What are your goals? If youre looking for a long term commitment it may not be the place to start. If its just for fun, then it is really up to you.

I feel you guys are cool with me so i decided to post this and ask advice. I met a guy on a phone app and we talked for a week and met for Starbucks on Saturday. He is 23 and me 37. 14 year difference.

 

We were there for almost three hours talking. I knew going in he has a boyfriend and that he just wanted to be friends. But half the time he was b****ing about his man. I even asked him if he told his boyfriend he was meeting me? He said NO.

 

I got his number and a hug at the end of the night and now he wants to go to dinner and hit the clubs. Not sure if he is looking to dump his man or what?

 

He even talked about coming over to my house some time. I am torn!

 

For my two cents, anyone who is willing to cheat to be with you, will be willing to cheat on you. Bad news.

What are your goals? If youre looking for a long term commitment it may not be the place to start. If its just for fun, then it is really up to you.

 

I had a boyfriend from 1998-2009. Ready to get back in the game.

Exactly. And lets be real and cut right to the core. With the 14 year age gap, there is a good chance a long-term relationship isn't in the future. It sounds like something a little more fun.

 

If you're cool with that, I would see where it goes. But getting heavily involved will probably end badly. Just playing the odds.

 

I will see what happens after a few more times with him. I know i am too old for him. Looks like a fling.

For my two cents, anyone who is willing to cheat to be with you, will be willing to cheat on you. Bad news.

Agreed.

It comes down to your principles. Working in the service industry, and that is certainly a very specific segment of gay people, it definitely seems like monogamy is less common in same sex relationships. It comes down to the principles you hold yourself to. Are you looking for a hook up or a relationship? Is this guy's boyfriend aware he is meeting with you?

 

I have had my share of hookups. Gets old. And yes you are right. Monogamy is not common that much. Most of my friends with partners have a open relationship. No, he did not tell his boyfriend we were meeting.

He just texted me about something. Don't know if you guys want to hear it. it is not that bad but still.

I was trying to figure out if you were a male or female...because I agree with Rabbit...it seems like gay men are mean as all hell to one another. They cheat like crazy on one another!

 

Let me ask you this...do you find the guy super attractive, or just sort of cute?

Edited February 9, 201610 yr by iamshack

I don't know if I would describe them as mean as hell. They just have relationships that aren't constrained or formulated around religious principles from thousands of years ago. They also don't have the state (in most states) forming a racket to bleed them out financially to create an industry.

Well, I am obviously stereotyping a bit...and maybe it's just because there are two men in the equation , but most gay men I've talked to have admitted how ruthless some of them can be towards one another.

I was trying to figure out if you were a male or female...because I agree with Rabbit...it seems like gay men are mean as all hell to one another. They cheat like crazy on one another!

 

Let me ask you this...do you find the guy super attractive, or just sort of cute?

 

Super attractive. He wants to be a model.

Well, I am obviously stereotyping a bit...and maybe it's just because there are two men in the equation , but most gay men I've talked to have admitted how ruthless some of them can be towards one another.

Trust me. Gay guys are brutal to each other. If you're over 30 without a six pack they can be very mean. Gay life is full of partying, drinking, lots of drugs, and sex. I have many great gay friends don't get me wrong.

Super attractive. He wants to be a model.

And you're cool with just being his fling?

And you're cool with just being his fling?

The boyfriend thing bugs me. If he was single I'd do the fling.

I get you, I just think the conceptions of relationships, even if so far removed from the inception of religion, are all based on religious stuff that is engrained in humans by now. If it was socially acceptable and it wouldn't hurt her I would be cheating on my girlfriend all time. I don't for her sake and the reflection it would have on me as a person. Religion makes that reflection negative.

 

Interesting take. I view the same thing as being an efficient biological process which aided evolution. Having a male around to help protect the children seems efficient and allows the human species to increase numbers over other life forms at the time. These human groups predate religion as we know it.

 

 

I get you, I just think the conceptions of relationships, even if so far removed from the inception of religion, are all based on religious stuff that is engrained in humans by now. If it was socially acceptable and it wouldn't hurt her I would be cheating on my girlfriend all time. I don't for her sake and the reflection it would have on me as a person. Religion makes that reflection negative.

 

People favoring trustworthy individuals is not based on religion.

I get you, I just think the conceptions of relationships, even if so far removed from the inception of religion, are all based on religious stuff that is engrained in humans by now. If it was socially acceptable and it wouldn't hurt her I would be cheating on my girlfriend all time. I don't for her sake and the reflection it would have on me as a person. Religion makes that reflection negative.

Faithfulness is not fully based upon religion. Faithfulness is based upon your personal value of the other individual. If you love, care for and respect them, then you stay monogamous.

 

We humans, even though we are (arguably) based in simian ancestry, would like to believe that we have evolved into a higher status than the other animals.

People favoring trustworthy individuals is not based on religion.

Having compassion for someone you care about has literally nothing to do with religion. Some people care about others and will respect and love that person. Some simply only care about themselves.

This keeps getting more interesting by the second. This guy is wants to be a model and offered to come to my house to do a underwear show. Oh my.

If I was married for 10 years and my wife just stopped wanting to have sex with me am I just supposed to never have sex again?

 

No, anybody who tells you otherwise has a pretty twisted view of marriage. I would say the right thing to do though is get a divorce first before finding somebody else.

Monogamy is a part of every "major" religion unless it's a polygamist deal. Not really any gray area there. I am not a cheater but I think it's disengenuous to immediately write off every one who "cheats" as a selfish person.

 

Plenty of people don't practice monogamy and aren't cheaters. Cheating involves giving your partner the impression that you're being monogamous, and then not doing it. It's a lie, and a betrayal.

 

If I was married for 10 years and my wife just stopped wanting to have sex with me am I just supposed to never have sex again?

 

That, or attempt to make it an open marriage, or get a divorce.

I think even if my wife loved me and cared for me, if she didnt have the sex drive at all and wasnt interested in me anymore that would destroy our marriage. I wouldnt want an open marriage because I would carry that guilt with me, I would rather end the marriage. Thats just my opinion though

But what if the couple loved and cared for each other and one just didn't have a sex drive? They both have to abstain because of a contract with the state?

 

Nevermind the moral aspect, I just don't see being married to one woman and getting sex from one or more others ever working out well for anybody. There might be some extremely rare cases where that can work.

Monogamy is a part of every "major" religion unless it's a polygamist deal. Not really any gray area there. I am not a cheater but I think it's disengenuous to immediately write off every one who "cheats" as a selfish person.

 

If I was married for 10 years and my wife just stopped wanting to have sex with me am I just supposed to never have sex again?

Marriage is part of religion. There are animals that are monogamous so it's not brought on by the incorporation of some sort of religion. There are many other things you can do to facilitate sex without cheating on someone you decided to marry.

Trust me. Gay guys are brutal to each other. If you're over 30 without a six pack they can be very mean. Gay life is full of partying, drinking, lots of drugs, and sex. I have many great gay friends don't get me wrong.

Interesting to be educated on this. Do you find that gay people tend to be only about sex way more than a man/woman thing? As somebody with no clue on this subject I would 'think' that in gay relationships it's WAY MORE about hopping into bed ASAP, like I mean cut the date short and hit the covers. Am I right? Sorry if this offends. I'll stop if it's a bad subject.

Interesting to be educated on this. Do you find that gay people tend to be only about sex way more than a man/woman thing? As somebody with no clue on this subject I would 'think' that in gay relationships it's WAY MORE about hopping into bed ASAP, like I mean cut the date short and hit the covers. Am I right? Sorry if this offends. I'll stop if it's a bad subject.

 

You can ask away. No worries. In gay life its all about how many people you sleep with. I have friends that have been with over 400 people.

 

Most first dates end up in bed. I have a lot of friends that are in their late 20's mid 30's scared to death of losing their looks so they do Botox.

 

Anymore questions feel free to PM me. I am sort of an expert on gay life being around it for over 20 years lol.

Edited February 9, 201610 yr by whitesoxjr27