Relationship Advice Thread

[CrimsonWeltall]

I don't know why you'd assume that. Some people get pissed off when a professional (psychiatrist) obviously is not doing his/her job, not even retaining any information from a first meeting.

 

Sure, you do. Your friend is extremely dishonest, and he hasn't gone to a new psychiatrist.

[Kyyle23]

You see things as cut and dried sometimes. Just because this guy is doing this one lousy thing may not mean he's "s***ty people." Not everything is cut and dried in this world. How come you guys won't believe me when I say he's a good dad to the 2 kids and doesn't ever get violent or anything. Basically he's a good provider/good person who does this heinous thing. I wouldn't cheat but some people do.

 

 

She caught him once. It's probably inevitable she catches him again. For me to turn him in, that seems pretty wrong.

 

 

I rarely hang out with him. I haven't cut all ties with him because of his cheating.

 

 

I don't know why you'd assume that. Some people get pissed off when a professional (psychiatrist) obviously is not doing his/her job, not even retaining any information from a first meeting.

 

 

Obviously the wife likes him enough to stay after the first cheating incident was uncovered. It's very sad he's cheating. I told him I thought he should get help and he told me the psychiatrist story. I told him he might consider just going cold turkey on the cheating and just turn over a new leaf the rest of his life, in his world telling him he had a good run with multiple women, now it's time to put that all in his past.

I don't see why I should tell the wife anything. I mean the guy might even kill me or something if I did that. Stranger things have happened. I don't know why you all would suggest I have to tell her. She already knows he did it once.

This guy claims he's a sex addict. He claims he needs the attention of the multiple women. He did say he's much older than the current woman he's cheating with and whenever he leaves her in a restaurant or anywhere he comes back and some guy is hitting on her. In this day and age of people unwilling to get involved I think my behavior in this case is about a 5.5 out of 10 in the advice I've given him, not a 1 or 2 as some of you suggest.

 

For a guy who loves citing the downfall of modern civilization because of the lack of religion, you sure don't mind overlooking multiple commandments when it suits your narrative

[Whitewashed in '05]

I'm not siding with Greg, but is it really his job to tell the guys wife or cut all ties to him? I mean, that's none of his business in all honesty. Especially if he's already expressed to the guy he thinks he should stop. As long as he isn't encouraging it that's none of his business. He's not the one committing th act.

[BlackSox13]

Good grief the dramas people put their self through. Whatever happened to living happily ever after? I don't understand how a person can be married and want to cheat with other people. To me, it takes the love out of " I love you". That's not love, its convenience for the male ego. Greg's friend wants the security of the having a wife to come home to every night and yet live the bachelor life on the side. Simple as that.

 

Greg, you are in a tough spot or should I say your friend has put you in a tough spot. In all honesty I would have a difficult time referring to someone like that as a " friend " and I would distance myself from that person and situation. Your friend and his wife are grown adults and its their responsibility to sort out their problems and IMHO, by no means are you obligated to say anything since she already knows her husband has cheated and yet she stayed with him.

 

Just my .02¢.

 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go give my wife a hug, kiss and tell I love her because I'm damn lucky to be a part of her life.

 

 

[caulfield12]

Look at it the other way, I guess...

 

How important is this friend? Let's say your male friend knew your wife was cheating on you...would you not want him to tell you?

 

Should men be more loyal to "protect" other men or is it simply the fact you're closest or closer to the man?

 

Then ask yourself if you would still keep it a secret if the married woman/wife was 25-30, looked like a Victoria's Secret model but the Kansan next door version AND she was likely to be driven into your arms if she knew he'd cheated a second time and was likely to decide to throw in the towel on her relationship?

 

It's easier to defend the man (the whole she's getting older, her body changed after kids....no longer passion or chemistry in marriage excuse) but if the shoe was on the other foot and she was cheating on you with a younger, richer, more attractive man....why does society have the perception that's even worse somehow?

[greg775]

For a guy who loves citing the downfall of modern civilization because of the lack of religion, you sure don't mind overlooking multiple commandments when it suits your narrative

I agree with Whitewashed's backing me on this matter. ... What am I supposed to do? Bring him a Bible? It's not me doing it. Should I punch him and tell him to knock off his behavior? Whitewashed seems to get it.

[Kyyle23]

I agree with Whitewashed's backing me on this matter. ... What am I supposed to do? Bring him a Bible? It's not me doing it. Should I punch him and tell him to knock off his behavior? Whitewashed seems to get it.

 

Ask yourself what you would want if you were in his wife's shoes. Multiple people have asked you that and you refuse to answer

[Palehosefan]

Had to join this conversation, it was blowing me away.

 

1. Greg, why in the WORLD would you be friends with this guy? He's doing terrible things to his wife and kids, and using you as an excuse for this garbage. You need to cut ties with this crap as soon as possible. The wife knows what's going on, the husband knows what's going on, so the kids know something is wrong whether the parents want to see it or not. Tensions are undoubtedly building with the wife, and it has a great chance of blowing up in an emotional, traumatic experience for the kids. Do the kids, wife, and yourself a favor, and cut ties. Tell your friend that as long as he's doing stupid s***, and hurting his family, you won't support that.

 

2. I get the feeling that Greg is a social experiment based on trolling message boards.

[greg775]

Ask yourself what you would want if you were in his wife's shoes. Multiple people have asked you that and you refuse to answer

I'd never be in the wife's shoes cause that would mean I caught my partner cheating and I would leave her for that for positive. Remember she caught him once red handed.

 

Had to join this conversation, it was blowing me away.

 

1. Greg, why in the WORLD would you be friends with this guy? He's doing terrible things to his wife and kids, and using you as an excuse for this garbage. You need to cut ties with this crap as soon as possible. The wife knows what's going on, the husband knows what's going on, so the kids know something is wrong whether the parents want to see it or not. Tensions are undoubtedly building with the wife, and it has a great chance of blowing up in an emotional, traumatic experience for the kids. Do the kids, wife, and yourself a favor, and cut ties. Tell your friend that as long as he's doing stupid s***, and hurting his family, you won't support that.

 

2. I get the feeling that Greg is a social experiment based on trolling message boards.

 

1.) He's doing one terrible thing, that is cheating. he treats her very well otherwise and is a great papa to his kids. As far as your last sentence I told him I recommend he see a psychiatrist and he did and now won't go anymore cause the guy was lousy. Then I recommended he stop cheating altogether. the only thing I haven't done is cut ties with him. I don't feel like I should boot a friend completely over this issue. Like whitewashed said, I've made my feelings known and am not condoning this stuff. Do I have to completely not be friends with the guy anymore? I think that's kind of drastic.

2.) I don't know why I'm a troll just because a.) I have differing opinions from most of you and b.) I'm honest.

Edited December 13, 2015 by greg775

[ChiSox_Sonix]

2. I get the feeling that Greg is a social experiment based on trolling message boards.

 

Are you saying that Greg might actually be Ken M?

[nickofypres]

Hey, guys, its me again.

 

So, I have a new GF who just got out of a relationship but she wants to keep things slow. Which is fine, I don't really have a whole lot of experience in the dating scene. I guess I am wondering about what not to do too early to make sure I don't overstep any boundaries.

 

Thanks.

[Brian]

Hey, guys, its me again.

 

So, I have a new GF who just got out of a relationship but she wants to keep things slow. Which is fine, I don't really have a whole lot of experience in the dating scene. I guess I am wondering about what not to do too early to make sure I don't overstep any boundaries.

 

Thanks.

 

Anal.

[BlackSox13]

Hey, guys, its me again.

 

So, I have a new GF who just got out of a relationship but she wants to keep things slow. Which is fine, I don't really have a whole lot of experience in the dating scene. I guess I am wondering about what not to do too early to make sure I don't overstep any boundaries.

 

Thanks.

Since she's the one that wants to take it slow, follow her lead. Last thing you want to do is be pushy with a woman that just got out of a relationship. Also, be sure the previous relationship is "over".

 

Anal.

My man, that's what I'm talking about!

 

Don't be a quitter, hitter in the ...

[ron883]

Hey, guys, its me again.

 

So, I have a new GF who just got out of a relationship but she wants to keep things slow. Which is fine, I don't really have a whole lot of experience in the dating scene. I guess I am wondering about what not to do too early to make sure I don't overstep any boundaries.

 

Thanks.

Imo, you probably look like a p**** compared to her ex if you are just waiting. Go get some drinks and f*** her brains out

[greg775]

Update on my friend who cheats with the hot chick while he and wife remain a couple while raising two kids.

 

He's thinking about moving so the mistress will lose interest in him. She's way younger than him and is starting to complain about him spending time with his wife. She's starting to get more aggressive in wanting to spend more time with him. He'd move the family to another state because he has the type of job where the company has various cities available for employees.

 

One thing I think is crazy. If I were in his wife's shoes, I'd demand to look at his phone more often. In this day and age, a cheater is going to have so many text messages. There's no way you can have a secret romance without a lot of texting. If my wife cheated once I'd demand the right to grab my wife's phone at any time and look for texts from lovers.

Edited February 7, 2016 by greg775

[Brian]

Moving to get away from his mistress sounds so stupid. Just get a restraining order, or stop nailing her. He sounds as dumb as he did before.

[knightni]

Moving to get away from his mistress sounds so stupid. Just get a restraining order, or stop nailing her. He sounds as dumb as he did before.

A restraining order would require a paper trail and an admission of guilt.

[Brian]

A restraining order would require a paper trail and an admission of guilt.

 

I thought he said the wife knows and doesnt care before.

[BlackSox13]

So which show is this on, Springer, Maury or is it some new rehashed reality show?

[greg775]

I thought he said the wife knows and doesnt care before.

No, the wife caught him before and was deeply hurt, but stayed married. He said it was a one time thing and wouldn't do it again. The wife is very nice and a mother of 2 so cool little ones. The guy just is an admitted sex addict and had the one bad experience with the psychiatrist and won't go back.

[RockRaines]

No, the wife caught him before and was deeply hurt, but stayed married. He said it was a one time thing and wouldn't do it again. The wife is very nice and a mother of 2 so cool little ones. The guy just is an admitted sex addict and had the one bad experience with the psychiatrist and won't go back.

This guy is a selfish piece of s***. I wouldnt even be friends with a guy like that.

[whitesoxjr27]

I feel you guys are cool with me so i decided to post this and ask advice. I met a guy on a phone app and we talked for a week and met for Starbucks on Saturday. He is 23 and me 37. 14 year difference.

 

We were there for almost three hours talking. I knew going in he has a boyfriend and that he just wanted to be friends. But half the time he was b****ing about his man. I even asked him if he told his boyfriend he was meeting me? He said NO.

 

I got his number and a hug at the end of the night and now he wants to go to dinner and hit the clubs. Not sure if he is looking to dump his man or what?

 

He even talked about coming over to my house some time. I am torn!

[Chisoxfn]

I feel you guys are cool with me so i decided to post this and ask advice. I met a guy on a phone app and we talked for a week and met for Starbucks on Saturday. He is 23 and me 37. 14 year difference.

 

We were there for almost three hours talking. I knew going in he has a boyfriend and that he just wanted to be friends. But half the time he was b****ing about his man. I even asked him if he told his boyfriend he was meeting me? He said NO.

 

I got his number and a hug at the end of the night and now he wants to go to dinner and hit the clubs. Not sure if he is looking to dump his man or what?

 

He even talked about coming over to my house some time. I am torn!

Personally, I'm leery of anyone who isn't honest with their partner. If he's going to lie to his current partner, why wouldn't he lie to you? Now if you are okay with that and are looking for something not so serious, than fine, but I personally think little for someone who is with someone starting to see or even look into other people while they are still together. If they want to go down that path, than they need to break up.

 

My immediate gut reaction is this is someone looking to play the field.

[whitesoxjr27]

Personally, I'm leery of anyone who isn't honest with their partner. If he's going to lie to his current partner, why wouldn't he lie to you? Now if you are okay with that and are looking for something not so serious, than fine, but I personally think little for someone who is with someone starting to see or even look into other people while they are still together. If they want to go down that path, than they need to break up.

 

My immediate gut reaction is this is someone looking to play the field.

 

I think you are correct. He keeps saying no its just friends but wanting to come over to my house? And why even be on a phone app if you have someone?

 

And kind of like the attention of someone so much younger paying attention to me.

Edited February 8, 2016 by whitesoxjr27

[BlackSox13]

Personally, I'm leery of anyone who isn't honest with their partner. If he's going to lie to his current partner, why wouldn't he lie to you? Now if you are okay with that and are looking for something not so serious, than fine, but I personally think little for someone who is with someone starting to see or even look into other people while they are still together. If they want to go down that path, than they need to break up.

 

My immediate gut reaction is this is someone looking to play the field.

Agree with everything you say and I'd like to add its possible this guy is looking for his current boyfriend's replacement before he lets the guy go. Some people fear being alone so they tough it out with a partner until they find a new one. It's a cruel way to go about things but it seems to be somewhat common unfortunately.