juddling

I kicked Bono in the nuts i don't care if she is innocent or guilty she gets my props.......

Inmate Uses Laxatives, Knife to Escape By Associated Press October 21, 2006, 7:56 AM EDT SYDNEY, Australia -- An inmate who used laxatives to shed 31 pounds so he could squeeze through a hole in a prison wall had been frustrated by the indefinite sentence he was serving, a judge said. Robert Cole, 37, spent three days on the run from police in January after slipping his 123-pound frame through a 6-inch wide hole he had chiseled with a butter knife in the window frame of a hospital wing at Sydney's Long Bay Jail. Cole, who had been hospitalized for psychiatric treatment, spent three weeks scraping the brickwork near the window bars to widen the space, District Court Judge Roger Dive said Friday. Dive sentenced Cole to two years and two months' imprisonment after he pleaded guilty to a charge of escape. The sentence was backdated to his recapture on Jan. 21. When he escaped, Cole had been serving an indefinite sentence in the prison hospital after a jury found him not guilty of armed robbery in 2003 on the grounds of mental illness. Dive said he accepted that Cole was "very frustrated" at the time of his escape, as "he did not have a definite date of release and no apparent treatment plan."

i think Michael Hutchence and INXS would still be HUGE if he didn't die when he did.

QUOTE(NUKE_CLEVELAND @ Oct 21, 2006 -> 04:44 AM) Nope, he didn't wrestle the Soviet Bear himself, as there were a lot of great people who helped out. BUT! Reagan set everything in motion. Reagan initiated the arms race that bankrupted the Soviet Union. Reagan broke OPEC which tanked the price of oil, depriving the Soviets of much needed hard currency. But don't take my word for it. Just ask Lech Walesa. http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/fe...ml?id=110005204 Pretty powerful stuff if you ask me. Come on Nuke...be real....everyone knows that if Lech was around nowdays he'd be a reported on Fox News schlubbing the Republican agenda. How much credibility could he have????

QUOTE(jackie hayes @ Oct 21, 2006 -> 01:54 AM) Dude, what do you do with your time??? What??? you don't think Google got it's money's worth or something??? lol

well...at least it's not like Kennedy killed anyone or anything.....oh wait.....never mind!

mousetrap

QUOTE(Balta1701 @ Oct 19, 2006 -> 05:02 PM) And of course, actually um, being able to lobby for and vote for legislation that puts a highway exit ramp right by that land and therefore massively increases the value is clearly not nearly as bad as dealing with a local zoning commission over which Reid has zero control. As far as i'm aware of....the state has approached the local communities and said that if they want an off ramp they need to come up with a few million to help pay for it. I'm in Lockport and 355(as well as any proposed off ramp) would be less than 2 miles from my house, and the city is taking polls around town as to whether we should pay or not. I don't think Denny can just call up someone and say "Hey....let's put a ramp here", because whatever city he's in is going to have to pay for it. (I know he's from Plano but not didn't know he had land out my way. Anyone know where?)

QUOTE(jackie hayes @ Oct 14, 2006 -> 10:31 PM) Another possibility is that Piniella was pissed at the comments and Fox decided they'd rather burn their bridges with Lyons than with Piniella. Pure speculation, of course. According to this article....i don't think Lou was pissed at all........ Piniella Says Lyons Was Just Kidding LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Fired Fox announcer Steve Lyons got backing on two fronts Tuesday: He can keep his part-time broadcasting job with the Los Angeles Dodgers if he completes diversity training, and Lou Piniella came to his defense. Lyons was fired over the weekend for making a racially insensitive comment while on the air with Piniella during the AL championship series. "There isn't a racist bone in his body. Not one," Piniella said after being introduced as manager of the Chicago Cubs. "I've known the guy personally. He was kidding with me, nothing more and nothing less." Piniella called Lyons' firing "an unfortunate thing." Lyons was dismissed after Friday's Game 3 of the ALCS between Oakland and Detroit. The Dodgers said Lyons would remain on the job for FSN Prime Ticket "upon the completion of diversity training and under probationary guidelines." Lyons works with Charley Steiner on the 40-plus road games that Vin Scully doesn't do. Piniella made an analogy during Friday's broadcast involving the luck of finding a wallet, then briefly used a couple of Spanish phrases. Lyons said that Piniella was "hablaing" in "Espanol" - butchering the conjugation for the word "to speak" - and added, "I still can't find my wallet." Lyons claimed he was kidding, and Piniella accepted that explanation. "If I offended anybody, I'm truly sorry," Lyons said. "But my comment about Lou taking my wallet was a joke and in no way racially motivated." The 46-year-old Lyons was a career .252 hitter with 19 home runs and 196 RBIs for Boston, the Chicago White Sox, Atlanta and Montreal. I think Lyons got shafted for whatever reason.

Language can be bad but man is it funny...... FU John Madden My favorite part..... My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

Last year a friend of mine went as Bacardi and Cola. We might do it again

...gee..nice to see things are getting back to normal down there.

looks like they are going to try again...... Details Emerge On Nova M, New Liberal Net Oct. 18, 2006 By Katy Bachman, Mediaweek More details are coming to light on Nova M, the liberal talk network formed earlier this year by Air America Radio co-founders Anita and Sheldon Drobny. Based in Phoenix, the new network will debut Oct. 30 on KPHX/Phoenix, a former Air America station that went dark in March under new ownership. As previously reported, the network has also entered into a lease management agreement with KDXE/Little Rock. Mike Malloy, a former member of the Air America team, will host a show from 9 p.m. to Midnight ET. Also airing on the network will be Dr. Mike Newcomb — a former gubernatorial candidate and physician, who also serves as Nova M's CEO — from 9 a.m. to Noon ET, and Peter B. Collins, a San Francisco Talk personality, who will air 6 to 9 p.m. ET. Also joining Nova M is pollster John Zogby, president and CEO of Zogby International, who will also host a show on the network called “The Pulse of the Nation.” Joe Trippi, best known as the brains behind Howard Dean’s Web site that helped raise more than $40 million for the former presidential candidate, will serve as media and communication consultant to the network.

...well, if he decides to run...they can always get Tommy Lee Jones to chase him down

At least one site is trying to take a stand....... pokerstars

There are WAY too many jokes to use for this story....please feel free to use your own... Tom Cruise = butt plug...lol

QUOTE(witesoxfan @ Oct 12, 2006 -> 08:20 PM) it is goooooood living in South Dakota Add that to the list of phrases that I never thought I'd hear!!

Book: Dream Park by Larry David and David Niven Album: The Police Greatest Hits Movie : Either Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Escape from New York Series : BBC's Coupling (or Mile High) Person: Eliza Dushku (2nd choice-- Elizabeth Hurley) Please come true

i guess that Buehrle for A. Rod trade is looking a bit better to the Yank-me's right about now

Wal-Mart sued over dive sticks By: Dave BohmanSt. Petersburg, Florida - Lawyers representing a Bay area child are in a St. Petersburg courthouse…..taking on corporate giant Wal-Mart, and a product supplier seeking millions in damages. The case centers around swimming pool toys known as dive sticks, supplied to Wal-Mart in the 1990's by a Clearwater based Florida Pool. When Marcus Zunner was just three, he was hospitalized with a severe accident from a divestick. Kimberly Zunner, Marcus' Mother: “He slid into the pool on the slide and he landed on it and it went into his rectum.” Justin Johnson, Marcus' Attorney: “He suffered a rectal impalement of about an inch and a half. And he had open abdominal surgery, with a cholostomy.” WalMart and Florida Pool, are expected to argue the dive sticks were safe, but that that the family misused them, by allowing the child to jump on the sticks in a shallow, inflatable kiddie pool. The stick's are weighted to stand perpendicular to the bottom of the pool, and when they are three to seven feet underwater, kids often dive after them in order. But in shallow water, they may stand just inches below the surface which was apparently what happened when Marcus jumped in. In 1999, the Consumer Product Safety Commission ordered Florida Pool to recall 9,000,000 dive sticks. The company responded in a news release. Florida Pool, 1999 news release: "Dive sticks are fun and enjoyable when used properly but are not to be used in shallow water." That recall came after six known injuries were reported to the CPSC, and one year before Marcus' Zunner was hurt landing on a dive stick. Justin Johnson, Marcus Zummer's Attorney: “It subsequently was banned as a hazardous product.” Those close to Marcus worry he will need a lifetime of medical care and multiple surgeries as a result of the dive stick accident at a young age. Marcus Zunner is now nine, and according to his lawyer, is doing as well as can be expected. His lawyer says Marcus will be here at points during the trial, but is not expected to testify -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There are a couple of jokes i could use here but i'll refrain for now.....

Greatest video ever....... Price is Right compliation

i wish this one was true....... CHICAGO—With the regular season winding down and the White Sox seven games out of first place, a sweating, visibly shaking Bud Selig entered Ozzie Guillen's office Monday to tell the notoriously proud, hot-tempered manager that his team had been eliminated from playoff contention. "Excuse me, Ozzie, or Mr. Guillen, whichever you prefer… Well, Mr. Guillen, sir, I'm afraid I need to tell you something, and well, it's about the whole October thing and the Twins and the Tigers and the playoffs start soon and…" the commissioner reportedly said before leaning on Guillen's desk and accidentally knocking over a picture frame and a can full of pencils. "The whole league, I just want you to know, we were all really pulling for you, really all year, just thought you were doing a tremendous job, and, well… Okay, well, I'm going to leave now. See you in… April, then?" Selig later announced that, due to a miscommunication, the White Sox would be facing the Yankees in the first round of the playoffs, and promised that he "will definitely make it up to the Tigers next year." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hungry Bears Defense Feeds On Soldier Field Crowd CHICAGO—The league-leading Chicago Bears defense, which overpowered and dominated the Seattle Seahawks last Sunday en route to a 37-6 victory, took time after the game to emphasize that they would not have had the extra energy needed to hold the Seattle offense to a mere two field goals if it weren't for the mass cannibalization of nearly 60,000 of their hometown fans. "Without a doubt, these are the best fans in the world," said Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher, who said that without the rush he received from the supportive, nutrient-rich Bears fans he devoured during the game, he would not have had the strength to make seven tackles during the game, five of which were unassisted. "They gave us what we needed to play hard all four quarters, and this win is definitely for them," continued Urlacher, pointing to a section of empty, blood-stained seats that still housed the uneaten portions of dozens of loyal fans. "Mmmm," Urlacher added. "When I hear that crowd screaming, it just makes me hungrier and hungrier," said Bears nickelback Ricky Manning Jr., who had four tackles against the Seahawks, and credits the 19 beta-keratin-rich fans he ate for his ability to see Matt Hasslebeck's eyes, aiding him in making two key interceptions. "Many people say that your crowd doesn't make a difference, but in well-fed, nutrient-rich Chicago, that certainly isn't the case." "They're simply the best," Manning added, licking his blood-encrusted teeth, the remnants of a gnarled human index finger still wedged in the gap of his two incisors. Bears fans are renowned as some of the largest, most well-rounded, vitamin-laden fans throughout the National Football League. Although the NFL does not keep statistics on the nutrition content of its crowds, conventional wisdom holds that the amount of protein in the Soldier Field crowd, thought to be double the league average, has allowed Bears defenses throughout history to quickly build and repair stressed muscle tissue during grueling 16-game seasons. "There is no question that they keep us going down the stretch," said 300-pound defensive tackle Tank Johnson, who says he gets a rush of energy from the women and children in attendance when he chews open their stomachs to consume any leftover carbohydrates stored in their digestive systems and the belly fat of their abdominal cavities before gulping down their cheeks and the flesh around their eye sockets, which he says gives him the necessary supplement of the L-cysteine amino acid. "The sacrifice these fans make, especially the ones who travel to the away games… It just hits you right in the gut." ""I've heard from guys who play in Miami, Tampa Bay, and Minnesota, and they all complain that their fans just aren't as good as ours," added Johnson with a slight belch brought on by the high fat content of a fan who used to sit right behind the goalpost. 302-pound defensive lineman Ian Scott agreed with his teammates, saying that there is just something different about the heart of a Bears fan that is different from that of any other in the league. "It isn't just their heart—it's their nutrient-rich kidneys and livers, too, that make them such an integral part of the game," said Scott, who along with safety Mike Brown, linebacker Lance Briggs, and cornerback Charles Tillman, tends to enjoy the fleshy calf and thigh muscles first while coating their exposed skin with the excess fat adhering to fans' bones in order to keep themselves warm during brutal Chicago winters. "I don't know how many times opposing quarterbacks have been unnerved by our unique relationship with the good, tender, juicy people of Chicago, and have thrown an interception or fumbled a snap because of it." "I can't imagine eating any other fans, and I hope I never have to," Scott added. With the Bears jumping quickly out of the gate with a 4-0 record, many in Chicago are talking Super Bowl, and though head coach Lovie Smith said he plans to take it one game at a time, he knows the benefit of having a home-crowd presence on the world's grandest stage. "Hopefully we can pack the stadium in Miami with Bears fans," Smith said. "It'd be great to have their unique Soldier Field flavor with us to help get us through the big one without a hiccup." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OAKLAND, CA—After two seasons marked by nagging injuries and sub-par home-run totals, Frank Thomas credited his career rejuvenation and rediscovered power stroke "strictly to my weekly cycle of injecting myself with anabolic steroids." "People ask me all the time what's my secret, how have I stayed in such good shape and been so consistent this season, and I tell them the same thing every time: It's the steroids," said Thomas, who has 19 homers and a league-high 62 RBI since the All-Star break. "I give the steroids all the credit. It's not even just the muscle and the power, but the confidence I have when I step up to the plate knowing I have a total competitive advantage. I just wish I knew about this miracle drug earlier in my career." MLB officials later announced that, should Thomas test positive for steroid use in a random drug test before season's end, his punishment would be significantly reduced for being open and honest about it beforehand

Spotted dick??? i hear they have a cream for that!!!

I'm digging Studio 60 and Heroes on NBC.....Nip/Tuck has me intrigued so far this early season.

QUOTE(StrangeSox @ Oct 4, 2006 -> 02:37 AM) That's so damn annoying. You signal to get over, so the jackass in the next lane speeds up to keep even with you. What's wrong with people and the "oh no, you're not getting in front of me!" mentality? I only do that if the jackass decides to wait till the last minute to merge onto an on ramp or when they shoot up the lane that is closed only to try to merge at the last second. sorry pal....i waited in line.....you can wait in line.