control getting enough votes. We'd see more pork than a Jimmy Dean sausage factory.

Not the Promised Land, but a land with promise By Warren Smith This Memorial Day, as most of the country was enjoying a long weekend, I was driving across the country, on a long-distance road trip with my 20-year-old daughter Brittany. But before I tell you that story, let me back up a bit. You see, 30 years ago this summer - indeed, 30 years ago this very week -- in June of 1976, I began a job at Philmont Scout Ranch in Cimarron, New Mexico. You may have heard of Philmont. Certainly if you've ever been involved in the Boy Scouts you have, because Philmont is the largest Boy Scout Camp in the world. Each summer, more than 25,000 Scouts and adult leaders go there, and they are served by about 1000 seasonal staff members. Thirty years ago, I was one of those staff members. And, for that matter, so was my wife, Missy. That's where we met, at Philmont. And almost 10 years later, in 1985, we worked there again as husband and wife. We were both teachers who had our summers off, so it was also at Philmont that we discovered that we were expecting our first child, this same Brittany. This summer Brittany herself would be working at Philmont -- in exactly the same backpacking guide job -- they're called "rangers" -- that I had 30 years ago. So on Saturday of the Memorial Day weekend, Brittany and I got in her little car at 5:30 in the morning, and started driving West. We had a sense, as Huck Finn famously said, of "lighting out for the territory." Robert Penn Warren less famously, but more directly, said that the West is where Americans have always gone to flee their lives, to remake themselves. To lose themselves, and to find themselves. As we turned on to Interstate 40, which for much of its way follows the path of the famous Route 66, all the way to Santa Monica Pier on the Pacific Ocean, Phantom Planet's "California" came up randomly on the CD player. It's a song that many people today know as the theme for the television program "The O.C." But, more to the point here, it's a bittersweet song about reaching the end of the road, literally and spiritually. "California here I come, right back where I started from." The words are from an old "Tin Pan Alley" song, but the minor chords give this version a new meaning. The earlier song was one that fully embraced the idea of a Golden West. But this new version, with its minor chords, said something different. It said this: "What you discover at the end of this road is that there's no avoiding yourself. No matter where you go, there you are." We were not going all the way to California, but we were headed into the Far West, ending up in Santa Fe by Sunday evening. And on this trip I would not go all the way to Philmont, either. This summer I would not, as Brittany would be able to do, throw away my watch and walk as I pleased in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains, named for the cleansing Blood of Christ. For me, now, there was not enough time. I had to get back home and get to work. Like Moses, who led his people out of bondage but did not get to enter the Promised Land himself, so I had to return to the captivity of work, and the tyranny of the clock. But Brittany is a part of the Joshua generation, the generation that gets to enter the Promised Land. At least for now. So on Memorial Day Monday, the third day of this expedition into the West, I catch a shuttle from Santa Fe to the Albuquerque airport and fly back to the East. Brittany would drive the last two hours to Philmont on her own. As I sat on the plane, literally on the runway in Albuquerque, my cell phone rang. It was Brittany. There was excitement in her voice. "I can see the mountains," she said, almost yelling into the phone above the road noise and the sound of her specially burned "road trip" CD. She called their names to me over the crackly cell phone, and I thought about how oddly appropriate these names were for this conversation. Brittany didn't know it, but she was describing my world at mid-life: Baldy. Touch-me-not. The Tooth of Time. The flight attendant gave me a hard look that meant I had to turn off my "portable electronic device." So I told Brittany I loved her and hung up. What this summer held for her I did not know. Sure, I had an inkling, but every generation must make the journey for itself, and every journey is different. I did, though, recognize that excitement in her voice. It was the same excitement I had, at times, heard it in my own. It was the excitement you feel when you are at the edge of -- well, not exactly the Promised Land, but a land of great promise. And you are about to enter in. Warren Smith is the publisher of "The Charlotte World." He can be reached at warren.smith@thecharlotteworld.com

God luck children, your genetic material ain't the best. :headshake

QUOTE(Random @ Jun 1, 2006 -> 09:47 PM) what about retrieving the rally crede???? Done.

Gee, can kids be successful without pushy parents and becomming social nerds? Believe it or not but some kids enjoy intellectual challenges.

We can't protect every target. Who would have thought that the Federal Building in Oklahoma was a target? Are we erecting defense shields? Big cities already have plenty of police protection. New York has FBI out their butts, etc. It's the smaller communities that don't have the resources that really need the help. Possibly the results aren't as stupid as it sounds, althought the reasoning is dumb.

I have no problem with a business refusing service to any citizen or tourist. Put up a sign that says no Southern rednecks for all I care and I'll stay away. Stores and restaurants have dress codes. Of course, with his neighborhood attracting thousands of Mexicans, he could have made his restaurant spanish friendly and added business, but it doesn't say that every business owner should try and make more money. And how smart can he be, he can't figure out when someone is pointing to an item that they want it Now here's an interesting point, could a deaf person point and be served or is he just discriminating against spanish speaking?

QUOTE(YASNY @ Jun 2, 2006 -> 03:38 AM) This bill would totally nullify the will of the voters in the state. I can't believe anyone is endorsing this. Considering that California is almost always a guarenteed huge chunk of blue EC votes why aren't the Dems howling about this? Am I missing something here? Of course it couldn't possibly be Dems doing the right thing? Scary when you actually agree with California Democrats?

QUOTE(YASNY @ Jun 2, 2006 -> 02:01 AM) I knew you guys would jump to this douchebag's (Moore) defense. And of course the only thing you look at is Moore's politics. We have a system in this country that when you are wronged you can legally seek remedies. People buy and sell other people's intellectual property all the time. That is the law in America and I respect that. Even scumbags are protected. If George Gittoes wanted complete control over his documentary, he should have paid for it himself and owned the whole thing. But he didn't and the company that took the risk on a documentary about soldiers singing songs, allowed it to be used. And they proably even made a few dollars more than from the hippies that went to art houses to watch it the first time. Damon could have refused to appear, but signed a release and it gave ABC the rights to the interview. Lesson to all, don't appear on TV and you won't have that problem. We'll see how his case pans out. That's why we have a legal system.

Get a female, you'll be happier.

Anyone remembering what are current terror alert color is? I thought so.

June 1, 2006 The Top 5 Signs Your Local Terrorists Are Inept 5> They've drawn up an elaborate plan to bomb Wrigley Field during the World Series. 4> Flew a hang glider into a White Castle because they thought the king lived there. 3> Their demands include full recognition by the International House of Pancakes. 2> They were denied a permit for their Foolish Americans Take-No-Prisoners Death Parade because they couldn't sell enough al-Qaeda Scout cookies for the fee. and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your Local Terrorists Are Inept... 1> "We have Paris Hilton. Do exactly as we say or you'll never see her again."

QUOTE(EvilMonkey @ Jun 1, 2006 -> 09:35 PM) Tex, that link had nothing to do with the title. It had to do with Moore taking pieces from the others guys work and basiclly putting them in his piece without asking, or paying. As for the name, it is well known that Bradbury didn't like it, but since it can be considered a parody, it is fair game. Are we reading the same link? Moore got access, where does it say he didn't pay for it? This is probably similar to Michael Jackson having the rights to Beatles songs and licensing them for commercials. IIRC Paul was pissed, but it was legal.

QUOTE(Milkman delivers @ Jun 1, 2006 -> 09:34 PM) I fail to see how people are jumping off a bridge when they state the fact that a few of our relievers are f***ing horrendous. They are playing f***ing horrendous, but even Eck didn't save every game. I'm really not concerned, it's a long season and players are either peaking, getting top peaking, or slumping. Brace yourself but Dye will have a terrible week or two, as will Thome, and everyone else. It's the nature of sports.

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Jun 1, 2006 -> 09:22 PM) Ah cool. Its time for the annual jumping off a bridge thread. I luv drama queens [digs into popcorn bowl] It's a monthly jumping off the bridge thread. Passing out Tampax . . .

QUOTE(EvilMonkey @ Jun 1, 2006 -> 09:18 PM) This is what I was talking about, and while it isn't really 'music', the title of it is what stayed in my head. He still used it without permission, and didn't pay for it. http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/07/27/...l?from=storyrhs Similar to Lord of the Flies, Anal Attraction, Forrest Hump . . . of all the sins of the world, I can't get too worked up over this. I can't believe our society can't have two works with Fahrenheit in the title.

Most of y'all probably haven't noticed but off and on members have begged us to suspend their posting privileges so they could study for finals, finish work projects, etc. As a community service, I have compiled a soxtalk 12 step program so y'all can fix yourselves These are the twelve steps of Soxtalkers Anonymous. 1. We admitted we were powerless over posting—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Rally Crede as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to Rally Crede, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have Rally Crede remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we have flamed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Rally Crede, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to posters, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

10th in AS voting? Where Would He Play? He does deserve a lot more respect. Once the media jumps on the Dye is overlooked, he'll jump up the voting charts.

This is at worst the second best Sox team this century, and perhaps in my life. I'm not ready to give up on them. I'll take out position right now over just about every AL team. Can anyone honestly say the Indians are in better position? Twins? Would you rather be cheering Maggs and the Tigers? Enjoy June and July, start to worry a week or so after the AS break. Until then, Don't Worry, Be Happy

there isn't another team in baseball i would trade for. Here's a little song i wrote, you might want to sing it note for note, don't worry, be happy in every life we have some trouble, when you worry you make it double don't worry, be happy dont worry be happy now dont worry be happy dont worry be happy dont worry be happy dont worry be happy aint got no place to lay your head, somebody came and took your bed, don't worry, be happy the landlord say your rent is late, he may have to litagate, dont worry (small laugh) be happy, look at me im happy, don't worry, be happy i give you my phone number, when your worried, call me, i make you happy don't worry, be happy aint got no cash, aint got no style, aint got no gal to make you smile but don't worry, be happy cos when you worry, your face will frown, and that will bring everybody down, so don't worry, be happy don't worry, be happy now... don't worry, be happy don't worry, be happy don't worry, be happy don't worry, be happy now there this song i wrote i hope you you learned it note for note like good little children dont worry be happy listen to what i say in your life expect some trouble when you worry you make it double dont worry be happy be happy now dont worry, be happy dont worry, be happy dont worry, be happy dont worry, be happy dont worry dont worry be happy don't worry, don't worry, don't do it, be happy,put a smile on your face, don't bring everybody down like this don't worry, it will soon pass whatever it is, don't worry, be happy, i'm not worried

QUOTE(jphat007 @ Jun 1, 2006 -> 08:52 PM) Yah, who the hell puts a starting prospect in the bullpen!!!! Nobody does that s***!!!! Buerhle, Cotts, Smoltz, Eck . . .

God, I hope Ozzie still brings ten of these guys to the all-star game