Middle Buffalo

QUOTE(kyyle23 @ Dec 21, 2005 -> 06:41 AM) Can anyone tell me what playoff system is employed on your fantasy football league? I have a malcontent on my league who is going crazy because I had an 8 team playoff with no 1st week bye. He was the number one seed and lost to the 8 seed, and the guy is blowing a gasket calling the league unprofessional and such because it doesnt mimic the NFL close enough. Now keep in mind that this is a league that I paid for(60 bucks) and there is no entry fee, so there is no pot. Yet, we had a little mini-bet in the league through the year on rookie contributions, and the same guy won the only monetary award that my league had to offer, which was best buy certificates that i paid for. And I still get complaints. In both my 8 and 10 team leagues, we have six teams make the playoffs. It's a 13 week regular season. Playoffs/championship are weeks 14-16. First place regular season gets a bye in week 14.

Top 30 Chuck Norris Facts: 1.) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 2.) When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women. 3.) Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it. 4.) Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. 5.) Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 6.) If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. 7.) Chuck Norris only speaks to Chuck Norris 8.) Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. 9.) Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent. 10.) Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 11.) Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." 12.) Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. 13.) Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. 14.) Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't mess with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf. 15.) Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure. 16.) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 17.) Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. 18.) There are no disabled people, only people who have met Chuck Norris. 19.) Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. 20.) Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris 21.) Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway. 22.) To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. 23.) There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. 24.) The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided. 25.) The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 26.) Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. 27.) Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. 28.) Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Danny". 29.) When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. 30.) Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the age out of a 13 year old boy.

QUOTE(YASNY @ Dec 20, 2005 -> 10:50 AM) You may be right. I don't have a clue. Maybe the guy was homeless.

QUOTE(YASNY @ Dec 20, 2005 -> 12:51 AM) He said that his grandfather lived in a house located where 3rd base at the Cell now is. I don't remember there being houses there. Am I wrong? I remember a bar (McCuddy's?), but can't picture houses. I miss the search function. Is it coming back?

QUOTE(mr_genius @ Dec 19, 2005 -> 09:11 PM) huh? Oh yea, without that hypocritical hack Bono the world would be so much worse off. I got an idea 'Bono', how about give some of your billions to the starving instead of just your lip service. He, of course, won't. Bono feels he needs his mansions and jetliners more than the people he preaches about need food. Hells, even if only kept a million he would live comfortably. I don't have a problem with people keeping their own money, but I do have a problem when they b**** at everyone else and point fingers while they live a such a decedent life them self. huh? It seems to me that Bono meets with world leaders (like our own GWB) and asks them to be involved in erasing third world debt and trying to feed the hungry. I don't see him telling us, the average person, to do more. He seems to understand that governments need to get involved and get serious about these issues. That's more than I can say about what other celebs do in their free time.

QUOTE(Tony82087 @ Dec 19, 2005 -> 08:51 AM) Here is the difference between Rex and Kyle IMHO. Rex can win the game at QB. Kyle could win the game. Let us know when you getting around to pointing out the difference between Rex and Kyle.

QUOTE(mr_genius @ Dec 18, 2005 -> 09:27 PM) oh, i can hardly wait for Bono to fly back to chicago in his private jet and preach to us about poor people. Yeah, let those people fend for themselves. Our world "leaders" will get around to addressing poverty when they're damn well ready to.

QUOTE(Steff @ Dec 17, 2005 -> 09:30 AM) I didn't get my WS balls yet though. And you bill yourself as "doable." Sorry, it was right down the middle, like a Kyle Farnsworth fastball.

QUOTE(Greg The Bull Luzinski @ Dec 17, 2005 -> 08:43 AM) Think the kids in school used to tease Rusty? Imagine the ribbing Dick Butkus took.

QUOTE(Greg The Bull Luzinski @ Dec 17, 2005 -> 07:18 AM) I mentioned him on the previous page. How about one of my all time favorite Sox players. Chet Lemon. IMO, In today's era of short porches and catchers that can't throw, I think he could have easily been a 30/30 guy. I hate when he wsa traded to the Tigers. Detroit is one place that I don't like players that I like going. Which is why I don't mind Maggggglio being there. Chet Lemon used to knock his hat off when he was chasing down fly balls in the outfield. I think he thought it made it look like he was running fast. RUSTY KUNTZ

QUOTE(GoSox05 @ Dec 15, 2005 -> 09:27 AM) I think Kenny Williams sold his soul to the devil and in return he was given the ability to make kick ass trades that make other Gm's look like idiots. Except, of course, Billy Beane.

QUOTE(CWSGuy406 @ Dec 10, 2005 -> 05:47 PM) I know this is unrealistic, but if I could give ANY gift, it'd be guaranteed health for my granparents and mom, dad, and brother. I believe there's cancer on the mom's side of my family, with some other problems on my dad's side of the family (though not as serious -- high blood pressure, hernias), so I'd just ask that none of this afflicts any of my family members. And, if I could be selfish for a moment and ASK for a gift, it'd be to be successful in getting a substantial scholarship. If I could get something like $5-10K payed for my first year, I'd be very, very happy... Not likely to be a spelling grant.

What has changed in the last few weeks that makes Bush see that he received bad info? He hasn't said that before. In fact, he has always said just the opposite. His recent "flip flop" is totally political. I totally doubt its sincerity.

QUOTE(beck72 @ Dec 15, 2005 -> 04:24 AM) With the loss of Clemens, Garland would have to look good in a 'Stros uni. Esp. if they are built around pitching and defense. I'm pretty sure Clemens can and will resign with Houston after May 1. He's getting ready for the World Championships, so I'm guessing he'll want to pitch another year.

QUOTE(RibbieRubarb @ Dec 15, 2005 -> 07:39 AM) I also loved hearing the old crew back together this morning. My favorite moments, and I know I speak for my wife also, were the times during the "Magic Johnson Show". Magic's show was god-awful and Howard spent at least an hour every day dissecting it and tearing into him. It was gold! Then Magic invited him on the show and Howard had his "band" play the song "Wipe-out" with a couple professional farters. Great stuff! That Magic Hour review was probably the best thing he did during the 10 or so years I've listened. I used to look forward to that every morning. The Gary "apology" tape was great. His professional life was at like a noin. On the E show, the goo goo dolls song where all of the cast was dressed in thongs or sailor outfits and they danced might be my visual favorite. I always thought it was cool that Jon Stewart got into a sailor outfit and danced with the cast. Any time Howard talked to his parents on air. I, too, could go on and on.

QUOTE(Steff @ Dec 14, 2005 -> 02:54 AM) Joey's surgery was a success. They have begun weaning him off the medications that leave him coma like and he started to move his feet a bit last night. They also took the ECMO stints out of his neck... so no more ECMO The doctors are amazed at his progress. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.. I would have thought they were BS'ing me about where he was 3 days ago to where he is now. They are even talking about taking him off the ventilator! Every day is a new test.. but hopefully with these few big steps he's taken the past 2 days we are past the biggest hurdles. Thank you all again for all your notes, cards, emails, messages, and calls... Jim and I can never really express the thanks they deserve. Here's a few pics.. from where he was on Friday, to where he was last night. My son had his kidney removed when he was one week old because of a tumor. He's almost two now and healthy. Looking at those pictures brings back a flood of memories from those days. There is nothing that makes you feel more helpless than seeing a baby hooked up to all sorts of tubes and monitors. You have to rely on the expertise of the staff and hope/pray for the best. My heart goes out to the baby, you, and your family, Steff.

My favorite: "October 4-- I've been trying to tell out-of-towners that Guillen has been a terrific manager." Mariotti = douchebag

The worst part of a Chicago snowstorm isn't the shoveling or travel times, it's moving your living room down to the street so some a##hole doesn't take your parking space.

QUOTE(JimH @ Dec 9, 2005 -> 09:38 AM) Who fits the bill for 4th OF? Rather than use a 4th OF, I think they should play Harris at short/center. You can play the 2b and SS deeper and basically eliminate bloop hits.

QUOTE(AnthraxFan93 @ Dec 9, 2005 -> 09:36 AM) They waited this long to do it.. Kind of like hitting your dog a week after he pees on the the carpet. The NFL should rub Kreutz' nose in Miller's pee.

QUOTE(Texsox @ Dec 8, 2005 -> 11:29 AM) By the way, what do you call a dog with wings? Linder?

QUOTE(Controlled Chaos @ Dec 8, 2005 -> 07:28 AM) and how many of you, at one time or another, have sang the stupid lyricss listed?? :rolly GUILTY!! I'm guilty of really liking that Barenaked Ladies song you posted.

"There are some words that do not belong in a rock song." In "Jesse's Girl," by Rick Springfield, the word "moot" is used. "I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot." I think that is one of the all-time odd word choices in a song. Great song, though, I'm not ashamed to say. I also wish I had Jesse's Girl.

QUOTE(Tony82087 @ Dec 6, 2005 -> 08:42 AM) Who is they? Grammar police.

QUOTE(southsideirish @ Dec 6, 2005 -> 09:02 AM) The chip is usually implanted by the breader/pet store/adoption agency (humane society...) before you even get the pet. I know the humane societies around here all have it done before you get the pet. A lot of breeders are even requiring it because they want their animals to end up in good homes and not lost somewhere. Therefore you don't have to take the pet to the vet at all to have it done. It is already done for you in a lot of cases. It is becoming more and more common. In a few suburbs if your pet is lost and the animal control department finds it they will have a chip implanted as well. I don't know if you guys think this is some big procedure or something, but it is basically just a shot. It is not some surgical procedure. It is the size of a piece of uncooked rice. It is a permanent radio-frequency identification chip implanted under the dog's skin and read by a chip scanner or wand. Implantation is done with an injector that places the chip under the loose skin over the dog's shoulder. It is also not expensive, usually only 50-60 dollars. About the same or a little more than the cost of yearly shot visits, at least for me anyway. Steff, you can't make it out of a non-chewable substance for the ankle/leg brace? I find that hard to believe. I am sure it can be done. If not then put something on it that makes it unappealing for the animal to chew it. Bitter Apple has worked great for my dog, but I know other dogs will still chew it. There is a way to keep them from chewing it is my point and not unrealistic at all. I would never buy a collar with an implant because all of my pets have been able to lose their collar at one point or another. I want a break away collar for the reasons I stated earlier. I don't want them getting themselves hung on a tree or a fence or anything of that nature. I don't think a collar is worthwhile at all for a tracking device. Put bitter apple on your dog and it's me who'll be chewing on his ankle. Yum yum.