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ELOY SENDING BASEBALLS HOME TO HEAVEN

Bring in Cicotte.

I love that Papi is raving about the addition of Rizzo and what he adds chemistry and then they just go "Rizzo is out due to COVID."

"Goodbye Mom!"

Doesn't match the olde-timey vibe. I want him interviewed via telegram, with newspaper photos of him spinning onto the game screen randomly like this:

He either really likes chicken or really likes spinach

As they announce the lineups, I want Al Michaels to walk out of center field.

They really like Sox outfielders named Luis.

I would like Frank Thomas to try and recreate all of James Earl Jones' roles now.

Who the hell thought a commercial built around Hawk being disappointed would be a good idea?

Condolences to Tony's family.

I'd give him a medium sized deal with sizable bonuses.

MLB heard La Russa say that and immediately scrambled the fighter jets.

Shows off a lot of versatility in this video. Love to see it. Also, he looks huge.

I'm assuming that in a scenario where Hamilton-Robert-Engel is your OF, Eloy is moved to DH and Vaughn is your odd man out.

...did you not notice them just trade for a $16M closer to the be the setup man to their $14M closer? "Spend the money" isn't a meme anymore.

Imagine going up against the Sox in late innings when the have this OF, the bullpen, and then having to face a lineup featuring Eloy (at DH), Abreu, Grandal, Robert, Hernandez, Moncada, and Anderson.

The only free agent that played this worse was Schroeder.

For real. Eloy alone has injected new life into the lineup. Now add Robert and Grandal.

But did you play catch and fight about long hair

Facing less White Sox pitching, clearly.

This is Master Splinter slander.

Compare Eloy (lots of power), Abreu (soul of the team), Robert (covers lots of space in the outfield), Anderson (trying to change the reality of baseball), Liam (has an insane mind), and Giolito (switches up pitch speeds like time) with the infinity stones.

Moncada had this last week. I love the respect they've got for Abreu.